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Community Discussion: Blog by Chris Carter | That one Mook: Alma - Or, me at my most masochisticDestructoid
That one Mook: Alma - Or, me at my most masochistic - Destructoid




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Meet the destructoid Team >>   Chris Carter
Chris Carter 's blog
★ destructoid | Reviews Director ★
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About


Listen to this as you read my profile

Chris (Magnalon) has been enjoying Destructoid avidly since 2008. He finally decided to take the next step, make an account, and start blogging in January of 2009. Now, he's staff!

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Twitter - @DtoidChris

I'm in my 20s, I'm married, and I've been playing games since I was 4. I still remember buying my own NES system at Sears and going home and playing Mario/Duck Hunt. Fast forward to the present, my wife and I now own a PS3, 360, Wii, and Wii U.

As far as contemporary systems go, I also own an iPhone 4 (which I game on very heavily - check out HookChamp), a 3DS XL, the Kinect, the PS Move, a PSP-2000, and a Playstation Vita. If I had to choose a system I had the "best times" with, it would be a two way tie between the Sega Dreamcast and Sony Playstation 2. My favorite game series is Mega Man Classic, but I own every Metal Gear, Devil May Cry, Zelda, Kingdom Hearts, Wario, Tony Hawk, main series Final Fantasy, and Resident Evil game ever released in the US (and a lot more), so it's a close call!

There are too many good games out to count now, but I'm always itching to play my backlog of old PS2 action titles. I'll play anything and everything action-adventure, so if you have a game in mind, drop me a line! I have strong opinions regarding the financial decisions of many publishers, but at the end of the day, I'm willing to give anything a chance; especially if it comes recommended by a community member.

Oh; and in 2012 I started contributing to Destructoid.

Currently backed Kickstarters:

Mighty No. 9

Hover

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Are you not satisfied?

Here is my story, from my humble beginnings as a c-blogger.

Here's an in-depth 10 things about me post that will enlighten you further.

Here's another in-depth 10 things about me post, when the community brought it back.

I was also interviewed.

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Carter's Quests (previously Magnalon's Quest):

2011 - Zelda
2012 - Resident Evil
2012 - Tony Hawk
2012 - Kingdom Hearts
2012 - Wario
2013 - Mega Man Classic
2013 - Devil May Cry
2013 - Mega Man X
2013 - God of War
2013 - Metroid

Future - Pokémon
Future - Splinter Cell
Future - Mega Man Spinoffs
Future - Elder Scrolls
Future - Mario
Future - Platinum Games
Future - Kirby
Future - Clover
Future - Castlevania
Future - Metal Gear
Future - Tenchu
Future - Ninja Gaiden
Future - Onimusha
Future - Ape Escape
Future - Disgaea
Future - Twisted Metal
Future - Deception
-----------------------------------------------------------

Destructoid Reviews:

Street Fighter x Tekken

Babel Rising

Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor

Tekken Tag Tournament 2

Guild Wars 2

Realms of Ancient War

New Super Mario Bros. 2 DLC

Dance Central 3

New Little King's Story

Skylanders Giants

Dokuro

Punch Quest

Orgarhythm

New Super Mario Bros. 2 DLC #2

Razer Kraken Pro Headset

Need for Speed: Most Wanted mobile

Assassin's Creed III: Liberation

WWE '13

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Splitz

PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale

Mighty Switch Force! Hyper Drive Edition

Tekken Tag Tournament 2: Wii U Edition

New Super Mario Bros. 2 DLC #3

Uncharted: Fight for Fortune

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD DLC

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: Dragonborn

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (iOS)

Skylanders: Battlegrounds

Black Knight Sword

Crimson Shroud

New Super Mario Bros. 2 DLC #4

Anarchy Reigns

Joe Danger Touch

Might & Magic Clash of Heroes (iOS)

Fire Emblem: Awakening

Skulls of the Shogun

The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia

Puddle (Wii U)

Call of Duty: Black Ops II: Revolution

Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed (PC)

Omerta: City of Gangsters

Dungeonland

Razer Orbweaver Gaming Keypad

PlayStation All-Stars DLC

Bentley's Hack Pack

Urban Trial Freestyle

Assassin's Creed III: King Washington DLC: The Infamy

Halo 4: Majestic Map Pack

Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 Plus

Dollar Dash

DmC: Devil May Cry: Vergil's Downfall

Kersploosh!

