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3:22 AM on 06.27.2008

Am I The Only One...

...who finds all this image dissecting being done by Diablo III fans to be a little depressing? Case in point: Blizzard just launched their fifth splash screen, and this time it shows the eyes, as well as what looks like the top of a helmet or crown or whatever the hell you wanna call it. Observe:



Now I'm glad we're all in agreement with our desire to see a new Diablo, but I read some of the theories that are being thrown about, and I just get... sad. Case in point: One of the Diablo fansites (I'm not saying which one) concludes that it must be a sign of Diablo III's impending announcement because the new image is called "harbinger", and Diablo was once labeled as "The harbinger of our return" in a cinematic in Diablo Deuce.

...you serious?

Another wonderful little theory I've heard on a few message boards is that "the runes form a pentagram, man!" Sure. A half-assed, crooked pentagram, but you technically would have a pentagram.

But what really just drove me up the wall -- what drove me to just shake my head and wish that half of these people -- just half -- went into crime scene investigation... was this argument that wound up going for NINE PAGES on one message board:



...fucking sigh.

Now, I think it's a foregone conclusion that we're going to see Diablo 3. But you know... while I, as a livelong gamer, would love to see D3 (not the Mighty Ducks), there is that little part of me that looks at the obsession over a new Diablo and I can't help but kind of hope it's not Diablo 3 they're announcing this weekend.

I do have one question for everybody, though: What the hell does a purple penguin have to do with any of this?!   read


4:59 PM on 05.01.2008

8 Reasons Not to Buy GTA IV for your child



Hmm. I didn't even have to go into the actual game.

You can read my full explanation HERE (shameless plug), but I'll summarize: Look at the box. If the game you want to buy your kids is named after a felony, and brandishes at least four firearms -- you may want to look elsewhere for your ten year-old.   read


5:11 PM on 04.27.2008

njyskora! A winner is you!

For those of you unaware of what the hell I'm talking about, njyskora just won HIMself (I've got 'tang on the brain) copies of Mario Kart Wii, Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Super Mario Galaxy from my website (shameless plug). HE won because she's better than you... and HIS post number was what came up first on random.org.

Anyways, as alluded to in the link, my site's next contest will start in early May and run right up to the end of the month of May. Congratulations -- you now know more about the next contest than anybody else.

Congrats again, njyskora.   read


7:58 AM on 04.09.2008

Who Wants Mario Kart Wii, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and Super Mario Galaxy?



So here's the deal, people: My website (with fellow D'toider PacoDG) BingeGamer.net is holding a contest to celebrate the upcoming release of Mario Kart Wii. If the big ass picture didn't give it away, we're giving away Mario Kart Wii, Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Super Mario Galaxy to one lucky summabitch.

So how do you enter? Simple enough: Leave a comment on the contest page telling us what your favorite Mario game is, and why you love it.

We'll announce the winner on April 27th, and you'll have three of the best games on Nintendo Wii.   read


2:21 AM on 03.11.2008

Iron Chef America Debut Trailer is... somethin'...



As we are all only too aware, yesterday we learned that Iron Chef America would grace our Nintendo Wii and DS. But now, in addition to the glorious press release we now have a debut video that is so epic in it's win that we, mere mortals, can only hope to submit once the game finds store shelves. Allez Cuisine, motherfuckers!

[embed]74987:9028[/embed]

...okay, all joking aside, that trailer is pretty damn awful. But don't say that to Mark Dacoscas' face because frankly...



...he will fuck you up.   read


1:31 PM on 02.26.2008

Capcom Sued by "Dawn of the Dead" Producers



MKR Group, the production company that owns the rights to the "Dawn of the Dead" films, is suing Capcom for copyright infringement. MKR Group alleges that "Dead Rising", a game that has you running around a giant mall hacking, slashing, and otherwise dispatching neverending hordes of the undead, is essentially a video game version of "Dawn of the Dead", which has a group of human survivors running around a giant mall while hacking, slashing and otherwise dispatching neverending hordes of the undead.

I don't see any similarity whatsoever.

MKR says it filed the complaint after talks with Capcom over the issue failed. Earlier this month, Capcom filed a case against the Dawn of the Dead producers in a California federal court, seeking an injunction to prevent MKR from suing Capcom for this very thing.

The complaint filed by MKR in a U.S. District Court claims that "both works are dark comedies" in which "absurdly groqesque 'kill scenes' provide unexpected comedic relief."

Um... duh? This really seems like an open and shut case that should go MKR Group's way. I'm not somebody who roots against the video game industry, but when you have to put a disclaimer on your jewel case that reminds consumers that your game is NOT based on Dawn of the Dead, you have a problem.

via Binge Gamer   read


4:55 PM on 01.02.2008

STFU. You're not getting a refund.



Hi, boys and girls. It's been a while since I've last graced Destructoid, and I have to say... lookin' sharp. I'm liking what I see, and I hope to see more. Now, to business:

Those of you who are bitching about Xbox LIVE being up and down for the past week are starting to get on my last damn nerve. Now, I get that you have a right to bitch about the lousy service because you're a paying customer, but you know... some of you are demanding a refund for time lost.

You fickle, cheap bastards. You're throwing a fit over 96 cents. Not even the WoW maggots are that pathetic. Sure, they'll run to the Blizzard message boards and threaten to quit if they experience a single day of lag, but not often do they demand refunds.

Now I know you people at D'toid are smarter than this. Wiser than this. More practical and laid back than this... but there are people out there who feel they are owed monetary compensation for the loss of a week of bugging the shit out of me with their whiny, nasally, incessant womanizing homphobic racism.

