LOLz @ Ads. Is the 'Toid not safe anymore?!? - Destructoid

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Name: Jake
Age: 21
Sex: Male
Blood Type: Red
Origin: England
Current room status: Atom Bombed
Mood: KO'd

Fighting Style: Changquan (Long Fist)
Favorite Stance: High Tiger
Weapon of Choice: Butterfly Swords
Weakness: Mortality
Drug of choice: Video Games

Favorite Book: American Psycho
Favorite Movies: Matrix, Fight Club, American Beauty, American Psycho...too many to list
Favorite Writer: Joe Rogan

Currently Playing:
Xbox 360: Rock Band
PS3: Pain
Wii: Wii Fit
DS: Etrian Odyssey
PSP: Beats

Favorite Genres:
- Rhythm
- 3rd Person Shooter
- Action/Adventure
- Racing

Systems I Own:
- SEGA Mega Drive II
- SEGA Dreamcast
- Xbox
- Xbox 360
- Nintendo GameBoy
- Nintendo GameBoy SP
- Nintendo DS
- Nintendo 64
- Nintendo GameCube
- Nintendo Wii
- Playstation
- Playstation 2
- Playstation 3

Favorite Games:
- 1 - Super Smash Bros. Melee (GC)
- 2 - Bust-A-Groove (PSX)
- 3 - Stepmania (PC)
- 4 - Guitar Hero Series (PS2/360)
- 5 - Puzzle Quest (PSP)
- 6 - Wario Ware Inc. (DS)
- 7 - Tony Hawk's Pro Skater Series (PS1/PS2/PSP/Xbox/360)
- 8 - Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (Xbox/PC)
- 9 - Super Mario 64 (N64, Wii)
- 10 - Monkey Island Series (Amiga/PC/DS)
Just not in the top 10: WWF Smackdown Series (PSX/PS2), Guitaroo Man (PS2), Oblivion (360), Phoenix Wright (DS), Burnout 3: Takedown (Xbox)

Things That I Hate
- Hating things
- Release Dates (Games, movies, hardware, software)
- Waiting
- Every other driver on the road
Player Profile
Follow me:
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Following (3)  

I felt good today. Had a nice relaxing day. No stress. No worries. Just a PSP and my thumbs.

Then, the snowball starts rolling. Oh, what's that? The WWW is calling? I'm coming! Wait right where you are, i'll be there in a sec!

So off we go. I logged in to the lair of hardcore nerdography that is Dtoid today to check up on this wonderful world of gaming, as per usual. Then suddenly, from nowhere, the 'toid is gunning for my manhood! What gives?

My pride took a big hit with the force of a nice sponsored ad.

Fast Size Penis Enlargement!

It took time. A few seconds maybe. Then the pain. The agony of the shame.

Wow, what a great way to kick my confidence! I have enough trouble finding women as a hermit-like hardcore gamer, who sits inside for 72 hour funfests of Puzzle Quest and Bust-A-Groove. The last thing I need is a reminder that IF I ever do find a girl willing enough to let me at least show her my penis, she might just laugh at it.

That would hurt, and as we all know, gamers are worthless little nerds who hate pain so much they cut off all social interaction completely. Except Myface...or Spacebook (but only because those sites are l33t obviously) So taking a full force chair shot like this took some time to comprehend.

"But don't worry, she's just being should do something about that."

Destructoid, I though you loved me?!?


(Yes, this is my first post, no i'm not a spammer or an idiot, i'm just cleaning the thoughts out of my head.)

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Living the dream since March 16, 2006

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