Most of you who still remember me know that I wrote a little musing back in April about Metroids. Now, while those little bastards still bug the ever-living hell out of me, I still love the other conventions of the series; mainly the exploration, discovery of new items and the like. Hell, half the fun of those games is going back to an area with an item you needed, then blasting a hole through whatever wall/door/enemy that blocked your path. That, I feel, is what made the series great.

Granted, Shadow Complex took everything great about the Metroid franchise (minus its vile, head-sucking namesakes of course) and gave it a serious overhaul. While I still whistled the "Item Collection" tune every time I picked up an armor upgrade, that isn't to say the whole game felt like a Metroid "clone". In fact, Shadow Complex did an excellent job in separating itself from the franchise that (mostly) inspired it. Jason has to rely more on sneaking around in the beginning to avoid getting shot full of holes by the bad guys, who unfortunately don't start out as little weak space-beetles that shuffle back and forth. No, these are fully-armed, fully-trained secessionists, and they will completely F you up if they see you. Well, they will on the harder difficulty levels, anyway. If you're playing on easy, they may as well be weak-ass space beetles. Still, the game proved that the age-old tradition of "blowing up every single square inch of rock to find a hidden passage" still works, even over twenty years later.

However, the only gripe I had with the game was its length. As Impressed as I was with the game, I felt it could've been a little longer. Okay, a LOT longer. I remember getting to the lake at the very end of the game (actually, that happened YESTERDAY), feeling my eyes light up as the lake drained to reveal an impressive-looking hidden fortress that made Cobra's Terror Dome look silly and laughable in comparison. I originally thought that this was only the midway point, and that maybe I'd have a whole other section of the complex magically open up and allow me access to a whole new host of goodies.

Ten minutes and two nuclear launches later, I found myself staring at the end credits. Part of me wasn't too surprised; I mean, it's a frickin' MetroidVania. Most of them don't usually run over two hours or so. But a tiny nugget in the back of my brain hungered for more; it demanded more items to collect, more bad guys to shoot/punch/catapult/disintegrate via curbstomp, and although I immediately started over on insane, it just didn't have the same impact as earlier. I kept saying aloud to myself "Man, I already killed these guys. It's just not the same!"

I don't know, I guess I've just been spoiled in recent years, what with all the 40-hour epics the big game companies keep churning out year after year, sucking the hard-earned funds out of my bank account and keeping me glued to my TV screen. Maybe I just lost the romance that I once found in playing a 2-hour game over and over just to find every last item, and for what? Just to say that I did it? That I wasted Zod-knows how much time, effort and energy guiding a fictional character through air ducts and hangars just to find every last grenade pack? Holy Crap, what have I been doing with my life? I could be out shaping the world in my own image, helping usher forth a new golden age for Humanity!

...ah, screw it. I still gotta beat the Master Challenges!

Wow, it's been a while since I've done one of these Cblog things. While I'd like to say that I've been inundated with work, or spending my free time working with the folks at Infinite Bits, in reality it's mostly due to Street Fighter IV, that ill-gotten, time-sucking vampire that Capcom put out back in February. I can't recall a night in the past three months where I didn't get online and try to stomp people with M. Bison; whether I was successful or not usually depended on what kind of mood I was in (and if I'd played a little Contra 4 just to fire up my reflexes a little before jumping online).

During my three-month obsession with SFIV, I can safely say I've developed a love-hate relationship with the game much like I had with the entire R-Type series. I always get into a bad mood whenever I play the game; whether it be some spammer who got in a lucky Cannon Spike or whether I stupidly dashed forward and got Metsu'd in the Face, I always end up leaving the game angry. Needless to say, I never play with a headset on...mostly because I end up uttering things that would make a Nun tear her own ears off. Yet I'm always on without fail, trying to salvage my pitiful Championship Ranking (I'm currently stuck in G2-D for those who are wondering...go ahead and laugh, I don't care!) or just keep myself from getting stuck in some Blanka player's cross-up, I'm always on, desperately trying to improve.

