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About Me

River City Retro
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Kirby's Dream Land 2

Kirby's Dream Land

What Final Fantasy used to sound like

NES conquers the world in 25 years

River City Ransom

Guilty Gear's Metal Meltdown

Time Slaughter

Alien Wars 4: How to make a proper X-COM Sequel

Alien Wars 3: How the X-COM series fell from grace

Alien Wars 2: From the depths they came

Alien Wars 1: UFO Done Properly

UFO: Enemy Unknown

Ten Games that love other games

Final Fantasy 6

Tom & Jerry

Sin... just sin

Blood... just blood

Eight Games Lost in Translation

A Gamer's Diet
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Apple Pie (It's my birthday)

Ratatouille

Spaghetti Bolognaise

Monthly Musing
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Aaamaazing: Mortal Kombat

Groundhog Day: BlazBlue

E for Effort: Becoming a World Warrior + Interview with a tournament player

Something about sex: Ten gaming couples that either should or should not do it

My Expertise: A Moustached Hero

The Future: Professional gaming

River City Ramblings
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The Starcraft 2 beta and what it means to me

New Super Mario Brothers Wii: My first impressions

Biography
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Who am I you ask? Well I guess my story starts some time around the early eighties. As my apartment had strangely gotten a lot smaller over the last months, I thought it would be a good idea to redecorate it. I was leaning back in my sofa, going through the new Ikea catalog when I was suddenly hit by a massive earthquake. As much as I tried to hold my ground, I was propelled head first into that strange tunnel at my front door. I had been wondering where that leads but never had the courage to check it out.

After a long and bumpy ride, I finally stuck my head out the other end and saw daylight. Before I had a chance to adjust to my new environment, a big man wearing some kind of a lab coat and face mask grabbed hold of me. He was a despicable man really. Not only did he cut my food supply line, he also held me upside down in the air and slapped me right on the butt! What did I ever do to him?! Just when I was about to stick it to him, my attention was averted to this tired looking lady lying on a bed nearby.

It was very strange. Do you know that feeling when you meet somebody for the first time, yet you feel like you have known each other all along? I had this feeling when I saw her. That's when it occurred to me. This woman must be my landlady and I had been neglecting my rent for a few months after all. I could understand that she was upset but still... She had no right to turn me over to that sadistic bull in his white coat! I thought that me and her were going to have a long and personal conversation but right now, I just wanted to take a shower. That tunnel I had just been through wasn't all that clean after all.

Fortunately this other lady dressed in white was a lot nicer than her butt-slapping friend. She most kindly helped me clean myself and then handed me some warm, although not very fashionable garments. She carried me over to my landlady and I prepared to negotiate the rent but instead, my landlady threw me a warm smile and pressed me against her breast so lovingly that I melted like snow to the sun. She and her equally loving husband took me to their home where they had a room prepared with a bed in exactly my size and all kinds of lovely little things to play with. It's like they had been planning to take me in all along.

I didn't quite understand the strange language both of them spoke but yet I figured out that her name was Mom and crying meant "Food please", "Hug me" and "Clean me" all at the same time. The temperature wasn't as constant as my previous home but still, this was some service! Anyway, I would wander around this place for the time being while gradually learning to speak their language. It would take seven years before I really found out what my purpose here was.

One fine morning, Mom brought me to a supermarket and I saw a little mustached guy jumping around on a TV. That was my first encounter with the Nintendo Entertainment System! This thing blew my mind in so many ways! I had heard of princesses being kidnapped by dragons before but where's the prince to save her? No, there is no prince! This time it's a fat Italian plumber with a mustache who gets to be the hero! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! Power to the common man! Not only that but rather than simply hear his tale, I could actually help him in his quest. Though Mom seemed quite unimpressed, I knew I had witnessed a miracle and it would leave a mark on my life for years to come.

I'd often get into fights with Mom after that. She wanted me to go outside and play with my friends but what did she know? After all, all of my friends were living in similar warm nests, receiving the same service from two other persons who were somehow all named Mom and Dad. No, my purpose in life was bigger than that. As much fun as playing with my friends was, If I did that then who would save princess Peach, liberate the kingdom of Hyrule and smite the evil king Dedede? I just couldn't ignore the sorrow of the weak!

