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Marioland avatar 4:14 PM on 08.04.2009
I suck at games: Rhythm is a sucker

Rocks bands, plastic organs, multicolored buttons that must be pressed in a "rhithmc" manner. I just suck at it.

The truth is that I never was fond of rhythm games in general, except for the ones like EBA and Rhythm Heaven. Otherwise, there's nothing for me in there.

The first time i saw the plastic guitar of the original Guitar Hero, I was like "COOOOOOL that looks easy". Alas, there is no way to make me push the right button at the right moment, especially when there's a lot going on on the screen (aka. the highest difficulties)

It' not that I can't remember buttons and corresponding actions assigned to them. Quite the contrary, In every game, there is a fucking action every time I press a button. In Super Mario for example, the A button makes Mario jump, in Half life 2, the E key makes your character pick up things etc. On the other side, In those rhythmic games, all you have to do is to follow on-screen instructions to press some colored buttons in order to listen to a f*cking song that I could simply buy on an online store and just listen to it on my MP3 player.

The worst is that I find that the actual rhythm of the song is irrelevant to what the game wants you to press. It makes me make mistakes and even panic trying to get thing back to normal.Alas, the game overs WAY too soon for me to get it right again. Sometimes, the sequence is so fucked up, that i can't even find the right keys to press. Just because they are doing the SAME FUCKING THING and I can't locate them since they serve no purpose different purpose, so to reach out to them. Especially with Beatmania, I can't even figure out what key to press next because of the mixed up layer.

I'm not saying that this kind of games are bad or anything. So many people who enjoy them can't be wrong. I also have friends who try hard to educate me so we can play together. Still, I suck in an unbelievable degree for all the above reasons and for every single other reason that I can't think of right now.

BTW despite of sucking unbelievably, I did the review of Rockband Unplugged on the gaming site I'm working. It was hell but I made it in time ;)

OH and I love karaoke! Lips and SingStar FTW. And, no. I won't post the video of me singing Madonna's Like A Virgin while drunk (unless Xbox Live comes to Greece)

 
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