So why am I putting this game on the "Done" pile along with Phelios? Well, mostly due to the fact that I will never truly be "done" with the game at all: Even if I unlocked every achievement, beat every challenge and conquered every one of those stupid, annoying trial stages, I know I'm still going to be online every weeknight, going up against Scrub Kens who think the Shoryuken is the best move every created, and Zangiefs who think that the Lariat will protect them from everything. I'll be on to crush them, to stomp out any thoughts they might have had about spamming their way through the ranks, and to bring them into the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica.

So, I find it only fitting that I retire SFIV from my "Currently Playing" list so I can focus on the forthcoming titles coming out in June (namely Ghostbusters), that and I was simply sick of seeing it on the list in the first place.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to beat Mission:Impossible. Wish me luck!

I realize this probably should've been my "Expanded Universes" blog, but I didn't discover this video until after I'd posted that Gradius/Life Force Anime blog. Still, we all know about Video Game movies and the horrors that lie within the deepest recesses of video game Fan Fiction, but what about those souls who slave behind a camera, rather than a pen or a word processor? Those masochistic souls who spend hours upon hours editing with Adobe Premiere (or Heaven Forbid, Windows Movie Maker) out of love for a specific title, like this video here:




I found that lumped in with countless versions of the Official Splatterhouse 2009 Comic-Con trailer. I know it's not much, but hell if it didn't impress me. It's rare to see something like that on YouTube by accident; especially since when I deliberately search for fan-made material, the best I can come up with is a film someone made in their backyard, followed by a thousand "VGMV'S" (that's Video Game Music Videos for those who hate acronyms) and a hundred thousand "Reviews" by 13-year-olds who weren't even alive when the game originally released. It's a shame that we won't see stuff like that in our local cineplexes, but I'm content to watch it on the internet for free.

Since I've recovered from my cold, I figured I'd try and start a series of blogs with a central theme (partially inspired by the Dragon Questiing series I've started reading recently). Now, I've seen a couple of gaming "To-Do" Lists, and while that's all well and good, I figured it'd be a whole lot easier to just beat a game, then reflect a little bit on it after I've finished. Hence, the "Done" pile.



Anyway, this week's title is "Phelios", a rather nifty little shmup for the Genesis by Namco, which I'd picked up in Orlando whilst accompanying the fine folks at Infinite Bits to Otronicon. Loosely based off of Grecian Myth, the game stars the Sun God Apollo, who's questing to save his lover, Artemis, from the clutches of the evil Typhon. Now, I know this game takes a few liberties with the source material (and after all, it's not like they had copyright infringement in Ancient Greece or anything), but having read a few of the Greek Myths back in high school, the overall story just seems a little creepy...mainly because Apollo and Artemis are supposed to be brother and sister.



"Ugh, quit leering at me like that, Apollo! It's disgusting!"

Anyway, incestuous overtone aside; Phelios borrows a little from to the top-down stages of Life Force; the player can equip up to two "option" satellites to augment the power of his Burning Sword of Justice, as well as three different sub-weapons: a typical "Homing" shot, a powerful "Beam" weapon that shoots a continuous stream of energy, as well as the "Across" shot which ricochets off of walls, which is extremely useful in enclosed areas. Even without all those nifty bells and Whistles, Apollo can still charge his sword to fire a powerful fireball capable of decimating entire waves of baddies. Nevertheless, the game was pretty challenging, and while there is a Novice Mode, it only takes the player through the first four levels, ultimately ending with a battle against Antaeus.



No, this isn't Antaeus, this is "Ladon", a dragon borne from the blood of Medusa. Also pictured, the "Beam" weapon in action.

Naturally, I took the "Advanced" route. There wouldn't really have been any point otherwise; Antaeus is hardly worthy of being a final boss. I mean, he's supposed to be this giant warrior who would challenge mortals and gods alike to wrestling matches, and he would use the skulls and bones of his crushed opponents in order to construct a temple to his father, Poseidon. Sounds pretty badass, right? Unfortunately, in the game they reduced him to some flying upper-torso that shot a paltry stream of fireballs. I know there was no way the could've made the former description actually work in 16 bits, but I would SOOO love to see that concept in something like God of War III (wishful thinking).