ATV Wild Ride 3D

Darkstalkers Resurrection

Assassin's Creed III: King Washington DLC: The Infamy

Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity

Ms. Splosion Man (iOS)

BattleBlock Theater

Toki Tori 2

Slayin' (iOS)

Halo 4: Castle Map Pack

Metal Gear Rising Revengeance: Jetstream

Tekken Card Tournament

Sonic Dash

Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner: Soul Hackers

Call of Duty: Black Ops II: Uprising DLC

Injustice: Gods Among Us (iOS)

Fish Out of Water

Logitech G700s Rechargeable Gaming Mouse

LEGO City Undercover: The Chase Begins

Assassin's Creed III: King Washington DLC: The Redemption

Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R

Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen

Witch and Hero

Haunted Hollow

Way of the Dogg

Jack Lumber

Star Command

Color Commando

Metal Gear Rising Revengeance: Blade Wolf DLC

Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D

Dust 514

Plants vs. Zombies Adventures

Best Park In the Universe - Regular Show

Men's Room Mayhem

Rising Storm

Mighty Switch Force! 2

New Super Luigi U

Jak and Daxter Collection (Vita)

BUGS vs. Tanks!

Borderlands 2: Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep

Hotline Miami (PS3/Vita)

Muramasa Rebirth

Call of Duty: Black Ops II: Vengeance

Doodle Jump Kinect

Gun Monkeys

Deus Ex: The Fall

Anno Online

Dusty Revenge

Tiny Thief

Halo: Spartan Assault

Dragon's Crown

Rise of the Triad

Bloodmasque

The Drowning

Kid Tripp

Sky Tourist

Dropchord

Mikey Hooks

Charlie Murder

DuckTales Remastered

Ultima Forever

Plants vs. Zombies 2: It's About Time

Halo 4: Champions Pack

Disney Infinity

Killer is Dead

Call of Duty: Black Ops II: Apocalypse Pack

KickBeat

Diablo III (PS3/360)

Pokemon Rumble U

Lost Planet 3

Disney Infinity: Cars Play Set

Disney Infinity: Lone Ranger Play Set

Card Hunter

Elgato Game Capture HD

Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix

Angry Birds Star Wars II

Wikipad

Real Boxing

Skydive: Proximity Flight

Disgaea D2: A Brighter Darkness

Grand Theft Auto Online

Skylanders: Swap Force

SteelSeries Siberia Elite Gaming Headset

Deus Ex Human Revolution: Director's Cut (Wii U)

Wii Party U

Disney Infinity: Toy Story in Space Play Set

Regular Show 3DS

Rayman Fiesta Run

Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea Episode One

XCOM: Enemy Within

Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus

The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

Contrast

Crimson Dragon

Dead Rising 3

LocoCycle

Super Mario 3D World

Powerstar Golf

Ryse: Son of Rome

Zoo Tycoon

Xbox Fitness

Call of Duty: Ghosts (Xbox One and PS4)

Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon 3DS

Assassin's Creed IV (Xbox One and PS4)

Fighter Within

Feenix 2014 Gaming Mouse and Pad

Battlefield 4 (Xbox One and PS4)

Skylanders: Swap Force (Xbox One and PS4)

