Heya, folks. Since everyone and their moms have been doing these lately and I pretty much enjoyed reading them I figured I’d do one for me, as well.
Here are ten random facts about me:
#1 I love web comics
It all started out when I was randomly browsing myspace back in the day. On some profile I saw a short comic strip featuring stick-figureish people and really crude humour. Being a fan of comics and also comic strips like Garfield, Gary Larson’s The Far Side, Martin Perscheid (a German cartoonist), Calvin and Hobbes and so on, I got hooked on the dark, cynic and often plain misanthropic humour of Cyanide and Happiness, my gateway drug into the world of web comics.
I soon developed a craving for short, simplistic, yet funny and creative comics and was searching the web for more. And I found more, and better. Penny Arcade and many more followed.
But the prime I had yet to find. Until one fateful day…
On a social network someone in the CaH group was recommending another web comic, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal or short SMBC Comics.
SMBC by Zach Wiener (heh) became my all-time favourite quicker than you can say “Genious, hilarious
, clever, brilliant
, everything I hope to eat, be
and experience”. The gags often contain clever twists
and the strips are full the creator’s science
. Sometimes it’s over the top
, sometimes it’s really down to earth
but every time it is funny as hell
Up to this day I have read so many web comics I can’t recall them all.But I do remember Gone with a blastwave (a gritty, sarcastic war satire), The Gunshow by KC Green (funny shit; here an earlier web comic
by KC), Sexy Losers (dark humour + sex = awesome), AmazingSuperPowers (priceless) and more elaborate stories like Looking for Group (kind of started as fantasy parody but became a fantasy story in its own right over time) and Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic.
The only comic that nearly pushed SMBC from its throne is Perry Bible Fellowship. Just as creative, just as witty, more differing art styles but very rare updates. Check it out, in fact, check every single comic out that I am naming, do it. And if you do so, don’t forget the little red button under the strips of SMBC and the graphic info and the question mark on the top right of AmazingSuperPowers; there be bonus laughs.
Today my daily routine consists of Cyanide and Happiness (although it lost much of its charm, my fave has always been Rob den Bleyker), Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic, Penny Arcade and of course Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereals.
Also, through web comics I found Destructoid
, so that’s another great plus, isn’t it?
#2 I played in a band
With the money I got for my 18th birthday I bought three things: A bass, an amp and a tattoo. What could you possibly need in addition to that to become a rock star? A fine tea set. Wrong! Skills. Wrong again! You need a band.
So four months into playing I got together with two friends of mine who – during the course of the band – became even better friends. Turned out we weren’t too ambitious in a professional sense but we had fun the whole time. We started on Good Friday covering Pennywise’s “Bro Hymn” and Green Day’s “Hitchin’ a ride”, later played gigs in our school (unprepared, drunk and plain bad) and at the New Year’s party of our drummer (New Years Eve: sober; New Year: shitfaced). Not long after we started we got to the point where we found our own style (namely no specific style) and wrote our own songs, some of which I still like today (and that means something!). We organized several concerts with acquainted bands which often were received quite well although (or maybe because) we shamelessly mixed bands from several genres during a gig. In the end only one cover song (“Velvet Alley” by Strung Out, although I always preferred “Katatonia”) remained and we even managed to record an EP with five songs. I don’t want to link them because our vocals are (most possibly) atrocious but hey, if you’re interested search YouTube for “remainsane cologne”. You have been warned, though.
A few years ago we went into cryogenic hyper sleep because we started studying in different cities and even countries but I hope sometime we can play some shit again. Good times…
#3 I ruptured my spleen once
Talking of good times, one time I went on snowboard vacation with three good friends of mine. I never boarded before but I can ski. Couldn’t be that
hard to ride down a mountain on just one board, could it? Turns out it actually wasn’t. Sure, in the beginning I fell quite a lot but I got the hang of it rather quick. Unfortunately we didn’t find the small piste until the end of the first day, so some bails were quite hard and also a bit discouraging (in an “I’d rather die than fall on my arse again” sense).
The second day started with me battling the most monstrous sore muscles ever experienced by man, I couldn’t even stand
on the board. Well, after fifteen minutes it somehow worked. The second day everything flowed so nicely, I didn’t lose balance anymore, everything was falling into place, snowboarding was awesome. The day ended with me getting emergency-helicoptered (yes, that’s a verb now) to the nearest hospital due to a spleen I supposedly ruptured during the first day. Needless to say, that sucked! You know, what sucks even more? Not being allowed to drink something for three days straight due to necessary precautionary surgery-readiness. Hell, I say, HELL!
In the end I didn’t get surgery and I still have my spleen. I was in a really bad state but just this teeny weenie bit good enough to not get it removed.
#4 I am from Germany
Oh nein, he’s from Deutschland. That’s the land that hasst alles concerning Videospiele because jeder Gamer ist ein potential Amokläufer. Yeah, ich hasse das auch.
But what I hate even more about Germany concerning videogames are two things: the mindset and the voice-acting. The mindset bit contains pricing strategies, censorship and general dumbness regarding our favourite medium. This country is governed by and for old people, you can feel that. I really don’t want to go into detail, though, or I will blow a gasket. Maybe the Pirate Party will bring a little breeze of change.
The voice acting bit actually refers to everything (movies, games etc) that is getting localized in Germany which is basically everything. Unfortunately our “voice acting” (I don’t even want to call it that) is so bad and often unfitting that it destroys every good actor and good game. I can’t see why this less than mediocre shit has to exist and dumbs down the population while folks in my university often can’t even speak or read three English words straight. Let alone, the artistic merit that is nearly completely lost in the void.
