Many people have been asking me for my blog secrets. The time has come to reveal how I consistently write award-winning blog after blog -- and so is yours!
STEP 1: FIND A GOOD SOURCE
The first secret is finding a good blog to copy and paste from. Remember, you're not a professional yet, so it would be irresponsible to make up your own amateur words. Textbooks copy and paste all the time; it's called scholarship.
For today's lesson, I'm using a timely and informative article from
alliwantforxmasisaps3. It's best to stick with
official sources; you can tell a source is official when the source name has the name of a console in it (because otherwise it would be against
the law, duh!). Here's the original post:
Here's just a few facts about the power of the Playstation 3:
1. Imagine gluing a Playstation 1 to a Playstation 2. Now double that amount of power. Now subtract the power of a Super Nintendo and you have a rough estimate of how powerful this thing is.
2. Playstation 3 is heavier than both an Xbox 360 and a Ninendo Wii. That is because it has more computer chips inside, which of course means it's more powerful.
3. Due do polymicroprocessors, Playstation 3 is the first system powerful enough to deliver 4-D graphics.
4. Sony successfully lobbied for an amendment to the constitution that allowed this much power, which the founding fathers feared would strengthen witches' magic.
5. Playstation 3 is so powerful that Sony officially announced it is more powerful than what Playstation 4 will be.
6. NASA replaced Kenedy Space Center with two Playstation 3s. It's not that a single Playstation 3 couldn't handle the job, it's just that they also wanted to watch Talladega Nights while working.
7. Playstation 3 has the processing power to make it appear as if animals or babies were talking. Until now, this awesome technology has only been available to movies, tv commercials and the super rich.
8. AWESOME GRAPHICS!
9. Beating a hooker in Grand Theft Auto on a Playstation 3 looks more realistic than beating a hooker in real life.
10. This is the first piece of equipment that Tim Allen officially declared "enough power."
STEP 2: FIND YOUR VOICE
Since this is your blog, you have to find your own voice. You can't just copy someone's words down, because that's also against
the law. You'll never see a website doing this, and you shouldn't either.
The way I find my voice is by using
Google Translate. It's sort of like a thesaurus (the word-book, not the
dinosaur) except that you can also sound educated by using foreign languages. Each language has a tone, so pick a combination to suit your article. To achieve the proper tone here I translated the article into French, which is a very
elite-sounding language, then from French into German, which is a very
efficient and
angry language, and then back into English, which is the official language. I'm sure you'll agree that the result is uniquely my own:
Here are some facts about the performance of the PlayStation 3:
1st Thinking, a PlayStation 1 with the PlayStation 2 Now amount twice as high as the power. Now, the money and a Super Nintendo, that you have a rough estimate, in what way this thing is powerful.
2nd PlayStation 3 will be difficult for both the Xbox 360 and a Ninendo Wii. This is because they are no longer inside chips, which means, of course, that it is faster.
3rd Because not polymicroprocessors, Play Station 3 is the first system powerful enough to 4-D graphics.
4th Sony was an amendment to the Constitution, this great power, the fear was that the founding fathers would witch magic.
5th PlayStation 3 is so powerful that Sony officially announced that he is stronger than what Playstation 4.
6th NASA solved Kenedy Space Center with two PlayStation 3s. There is not only a PlayStation 3 is not working, it's just that they also see Talladega Nights at work.
7th PlayStation 3 has the processing power to do so, as if the animals or babies were talking about. So far, this impressive technology is not for the movies, television, advertising and the good enough.
8th GRAPHICS AWESOME!
9th Battu a hooker in Grand Theft Auto on PlayStation 3 seems realistic, proposed a hooker in real life.
10th It is the first piece of equipment Tim Allen, officially as "fairly as possible."
STEP 3: ??????
U c whut i did thar? More memes = more better. Period. You can find memes at
forechan. What is a meme? That's a good question!
STEP 4: PUBLISH
It's time to push your baby out into the world, but make sure you don't also unintentionally expel a bloody placenta sac. What I mean by that is that people here are very hard on typos and sich, so avoid using big words that are easily mispelled. Keep it simple, Einstein! Remember: you're writing for a global audience now. And the global audience is kinda dumb.
Also, watch
Butmac's community blog videos pt.1 and 2 for more tips and tricks. And remember: video > images > text -- no exceptions!
"very hard on typos and sich" it's spelled 'sutch' dummy.
shipero: we will have to agree to not agree.
Tips are good. Need more.
Don't + Suck = Awesome
Wii + Sucks = Horrible
Maxvest + Sarcasm = Win
@MaxVest
Fine, we'll put aside our differences... for now.
@blehman: I'm hard on spelling and grammer to! I think you mean sarchasm.
I have nothing constructive to state here :(
Heheeheheheheh.....You said hard on....
Wii don't suck!!!
Fan to the tastick max!
@BlindsideDork: I see you have been reading up on my tips and tricks for commenters!
I refuse to take your advice because I'm a rebel.
Pro tip: AltaVista Babelfish is much more efficient at getting you a totally cereal translation.
I think I will blog about this blog and how awesome it is.
Wiisucks.
@Necros: Real journalism isn't about taking shortcuts, even if it seems like nobody's getting hurt.
"Be sure to comment in your blogs, two to three times per each comment to you. That way you can be sure everyone knows exactly what you mean."
-butmac
NEEDS MOAR WIISUCKS
@blehman: I know, I'm sorry! The ratio isn't nearly high enough here. Butmac's suggestions are aspirational, though, so I'm working towards it.
I approve this blog post.
I think you've discovered how Wiisucks makes all of his posts...with multiple translations.