It wasn't until another seven years or so that I would see what a fool I had been. Up until now, I had been carrying the weight of the world on my own shoulders while completely ignoring the help others could have offered. I was determined to never close my eyes to the value of friendship again! Especially in these dark times. I was barely finished helping Dr. Freeman escape the resonance cascade alive when bands of terrorists attacked and dragged his scientist colleagues off to cs_assault. This was too much for just me to handle. This time I needed help!

Anyone who doesn't believe in the kindness of strangers is a moron. I mean sure, strangers aren't always nice. I've been told that I SuX0rz and have been called a n00b a million times but even then, it's worth it. As it so happens, it were these very strangers that padded me on the back and reassuringly shouted "Lock and Load!" before we stormed the big garage and got every single scientist out while making a fair buck in the process. Unfortunately our happiness was short lived as a new batch of terrorists arrived and we were right back where we started. Rather than sigh over the shortness of our victory, we bought ourselves a new pack of heavy guns and rushed in once more. No matter how many times the terrorists came back, we'd bring them to justice!

Time went on and the terrorists got more and more violent. Now they didn't only take hostages any more but also planted bombs and tried to assassinate seemingly random VIPs. Our combined efforts were no longer enough. We needed more coordination. We needed a plan! We had to Look at the map and devise a clever strategy. As much as I tried this, people were joining and leaving our counter-terrorist squad with every tick of the clock. Some of them even switched sides to join the terrorists. I engaged in conversation with several of the better fighters. We decided to join together regularly and learn how to fight as one. You could even go as far as to call us a counter-strike clan! For years we battled the forces of evil and shed much blood until I finally left the front as I heard of another land in need.

So many years ago I had liberated the town of Tristram from Diablo, the lord of terror. The hero I helped out at the time had drilled the dark lord's soul stone right into his own forehead. What an idiot! Needless to say, Diablo soon overpowered this weak excuse for a savior and continued to live on, inhabiting the former hero's body. "Man", I thought. "I've gone through all of this before, I'm not doing it again or at least... Not alone!" Fortunately my plea for help didn't leave me waiting as several friends showed up and we entered a new clan to smite that demon once and for all! After taking care of business in the chaos sanctuary, laying waste to Baal, the lord of destruction and even single handedly obliterating several acres of murderous cows, it was time to put my swords and bows to rest once more.

Since that time, my clan based activity has settled down and I remain to fight on the side of good with smaller bands of friends while every now and then fondly remembering those good old days. Most of all, I tend to leave the real action up to others as I watch from the sidelines. Especially a Korean man named Jaedong shows particular excellence in leading the Zerg to victory against the evil Protoss at general Bisu's command and admiral Flash' corrupted Terran whom I wish all to be infested for greater good.

I thank you for taking the time to read about my life. Perhaps our paths may once cross in the endless online battlefields and until then, luck be with you.

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Following (10)

New Super Mario Brothers Wii: My first impressions Metallion | 10:11 PM on 12.16.2009 5 comments