But hey, beer’s good. And we got point and click adventures.
#5 I met Evil Jared from the Bloodhound Gang
I was out partying with some friends and when everybody but a friend of mine and I went home we went to familiar bar-club-hybrid Underground
for some last dance moves and a beer. While checking out the second dance-floor (the Ska room) we saw a person with an uncanny resemblance to Evil Jared of the Bloodhound Gang. We are both big fans of them (at least the earlier stuff). Hooray for Boobies and One Fierce Beercoaster are records I still hold dear. Although they seem to be puberty-ridden jerkfests, they have satirical merit and feature smart, creative and funny lyrics. Lift your head up high(and blow your brains out), Mope, Magna cum nada, Yummy down on this, Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?, Hell yeah, A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying, Kiss me where it smells funny, Foxtrott Uniform Charlie Kilo, The Bad touch, I love them all!
Well and since the resemblance was really, really striking we went up to him and asked. It was him and we talked a bit about Germany and the new album (Hefty Fine; Evil Jared: It sucks and that’s Jimmy Pop’s fault).
And yes, like the good celebrity whores we were we took a picture with him. Well, at least after we drank a Jägermeister with him.
#6 I am approaching the 300th entry in my dvd/blu ray collection
I am a lover of the moving pictures and have been for a long time. Somewhat, when I was in my teens I started buying movies myself. First on VHS, then followed by one of the best inventions of the last century, DVDs. Roughly at this point I started watching movies in the original language (the best feature of DVDs, unarguably) and try to do so ever since. My buying habits are really mixed. Sometimes I buy out of pure interest, sometimes out of opportunity without knowing anything about the movie (except if it’s cut or uncut) and sometimes because I want to own that fucking good movie I saw once.
And right now I am in the middle of the countdown to the 300th entry in my collection, a bit of a historic happening for me. And I want the ten movies leading to the jubilee to be somewhat special, for example favourite movies I forgot, movies I always heard about and which I wanted to see, and so on.
My countdown up until now looks like this:
291. Idiocracy: Satire about the devolution of the human race
292. Dänische Delikatessen (The Green Butchers for you): Dark comedy about two butcher’s who make sirloin out of human flesh with all sorts of problems
293. Bittersweet life: Korean revenge-thriller
294. Audition: Japanese Psycho-horror by Miike
295. Summer wars: Anime about the bonds and limits between the digital and the analogue world
300. Already reserved
So please, if you have any rare, absurd-trashy, memorable or just good recommendation to make for the last four movies (or shows) that would fit in there nicely, hit me. I am open to suggestions.
#7 Holy shit, this is getting way longer than I expected. So this one’s a short one: Green is my favourite colour
Pictured: Green, which is awesome.
#8 I love books
Books totally rock. I loved them ever since I was a kid. Everytime we drove somewhere by car or train I had several books with me that I just devoured. I cannot understand how someone can dislike reading and I can’t fucking stand to the degree where I want to beat the person to death with a book when people are proud
of not reading. Ugh!
Hm, what’s more to tell? Shit, I dunno. That’s kind of boring, isn’t it? Oh, I got it.
Here is my Top 5 Most Recommended Books:
1. Killing yourself to live by Chuck Klosterman
2. Die Stadt der Träumenden Bücher by Walter Moers (Wow, I just found out that this book was also published in English. If you love books and reading, you have to read this! It’s called The City of Dreaming Books in English)
3. 1984 by George Orwell
4. The Electric Church (and the four following books) by Jeff Somers (beautifully crafted dystopian science fiction; never read anything more fast-paced)
5. Everything by Terry Pratchett
Unfortunately recently I find the balancing act between reading, watching and videogaming pretty hard and honestly I feel I should make more room for reading. Maybe the reading will prevail when Capcom, Ubisoft and EA destroyed videogames altogether.
Currently, I am reading The Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes Part I and the sequel to The City of Dreaming Books, Das Labyrinth der träumenden Bücher.
#9 I fear that I will never work in the videogame industry
Videogames are my thing. I love to play them, I love to read about them, I love listening to them, I love talking about them and I would love working with them. Unfortunately I don’t have any solid idea what I can do and want to do other than “Something with vidyagaems, derp”.
I don’t really think that written journalism is my thing because I would be too much on my own and I have problems motivating myself. I can imagine working with a group of people for online video editorial work. I can imagine working in localization teams for games, PR or event management but I don’t really know how, where and when. Germany is not the best country for that, as well. And I can’t find where to start.
#10 One time I had a outer body experience
When I was just a little child, I was on a playground with my father. On this playground was a wooden tower with a slide. You could climb the tower by ladder and hanging ladder and being the ambitious little monster I was I wanted to climb the hanging ladder. I got to about two or three meters height when I lost hold and plummeted to the ground. And because I was really little I didn’t have any cool grapping reflexes in my repertoire, so instead of - I don’t know – not hurting myself, I fucking belly flopped from nearly three meters high on hard ground. That was over 23 years ago but I still remember clear as day the moment I hit the ground, especially the fact that I saw it while floating three meters above my body. I was wearing something bright, white or light-blueish. The moment didn’t last long, it was gone almost instantaneous.
My dad grabbed poor unconscious me and jumped in front of the first car on the street to get me to a hospital and everything turned out fine but I will never forget this one short, eerie moment when I saw my little self lying there under me in the dirt. Creepy as shit.
Thanks for reading, dicks and vags. G’day.