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The Chronicles of Mazmar - Destructoid




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I am Mazmar.


I don't play by the rules.
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Mazmar
10:18 PM on 08.25.2010



Chief was totally on my ass today. I don't see what he's so pissed about... something about shooting this pervert up with bullets. He knows I don't play by the rules!

Now as some kind of punishment Chief is making me deal with some ridiculous Chiptunes podcast by Jim Sterling's little brother. What the hell is a chiptune anyway? According to this little punk "some artists even mix in vocals and real instruments". Well gee isn't that amazing... a genre that can occasionally use real instruments? Mazmar remembers when playing an instrument was a requirement for music... none of these beavers runnin' around trying to squeak out a tune. I mean it's just a beaver what do you expect? Augh....

So I scared the shit out of some old lady today. Screaming "OH MY GOD THE LIZARDMAN IS OUT"... freakin' sexist bitch. It's as if they think that if you're not a lizardwoman you're just out on the town getting ready for a good round of rapes. I opened my mouth to give her a good speaking to and she just ended up screaming more... saying "OH GOD HE'S GOING TO EAT ME". Yeah... she wishes. I'm sick and tired of these constantly perverse old ladies in this city.... but I showed her what's what. For I am Mazmar.

Anyway I hear this punishment was the idea of Mayor Be. God I'm sick of that corrupt asshole and his attempts to reach out to the cesspool voting demographics in this city. The Mayor's even worse than the scum I take out in this city on a daily basis.

Good luck trying to get me to help this Chiptunes chump though... cause I'm not just any regular old lizardetective... I am Mazmar.

And I don't play by the rules.
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