*gasp, gasp...*

I feel better.   read


11:26 PM on 10.31.2007

There Will Be A Bountiful Feast! (MP's Halloween recap)



Sometimes being the first born has its benefits. Take for example this very night, Halloween. I've reached the age where I feel that dressing up and going from house to house, demanding candy from the neighbors is... well, behind me.

However, I do have a younger brother. Sure, he's only a year younger than I, but due to the fact that he is autistic, he has the mindset of a four year-old... which makes him candy-retrieving elidgable. So, much to my shigrin, my mom and my younger brother get all dressed up and do their yearly chocolate rounds (they dressed up as pirates this year, which made me die a little on the inside), bringing back all the goodies and dumping them on the table to be sorted through. What makes this awesome is that neither my mother or my younger brother are very much into chocolates and sweets.

In short, ladies and gentlemen, I have my own annual candy delivery service. As I type this there is a mound of Hersheys, 3 Musketeers, M&Ms (Peanut and normal), WarHeads, Jolly Ranchers, Crunch, Snickers, Milky Way, Twix, Sweet Tarts, and even Fruit Roll-Ups. Hell, there was even a house giving away cooked hot dogs. HOT DOGS!

Of course, there are always one or two families who think they're saving the world by giving out apples and orange slices instead of the goods. If you are one of these people, I have a word for you: Communist. I know, it may sound a bit extreme, but America was founded on gluttony. We have a holiday where all we do is drink beer, watch football and eat food stuffed with other food! Get with the program, dammit!

...unless the orange slices are filled with custard. Then I'll look past it, even if I won't eat it. Yuck.

I will admit that a part of me does miss the days of innocence, where I would dress up in a really cheap Power Rangers costume (you know, with the really cheap masks that cut into your forehead) and walk from door to door with my grandma asking for candy. Yeah, I tricked and/or treated during the time before parents went insane and bussed their kids from house to house. All we were given were flashlights for cars to see us, and crosses in case Satan tried to eat our souls or something.

Nowadays I have cars pulling into my driveway, and kids get out to ask for candy. If that wasn't bad enough, now parents are starting to dress up again. It's all good and fun if you wanna dress up as the sexy nurse for an adults-only Halloween party. Go for it. I actually encourage that kind of behavior. But... not with the kids. That's where it starts drifting into creepiness. Just get in a coat (since it's cold, usually) and some slacks, lead your kids to the driveway, let them ask for the candy, and then pilfer their cache when you get home.

Either way, whether you went trick-or-treating, passed out candy, went to a party, or did what we cool uber-nerds did and saw Night of the Living Dead at Showcase... I hope you had a safe and happy Halloween. But it's November now, so get your Christmas shit ready.   read


1:22 PM on 10.21.2007

I think I may have pissed off the entire internet



I didn't know Halo fans were so damn adment about their shooter, I tell you. I had written this piece for my website, 1PStart, that dealt with certain groups of people that I felt brought down the game as a whole. It was a tongue-and-cheek affair, but it still found some popularity.

By some popularity, I mean "I've gone and pissed just about everyone off". Now, the response has actually been about 50/50, but that 50% who hate it... yeah, they've left some colorful messages. Mostly pretaining to me being a ten-year-old girl who apparently gets an achy vagina when I play Halo 3 online. Who'd have thought?

Either way, give it a read if you want, then you can be one of the cool kids and tell me how much of a big, blubbering vagina I am and how I have no game and whatnot.   read


10:38 PM on 09.27.2007

BRIBERY! THEIVERY! TREACHERY!



So get this shit, dudes and dames. You know how publishers will send reviewers and journalists tons of swag along with the game that's supposed to be reviewed? If not, I assure you -- they do. They usually wind up being used as giveaway prizes. However, one guy wasn't particularly pleased with his grab [duffel] bag of goodies.

Dean Takahashi of the San Jose Mercury News in his video podcast accused Microsoft of out-and-out bribery. In response to such an outrageous insult to his journalistic integrity, Takahashi has vowed to return the entire bag to Microsoft.

...I've heard of looking a gift horse in the mouth, but this is the first time I think I've seen someone kick it in the teeth.

This is absolutely ridiculous. First of all, I don't think it can be a "bribe" if they don't, you know, state any terms. But more than that, what a douche bag move by Takahashi. Return it? Gizmodo, Joystiq, Kotaku and a dozen other sites received the same damn package. They took it, and either gave it to their readers or are currently in the process of doing just that.

..except Gizmodo. They threw it off a porch, or something.

What do y'all think? Is this Microsoft trying to bribe people into giving Halo 3 a good review? Or is this just them going all out on the swag bag?

Video

Digg if you love me.   read


11:21 AM on 09.21.2007

God told me to write a blog...



...and here it is. Now that I have appeased God, I'mma go watch Rambo: First Blood Part II.

Here's a question for you all, however -- if you were writing a paper for your Political Science class, and were focusing on how Politicians were trying to censor or outright ban certain games from being sold, what would be a good example to include? I'm being serious -- that's what I'm spending my Friday on.   read


10:40 PM on 09.15.2007

Colin McRae: R.I.P. 1968-2007

It brings me great sadness to announce to y'all that Colin McRae, former World Rally Champion best known by us gamers for his Colin McRae Rally series of racing titles from Codemasters, has died at the age of 39.

While the bodies have yet to be identified, it is widely believed that McRae, his son, and two others were killed when McRae's helicopter crashed near his home in Jerviswood, Lanark.

Telegraph   read





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