The same goes for the final boss, Typhon. According to mythology, he was supposed to be this huge monstrosity who had the upper torso of a man which was as tall as the sky; with two hands that had 100 dragon heads on each. His lower body was composed of millions of serpents, kind of like a Hula-Skirt of the Damned. Not as hardcore-sounding as Antaeus, but still pretty cool. However, in Phelios, the developers apparently opted for this design:


"Mwa ha ha, Apollo! I have naked pictures of your sister! If you hope to get the negatives back, you must face me in combat!"

Still, despite the change in design, I still had a heck of a time taking him down...even with Phelios, the Sword of Light in my hand (pictured), it still took nearly 50 fully-charged uber-beams to finally put Typhon under, all the while dodging toxic death-bubbles and multidirectional lasers that fired from his crotch. Still, through luck and twitch relfexes I persevered and rescued my girlfriend...er, my sister...er, I just don't know anymore.


I don't think I need a witty caption for this one...it's about 7 flavors of wrong all on it's own...*shudder*

After beating the game, it unlocked an "Expert" mode, but the only difference I saw was that the enemy bullets moved slightly faster than in advanced mode. I turned the game off, thinking to myself that it would be there the next time I turned the game on...but naturally, I was wrong. Apparently, I would have to beat both "Advanced" and "Expert" modes in one sitting, and let me tell you, dear readers, that I just don't have that kind of patience. So, as far as I'm concerned, this game is officially on the "Done" pile. It's available for the virtual console if you want to give it a go, if you can forego the initial creepiness.

Ahhh...World Domination. Those two words, when combined, never fail to put a huge smile on my face. There aren't too many games that let you play around with such a wonderful concept; the most notable of which being the ever-so-quirky "Evil Genius" for the PC. However, back during the mid-90s (before MTV went on its downward spiral into Pop Music Hell and movies like Johnny Mnemonic were considered cutting-edge cinema), there was a up-and-coming game designer by the name of Peter Molyneux, who was currently riding high on the moderate success of the "Populous" series and looking for a way to cash in on the "Cyberpunk" sub-genre, which was itself riding high in a popular culture that had little to no idea what the internet actually was, much less how it worked.

Now, as with most things, I have a love-hate relationship with Cyberpunk. I love the gadgets, concepts and dystopian landscapes that are present within the genre, but there just weren't too many good plots to go with them (the only notable exception being the film "Strange Days", which I still absolutely love and adore...though I know I'll never see those "squid" receptors in my lifetime. Shame, too...those things would revolutionize the porn industry...). See, Cyberpunk usually follows a basic formula: Shadowy Corporations rule and control every aspect of human life, theres a blue-collar protagonist who either comes across some key information/special device/macguffin that EVERYBODY wants, and he and a street-smart teenage girl (which is supposedly MANDATORY), try to find a way to activate/sell/use the macguffin, all while keeping one step ahead of some generic thugs/Yakuza/professional assassins in order to strike a blow for the oppressed proletariat.

And so, there were Cyberpunk games as well, most of which followed this very same formula to the fricking letter. However, as with "Strange Days", there was an exception to the rule....and that exception was Bullfrog Productions' "SYNDICATE".



Before you ask, no, that is NOT Dr. Manhattan.

SYNDICATE was unique amongst Cyberpunk games in that you weren't some dork hacker out to stick it to "The Man". You WERE "The Man" in Syndicate; the head of a shadowy, sinister corporation out for one thing and one thing only:

WORLD DOMINATION!

Ooh...I think I just got a little bit tingly there!

SYNDICATE was my game of choice back when I was an acne-faced, 13-year-old punk whose only forays into the PC-gaming world were DOOM, Carmen Sandiego and Cyberia (which I'll review at a later time). Much like Doom, there was no real plot to the game other than "Make your own corporation, then conquer the world through assassination, racketeering and brainwashing." Of course, since you were the corporate big-wig, you don't want to get your hands dirty. Luckily, you have a cadre of specially trained (and freshly brainwashed) "agents" at your disposal. Load them up with weapons, fit them with cybernetic enhancements, then let them loose on the streets to do your bidding.

The greatest thing about Syndicate was that it gave free reign to the player: Need some more agents? Bring along a Persuadertron and brainwash yourself some recruits! Can't snipe that public official? No worries, just mow down the whole fricking crowd with a hail of gunfire! Whatever it takes to get the job done, right?

