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About Me
Name: Jake
Age: 21
Sex: Male
Blood Type: Red
Origin: England
Current room status: Atom Bombed
Mood: KO'd

Fighting Style: Changquan (Long Fist)
Favorite Stance: High Tiger
Weapon of Choice: Butterfly Swords
Weakness: Mortality
Drug of choice: Video Games

Favorite Book: American Psycho
Favorite Movies: Matrix, Fight Club, American Beauty, American Psycho...too many to list
Favorite Writer: Joe Rogan

Currently Playing:
Xbox 360: Rock Band
PS3: Pain
Wii: Wii Fit
DS: Etrian Odyssey
PSP: Beats

Games:
Favorite Genres:
- Rhythm
- 3rd Person Shooter
- Action/Adventure
- RPG
- Racing

Systems I Own:
- SEGA Mega Drive II
- SEGA Dreamcast
- Xbox
- Xbox 360
- Nintendo GameBoy
- Nintendo GameBoy SP
- Nintendo DS
- Nintendo 64
- Nintendo GameCube
- Nintendo Wii
- Playstation
- Playstation 2
- Playstation 3
- PSP

Favorite Games:
- 1 - Super Smash Bros. Melee (GC)
- 2 - Bust-A-Groove (PSX)
- 3 - Stepmania (PC)
- 4 - Guitar Hero Series (PS2/360)
- 5 - Puzzle Quest (PSP)
- 6 - Wario Ware Inc. (DS)
- 7 - Tony Hawk's Pro Skater Series (PS1/PS2/PSP/Xbox/360)
- 8 - Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (Xbox/PC)
- 9 - Super Mario 64 (N64, Wii)
- 10 - Monkey Island Series (Amiga/PC/DS)
Just not in the top 10: WWF Smackdown Series (PSX/PS2), Guitaroo Man (PS2), Oblivion (360), Phoenix Wright (DS), Burnout 3: Takedown (Xbox)

Things That I Hate
- Hating things
- Release Dates (Games, movies, hardware, software)
- Waiting
- Every other driver on the road
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam:
Battle:
PSN:
Mii:
Gamertag: Midknight ZERO
Following (3)
Colette Bennett
Hamza CTZ Aziz
Niero
LOLz @ Ads. Is the 'Toid not safe anymore?!?
Midknight | 11:03 PM on 01.23.2008 18 comments


I felt good today. Had a nice relaxing day. No stress. No worries. Just a PSP and my thumbs.

Then, the snowball starts rolling. Oh, what's that? The WWW is calling? I'm coming! Wait right where you are, i'll be there in a sec!

So off we go. I logged in to the lair of hardcore nerdography that is Dtoid today to check up on this wonderful world of gaming, as per usual. Then suddenly, from nowhere, the 'toid is gunning for my manhood! What gives?

My pride took a big hit with the force of a nice sponsored ad.







Fast Size Penis Enlargement!

It took time. A few seconds maybe. Then the pain. The agony of the shame.

Wow, what a great way to kick my confidence! I have enough trouble finding women as a hermit-like hardcore gamer, who sits inside for 72 hour funfests of Puzzle Quest and Bust-A-Groove. The last thing I need is a reminder that IF I ever do find a girl willing enough to let me at least show her my penis, she might just laugh at it.

That would hurt, and as we all know, gamers are worthless little nerds who hate pain so much they cut off all social interaction completely. Except Myface...or Spacebook (but only because those sites are l33t obviously) So taking a full force chair shot like this took some time to comprehend.

"But don't worry, she's just being nice...you should do something about that."

Destructoid, I though you loved me?!?

Midknight

(Yes, this is my first post, no i'm not a spammer or an idiot, i'm just cleaning the thoughts out of my head.)



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17 comments | showing # 1 to 17
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Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 23:43
Hamza CTZ Aziz
LLOLOLOL! Well, if it makes you feel any better, we don't pick the ads.
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 23:49
Conrad Zimmerman
Lol. And that is one massive blog header, dude.
Dynamic Sheep's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 23:51
Dynamic Sheep
Hi Bill.
Welcome to Dtoid.
Don't suck.
Midknight's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 23:52
Midknight
It's temporary. Just wanted to get going I suppose. I've been coming on here for like a year and only just signed up a couple days ago. Thought it was time to get rocking and rolling while i'm bored.

Thanks for reading anyway guys.

I think i'll like posting here...
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 23:54
MrSadistic
Results in 30 days? What a jip.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 23:55
EternalDeathSlayer
welcome, that was pretty good dude. Well, certainly better than most first times.

Welcome to Destructoid, and dude, your blog header banner thing is fucking huge. You should resize that shit a bit.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 23:56
Niero
haha, thanks for the heads up I'll get that banned asap
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/23/2008 23:56
Colette Bennett
Midknight - I need a Puzzle Quest dueler on Live. Add me - user name nagiko. Please. I'm addicted. Help me.
Midknight's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/24/2008 00:01
Midknight
I'm a PSP dueler unfortunately. I'd play the 360 version if it was free (i've bought it once already...and played to death) and if Live was free..and not dying of cancer.

I realise that's just a long winded way of saying i'm cheap and can't be bothered, but whatever.
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/24/2008 00:02
tazarthayoot
How many penis sizes must die?
AfroJoel's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/24/2008 00:06
AfroJoel
LOLZ
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/24/2008 00:15
vexed alex
Hahahahahahahahaha!

Neiro, don't ban that! It's fucking fantastic!
Robert Janelle's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/24/2008 01:54
Robert Janelle
Guys, lets face it. We've all been exposed to so much radiation from our life time's of gaming that size is hardly going to be the issue if and when we're confronted by an actual woman...and not the blue alien from Mass Effect.
Hitogoroshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/24/2008 08:11
Hitogoroshi
Lots of guys on this site. It'd probably get a lot of clicks. Not by me though....seriously.
Midknight's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/25/2008 21:53
Midknight
It's temporary. Just wanted to get going I suppose. I've been coming on here for like a year and only just signed up a couple days ago. Thought it was time to get rocking and rolling while i'm bored.

Thanks for reading anyway guys.

I think i'll like posting here...
Midknight's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/25/2008 21:53
Midknight
I'm a PSP dueler unfortunately. I'd play the 360 version if it was free (i've bought it once already...and played to death) and if Live was free..and not dying of cancer.

I realise that's just a long winded way of saying i'm cheap and can't be bothered, but whatever.
Midknight's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/25/2008 21:53
Midknight
I'm a PSP dueler unfortunately. I'd play the 360 version if it was free (i've bought it once already...and played to death) and if Live was free..and not dying of cancer.

I realise that's just a long winded way of saying i'm cheap and can't be bothered, but whatever.
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