First game: TI Invaders (Space Invaders knock-off) for the TI-99 "home computer". Either that or the Pac-Man built into the glass-top tables at Mr. Gatti's Pizza.
First console: NES
First world-altering game secret: JUSTIN BAILEY
First Arcade: Aladdin's Palace
First "mature" game: Leisure Suit Larry
First PC: 386SX 16 mHz w/40 MB HDD, Win 3.0, & 640x480 VGA baby!
First FPS: Wolfenstein 3D
First game mastered: Street Fighter II Turbo - Hyper Fighting (SNES)
First LAN deathmatch: Duke Nukem 3D
Great Game Reawakening: Living in an apartment with all sixth generation consoles and 3 gaming rigs.
New Systems: Wii, DS.
Somehow now owns: PS3
Randomly owns: SEGA Nomad, Game Gear, Genesis II, Sega CD
Cannot afford but is thinking about intercepting return RROD coffin: Xbox 360.
Currently playing: Rock Band, Zack & Wiki, Unreal Tournament III
Times are tough, especially in the States. People are worried about inflation, about prices going up but income staying the same. They're looking for answers.
Not an artist's rendition, but carefully-plotted data.
Here is the answer: We must move to a video games-based economy. Look at the following data:
Average Cost of new house: $91,600
Average Monthly Rent: $420
Average Price for new car: $10,4000
1 gallon of gas: $0.91
Movie Ticket: $4.11
US Postage Stamp: $0.24
Dozen Eggs: $0.65
Average Console Video Game: $55
Average Cost of new house: $205,000 (+225%)
Average Monthly Rent: $900.00 (+215%)
Average Price for new car: $28,400.00 (+273%)
1 gallon of gas: $3.20 (+351%)
Movie Ticket: $6.88 (+167%)
US Postage Stamp: $0.41 (+171%)
Dozen Eggs: $2.16 (+332%)
Average Console Video Game: $55 (no change)
Clearly, the only inflation-proof currency in the United States is the noble video game. In fact, with more pixels than ever before at the same prices, today's video games represent the best hope for a stable economy.
Note the upward trend. This is science that means things are good.
In fact, if the truth be told, video games have not always been as stable as they are now. I've heard reports of voodoo economics at video game retailers in days past:
What say you? Under the traditional dollar-based economy, a new NES Advantage would cost $120. Let us take the plunge into a new Gilded Era of video game economics where the money flows like water effects, and there is a console -- nay, three consoles -- in every entertainment center!