Times are tough, especially in the States. People are worried about inflation, about prices going up but income staying the same. They're looking for answers.
Not an artist's rendition, but carefully-plotted data.
Here is the answer:
We must move to a video games-based economy. Look at the following data:
1988
Average Cost of new house: $91,600
Average Monthly Rent: $420
Average Price for new car: $10,4000
1 gallon of gas: $0.91
Movie Ticket: $4.11
US Postage Stamp: $0.24
Dozen Eggs: $0.65
Average Console Video Game: $55
2008
Average Cost of new house: $205,000 (
+225%)
Average Monthly Rent: $900.00 (
+215%)
Average Price for new car: $28,400.00 (
+273%)
1 gallon of gas: $3.20 (
+351%)
Movie Ticket: $6.88 (
+167%)
US Postage Stamp: $0.41 (
+171%)
Dozen Eggs: $2.16 (
+332%)
Average Console Video Game: $55 (no change)
Clearly, the only inflation-proof currency in the United States is the noble video game. In fact, with more pixels than ever before at the same prices, today's video games represent the best hope for a stable economy.
Note the upward trend. This is science that means things are good.
In fact, if the truth be told, video games have not always been as stable as they are now. I've heard reports of voodoo economics at video game retailers in days past:
Phantasy Star IV: $80
FFIII: $80
International Superstar Soccer 64: $75
ChronoTrigger: $65.
Final Fantasy II: $60 - $70.
Metroid: $65
Pilotwings: $60
Mario Paint: $60
Super Mario 64: $60
Rambo: $50 (yes, but it was Rambo)
What say you? Under the traditional dollar-based economy, a new
NES Advantage would cost $120. Let us take the plunge into a new Gilded Era of video game economics where the money flows like water effects, and there is a console -- nay, three consoles -- in every entertainment center!
But would they destroy copies of games that are too worn down and reprint them?
Let's not be unreasonable here. I have a copy of Quest 64 in Very Good condition. That should be suffice, don't you think?
rolls around in money