The DS being the only Nintendo console I owned since the SNES has caused me to pass up on a lot of first party gems. The original Super Mario Brothers was what really got me into gaming and will remain one of my main favourites for all time. Needless to say I got excited like a small child when New Super Mario Brothers for the DS was announced but when I finally played it, those feelings of excitement got quite diminished. Don't get me wrong here, NSMB is by no means a bad game but to me it always felt like a step back from Super Mario World rather than a step forward. My favourite in the series was always Super Mario Brothers 3 for it's abundance of well designed costumes and colourful themed worlds. With the arrival of Super Mario World most of those costumes and themed worlds were lost but instead we got amazingly fluent controls, Yoshi, a non linear overworld full of secrets and of course, the ability to juggle koopa shells. :) Then we got Yoshi's Island and Super Princess Peach which both most creatively reinvented SMB's gameplay. They're all perfect examples of how a game can be similar enough to feel familiar but yet be different enough to be refreshing. New Super Mario Brothers for the DS came kind of short in that last part. Sure it brought over the butt stomp and triple jump from Super Mario 64 but the controls just didn't feel quite as fluent as in Super Mario World and the new costumes were simply awful. Being able to turn giant is way overdone and koopa Mario was both rare and not very useful. Finally I found the game so easy that I soon promised myself never to use the item container in order to at least get somewhat of a challenge out of it. Once again, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed New Super Mario Bros a great deal but I just think it didn't bring enough new things to the table. As I stated earlier I don't have a Wii myself but my girlfriend does and since we're about to move in together, I get to spend a lot more quality time with her nintendo. We bought New Super Mario Brothers Wii the other day and I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised. After putting a couple of hours into it I've made it to world four and so far the experience has been exquisite. Unfortunately we're still waiting for a second Wii-mote to arrive so until now I've only been able to judge the single player campaign. It looks like Miyamoto really learnt from his last side scrolling Mario game. The difficulty's been upped a notch and the new costumes are great. I have to admit that the propeller hat didn't quite win me over as easily as the cape or raccoon suit did back in the day but after using it enough, I can confidently say that I've grown to like it. When reading about it, the ice flower looked a bit too similar to the fire flower but when actually having wielded it, I can tell that a lot of thought has been put into it and its behaviour feels sufficiently different from its fiery older brother. Finally the penguin suit feels like what the koopa suit should have been. Sliding around in the koopa shell or on the ice as penguin Mario is just so much fun. The problem with koopa Mario was that this slide happened automatically when running and was often getting in the way more than anything else. The penguin suit beautifully fixes this by requiring you to press down to initiate the slide, adding in the ice flower's powers and a swimming mechanic that reminds me a bit of Super Mario Brothers 3's frog suit. You could say that having so many features overpowers our penguin friend but I feel like it makes it that little extra special. If you played Super Mario 3 then you probably remember how you felt when you finally got your hands on that Tanuki suit that enabled you to turn into stone right? Enemies that seemed invincible before now trembled at your Tanuki feet and you'd do everything you can to keep this power as long as you possibly can. The penguin suit isn't quite as rare as the Tanuki suit but still it brings back a bit of the same feeling and I welcome that. When we look at today's console wars, Nintendo has one powerful weapon that both Sony and Microsoft lack. That weapon is nostalgia. Unlike today's other two major players, big N has been there since the beginning and they know it well. Ever since the release of the Gamecube many first party titles have been overflowing with nudges to the good old days and this one is no exception. Both fans of Super Mario Brothers 3 and Super Mario World will find so many references to their beloved games that they just can't help but play through it with a deep grin firmly edges on their faces. As if bringing back the seven koopa kids wasn't enough, when Kamek the magikoopa showed up at the boss fight and sprinkled the stage with his rainbow coloured magic, his spell not only caused the stage to transform but also my face to put up a big nostalgic smile. It feels like I can't say enough good things about this game but yet there're a few things that don't sit well with me. For one there's the ridiculous title. Sure New Super Mario Brothers might be a fitting title today but what will my children say when I have them in ten years or so? Won't be quite so new any more now would it? Mario has always been so timeless so why slap such a time bound and uncreative title onto it? What happened to the old days when we got Super Mario Brothers for the NES, Super Mario Land for the Game Boy and Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo? I understand they want to stress the return to the roots by calling it Brothers again and that adding a 4 would be just as uncreative but still, what's wrong with adding a subtitle? Even something simple like Super Mario Brothers Wii: Peach' Birthday would have sounded better in my opinion. The other thing is the motion controller. Sure it was a cool gimmick at first and these controls can make for a great experience when executed well in certain types of games but please Nintendo, keep them where they belong. The DS is much the same. While many games like Super Princess Peach make brilliant use of the touch screen, others can completely break themselves by forcing it in. I'm looking at you, Smackdown Vs. Raw 2009! Though not even way in sight of Smackdown's unplayability, having to nudge the controller up to perform a spin jump kind of bugs me. It doesn't happen often enough to be game breaking but it has happened more than once that I unwillingly move the controller in a tense moment and completely screw things up by spin jumping into an enemy. In conclusion, New Super Mario Brothers Wii fixes everything that was wrong with its DS predecessor and feels like a perfect addition to the side scrolling Super Mario series. I've never been a fan of Super Mario 64 but I respect the people who are and I think it's great how Nintendo is now developing both the old school side scrollers and the new 3d platformers side by side. Now let's hope that this project needlemouse teaser means that Sega is following the example and giving us a brand new side scrolling Sonic. Attached photos: