Brutal Legend is an awe inspiring game, but unfortunately it's a strategy game so I'm going to stay right here, tap my foot on the floor in a rhythmic manner while periodically checking my irish wrist watch and wait for you to finish up with whatever it is that you're doing. Still grinding for loot and sniping people for that level up medal? That's cool, I'll wait. Contemplating moral dilemmas and rescuing damsels in distress? I can dig it. All right, all finished up and ready to try something different? Come fly with me.

So, here we are, in the land of Brutal Legend. That huge thing behind you is our stage, it's important and we should protect it. The Two towers on your left and your right are our merch booths; from them we can recruit talent. Lets start simple and recruit some Headbangers, Razor Girls and a Thundergod, he’s super low bass will heal everyone around him and he’s in a band too, Motorhead. While they’re building lets fly over to that giant winged leech sticking out of the ground.

How do you like flying? Liberating, I know. We can fly anywhere we want. See that huge mansion over there, that's Ophelia’s stage, let have a look at what she's up to. I see she's got some grave diggers over there. Lets melt their faces with a guitar solo. Ha! She won't be digging anything with those guys anymore, but let’s not linger here; I think she's doing the same thing to our Razor Girls.

All right, now that we have driven this fan leech of the ground we can build another merch booth, and lets build another little army while were at it. Or should we upgrade our stage and start building heavier units? I think for now we can really do with 2 armies since there are more fan leeches out there which need to become merch booths. Were going to send the first group the lonely fan leech and park the second group not too far from where Offa, that’s what I like to call her, is building her merch booth. Lets not attack just yet, lets wait for the first group to finish up with the leech and then join forces.

Why don't you go over there and help them with the leech? You can get one of the razor girls to jump on your shoulders and shoot her more powerful ammunition. While you do that, I'm going to scout and see what kind of an army Offa’s got over there. Looks like she’s got some Brides which slow everything down, I suggest we take those out first and then proceed to eliminate everything else. I'll drive through their ranks with the Thunderdog and stun everyone, and you should play the Battle Cry solo, soldiers like that and hit harder after they hear it. That should give us quite an advantage in this battle. Feel free to join in and hit someone with your axe or your ax, maybe double team with the Headbangers, make yourself useful.



I can see some frustration in your eyes, so lets pause the game for a second. This is it, my friend. This map is your playground and you are in control. I understand it's a lot to control: guitar solos, axe combos, troop commands, merch booths and recourse management, stage upgrades, scouting, picking your battles and of course the troops themselves. And then there's your opponent who has a brain, which usually works, and the same buttons as you. But don't give up just yet, you know that feeling that you get when you win an online match? You haven't felt anything until you've taken down a stage.

What sets this game apart from every other real time strategy game is transparency. You are the all seeing eye and the far reaching hand, which means you can not only see everything on the map, but you can also land on the ground and kill something with your bare hand at any time you desire. You've never played a game like this so treat it like that, just like you treated Left 4 Dead when you found out that you have to work with your friends to survive. Some of your skills which you have acquired in your gaming career might be applicable here, but most of them won't. So, don't be all fancy just yet, you barely know how to walk upright. You'll be flying soon.

P.S. I threw this together in about an hour just to share with you, the Destructoid Community, my love for this AMAZING game. This game is my Multiplayer Earthbound, interpret this in any way you want.