Unfortunately, there are other Shadowy organizations populating the game world, and none of them like some newbie punk muscling in on their turf. So, in order to protect their investments, they send out their own Enemy Agents to deal with your antics. In the beginning, they aren't that tough; but by the end of the game they'll pull out all the stops to crush you, up to and including rigging their agents to explode shortly after death. Of course, as the game goes on, you can access your R&D Labs to fit your agents with deadlier weapons and enhancements, such as lasers, miniguns and energy shields. Not only that, you could use drugs to further enhance the agents' speed, strength and accuracy in the field.


Since a screenshot can't do this game any justice, here's some gameplay footage I found:



All in all, Syndicate was a blast to play; although it got insanely hard near the end. There was also an expansion pack (American Revolt) which was even harder than that; allowing the player to actually call in airstrikes when things got way too hairy (and they always did). Sadly, there was only one sequel, "Syndicate Wars", which was released for the PC as well as the PsOne, as well as a watered-down port of the original game for the SNES:


Really? Deactivate Cyborgs and Disarm them? At least you can still mow down civilians...

After Syndicate Wars (which was nowhere near as good as the original), Molyneux went on to produce such games as the "Dungeon Keeper" series. After EA bought out bullfrog, he moved onto "Black & White" and the "Fable" series. It's a shame, too, because I'd love to see a re-make of Syndicate with updated Graphics and online multiplayer; where people can make their own organizations, and send their cyborg agents against one another within major cities, while everyday citizens are caught in the crossfire. Even better still, groups of people can team up and form even bigger organizations, with each player picking a specific agent for online play! The possibilities are endless, and I think it's high time this game got a facelift.

Alright, well I'm suffering from a massive cold, and I don't have enough creative juices flowing through my head to warrant a work of amazing quality. So, I figured I'd just jump on the bandwagon and do one of those "X-Number of things you wanted to know" blogs...just because I can. Anyways, without further ado, let's get this over with so I can take some Ny-Quil and lie the hell down.

#1: I was banned from playing Double Dragon as a kid.



Double Dragon was one of my first true gaming obsessions; yes, even before Contra (which I'll get to in a bit). It was a far cry from what I'd played at the time; having been weaned off of Sesame Street games on my parents' old Atari 2600. I thought the NES was all about jumping on turtles and eating Mushrooms, but Double Dragon opened my eyes...and I would always ask my folks to rent the game for me every weekend so I could try and beat it. However; as I learned each new move, such as the Jump Kick or the Elbow Punch, I just HAD to try it out myself. I'd spend hours doing fake martial arts moves in my downstairs living room, until one fateful day when I'd accidentally roundhouse'd a marble vase which sat on the coffee table, shattering it into about a dozen pieces. That was the last time I saw a copy of Double Dragon for about five years. My folks enforced the ban as a reminder not to be stupid enough to mimic what I see on TV, video game or otherwise. Thankfully, they finally caved in and got me the Gameboy version when they saw that I'd smartened up.

#2. I can beat Contra in one life using the standard pea shooter...



...though I will admit I can't do it consistently. It's no easy task, especially since I get so antsy toward the end and second-guess myself into making a mistake. I don't remember what spurred me on to try and attempt it at first, but I think I was just bored with tearing through the game with the spreader. I just kept limiting myself; no 30-life code, no spreader, no powerups at all, no lives lost, the list goes on and on. I used to even videotape my own gameplay and play it back to see where I screwed up the most! I'm glad I spent my pre-teen years on something worthwhile rather than wasting it on trivial things, like joining a sports team or discovering girls. Still, it makes for a really neat party trick!

#3. Metroids terrify me.


Even in Dessert Form, they still make my flesh crawl.

These little jellyfish bastards have haunted my dreams ever since I was a wee Pintobean. I don't know what it is about them that makes them so damn disturbing, but I'm pretty sure it's because they're like an unholy fusion of a jellyfish and a fucking VAMPIRE. The first game wasn't that bad, mostly because they were only in Tourian and they didn't make their trademark "SCREEE!" sounds. It was really the second game that made them terrifying; they "SCREE!"d, they were EVERYWHERE, and they could mutate into bigger, nastier threats. That, and every time I ran into one they'd play that awful music:



Seriously, these things make my flesh crawl. Over the years, I had thought I'd gotten over my deep-seated fear of these creatures; that is, until Metroid Prime came out. Let me tell you, it's one thing to see a Metroid gliding toward Samus in 2D, it's another to see one COMING RIGHT FOR YOU. O_o

#4. I used to write to game companies with suggestions...



