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MeanderBot avatar 11:28 PM on 07.05.2012  (server time)
Behind Closed Doors: Bullet Billions (Final)

The Mushroom Kingdom is a strange place, least of which is its name. There are so many inexplicable occurrences. Sentient plants living in pipes? Ambulatory cacti? Fucking DINOSUARS?! SHIT'S CRAZY! And that's just the tip of the iceberg (did I mention there are sapient snowmen?). While I could do a whole series on the idea of revealing the insanity of the Mushroom Kingdom (patent pending!), for now I'll have to settle with The Bullet Bills. Who are they? Where do they come from? Do they have regrets? Dreams? Fears? Maybe they're just content flying endlessly through the air. I sure as hell would be. So before I ramble off into discussing the supernatural physics behind Bill's perplexing perpetual flight, I'll start with something easy: their place of origin. Before becoming the fantastic flyers they are best known as, they start as humble, inert lumps of metal. And what better to understand this lonely creature then the enigmatic Shy Guy? Or maybe Bowser is just a prick and enjoys giving Shy Guys menial, soul crushing jobs. Regardless, the true nature of this intrepid being shall never be truly understood, but it's a pleasing mental exercise. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go work on my dissertation on the migration patterns of Parakoopas.

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