GTA4 is the biggest release of the year for Xbox 360 and PS3, but thanks to much matlockery on my part I have discovered that it will soon™ be available on Wii in the family friendly form of Wii Theft Auto.

GTA has always been about climbing your way up the criminal ladder; you start with a few car thefts for some wannabe gangster, maybe become a gun for hire but you will eventually work your way up the food chain until you’re the big enchilada giving out the orders to every mobster in town.

But does GTA have to be that way?
Wii Theft Auto with reign in a new era for GTA games; less controversy, more party games and better family values!



No longer will you be a cold killer devoid of any morality but now you get to play a much more unique and meaningful character; Nicoló Bellico, an optimistic Italian plumber who has come to Liberty City in search of his missing wife Peggy Peach.



No longer do you have to purchase a gun and participate in illegal activities to survive, instead you will embark on a fascinating journey using only your superior plumbing skills and you astonishing acrobatic abilities to achieve your goals.



You will still meet many interesting and outlandish characters on your journey; however the language may not be as crude and vulgar as previous titles.



Multiplayer has also been revamped, now offering over 50 pick-up-and-play mini games which include such classics as:

Nicoló Golf


Super Nicoló Bellico Melee


Nicoló Kart


All this and more coming to your Nintendo Wii soon™.

Warning: The above post may contain unprecedented amounts of bullshit.