...and believe it or not, Konami actually responded. Most of what I wrote were usually requests for Arcade ports for the NES, and in Konami's case I believe I was writing them for a NES port of the Aliens arcade game (which I'd loved as a child, and is the sole reason I got into the film franchise to begin with). I even drew pictures to go along with it (yes, I was that dedicated), and they sent me a letter in the mail saying they couldn't do it because they were already on a very tight release schedule and they couldn't accommodate my request. I figured that would be the case, but I didn't care, I was just totally stoked that they actually wasted the time and paper to send me a form letter! Though I didn't see why they had to send back the pictures I drew....jerks.

#5. I once had a phone Conversation with Orson Scott Card.

It was for a job I had taking phone orders for the Metropolitan Museum of Art, he called up to order a crapload of Xmas gifts for his relatives. I struck up some generic conversation while he pointed out what he wanted. I didn't really know who it was until he completed the order and I asked for the name on his credit card...

Me: "May I have the last name as it appears on your card, please?"

OSC: "Card."

Me: "And the first name?"

OSC: "Orson."

Me: [Brief Pause] "...your middle name wouldn't happen to be Scott, would it?"

OSC: "...yes."

Me: "The guy who wrote Ender's Game?"

OSC: "Yeah, that's me."

After that point I didn't really say much, I just finalized the order in a very awestruck, monotone voice. Afterwards, he gave me a link to his website at the time, and wished me a happy holiday. Alright, so it wasn't much of a conversation, but dammit I talked to a real-life published author! That people know! Uhh...so THERE!

#6. I am obsessed with shmups.



I know I mentioned this in my R-Type blog, but I figured I'd just state it again for the record. I love shmups; they are my single-greatest weakness. If someone, ANYONE hands me a copy of Gradius (including it's sister games and spinoffs), I will sit down and play the ever loving CRAP out of it until my fingers are covered in huge, red blisters. The first shmup I ever played obsessively was Galaga; whom I learned from a single mother who would drag her two kids with her to the arcade at my local mall. She would literally stand there and play the Galaga machine for two solid hours, usually racking up a good 800-900k score. One day, I just had to ask her how she got so good at it, and she took me through the basics. I eneded up going from a 100k to a 400k score easily, although I'd never been able to reach anywhere as high as she could. I don't remember what her actual name was, but she'd always set her initials as "KIM". Since then, I've played hundreds upon hundreds of shmups....though I will admit I'm not really a big fan of the "Bullet Hell" subgenre that's been getting so popular recently...with the exception of DoDonPachi. I looooooves me some DoDonPachi.


7. I Love Chiptunes/Game Tunes.

I have countless game soundtracks on my iPod, as well as countless original chiptunes. My favorite chiptune artist at the moment is Haruhisa "Hally" Tanaka; who's made several catchy tracks such as "Charhang Strikes Back Again!" as well as the ever-amazing "Sprite Bells". You can find most of Hally's work in .nsf format at 2a03.org. My favorite chiptune/game tune of all time would have to be Zuntata's "Daddy Mulk" from the Ninja Warriors arcade game:



8. I got fired from my first job because I went home 3 hours early to finish Xenogears.



Not much to say here, I had to go to work JUST as I reached the second-to-final boss, "Deus". I completely forgot that I had a shift that night, so naturally I kept looking at the time clock, just wishing it would move at least 3 hours ahead. I was so sick of the job to begin with (I bagged groceries) that I just decided to punch out and just not come back. My boss must have called the house 3 times, but I didn't answer back until I'd beaten that fricking game. He was less than happy that I'd skipped work way earlier than I was supposed to, but I didn't care. Needless to say, they fired me the next day. Of course, I was about 17 at the time, so I'd just put down "Quit because of school-related demands" on my resume.