Tiny Brains

Mad Katz Killer Instinct Arcade FightStick

Assassin's Creed: Pirates

Peggle 2

Doki Doki Universe

Samurai Gunn

SteelSeries H Wireless Headset

Roxio Game Capture HD Pro

The Art of Assassin's Creed IV

MOGA Ace Power

Logitech Powershell

The Walking Dead Season 2: Episode One

Assassin's Creed IV: Freedom Cry

Republique

Fightback

NES Remix

World of Warplanes

Ridge Racer Slipstream

Batman: Arkham Origins: Initiation

Dr. Luigi

Valdis Story: Abyssal City

SteelSeries Stratus iOS controller

Joe Danger Infinity

Castle Doombad

Dark Souls: Design Works

Muramasa Rebirth DLC #1

Assassin's Creed Liberation HD

Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition

Fable Anniversary

The Wolf Among Us: Smoke and Mirrors

Dead Rising 3: Operation Broken Eagle

Jazzpunk

One Piece: Romance Dawn

Dead Rising 3: Fallen Angel

AeternoBlade

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

Strider

Tales of Symphonia Chronicles

Thief

Steel Diver: Sub Wars

Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare

Rambo: The Video Game

Dead Rising 3: Chaos Rising

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2

Basement Crawl

Pac-Man Museum

South Park: The Stick of Truth

The Walking Dead: A House Divided

Fractured Soul

Dark Souls II

Titanfall

Yoshi's New Island

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z

Dead Rising 3: The Last Agent

inFamous: Second Son

The Witch and the Hundred Knight

Deception IV: Blood Ties

BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea: Episode Two

Diablo III: Reaper of Souls

Dynasty Warriors 8: Xtreme Legends

-----------------------------------------------------------

Ranked

Fire Emblem

Clover Studios and Platinum Games

Castlevania

Mega Man

-----------------------------------------------------------

Guides:

Street Fighter X Mega Man

Anarchy Reigns

Fire Emblem: Awakening

Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

God of War: Ascension

Soul Sacrifice

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Dragon's Dogma

Star Command

A guide to playing more games

Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D

Mutant Mudds Deluxe

Shin Megami Tensei IV

Pikmin 3

Dragon's Crown

Saints Row IV

Killer is Dead

Pokemon Rumble U

Disney Infinity

The Wonderful 101

Grand Theft Auto V

Volgarr the Viking

Shadow Warrior

GTA V

GTA Online

Pokemon X & Y trades

Pokemon X & Y tips

Regular Show 3DS

Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus

Crimson Dragon

LocoCycle

Super Mario 3D World

Pokemon X & Y post-game

Super Mario 3D World video

Dr. Luigi

Broken Age

OlliOlli

Fable Anniversary

Titanfall Beta

Strider

Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

Deception IV

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Select Originals:

Fanboyism

Fighting games

3DS recommendations

Ouya's Free the Games Fund

Vita recommendations

Speedrunning

Bravely Default talk

[url=http://www.destructoid.com/opinion-titanfall-s-campaign-failed-to-draw-me-into-its-universe-271869.phtml]Titanfall campaign talk
[/url]

Memory Card


-----------------------------------------------------------

Promoted (before I was staff):

Playing with Others: Phantasy Star Offline

Magnalon's quest to beat every Zelda in 2011

Tips for Securing Your Xbox Live Account

-----------------------------------------------------------

My top 20 games (in no particular order):

Resident Evil 5
Fallout: New Vegas
Dragon Age: Origins
Dark Souls
Demon's Souls
Skies of Arcadia
Lunar 1 and 2
World of Warcraft: All Expansions
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3
Tenchu 2
Devil May Cry 3
Phantasy Star Online
Ape Escape 1
Rockman and Forte (Megaman and Bass)
God Hand
Jet Set Radio Future
Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Donkey Kong Country
Final Fantasy Tactics

Bonus:

Dark Souls II
Deception IV: Blood Ties
Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
South Park: The Stick of Truth
Strider (2014)
Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy
The Wolf Among Us
Bravely Default
NES Remix
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze
Super Mario 3D World
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
Dead Rising 3
The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD
Guacamelee
Pokemon X & Y
Super Mario 3D World
Grand Theft Auto V
Dragon's Crown
Gravity Rush
Dragon's Dogma
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
Pandora's Tower
Persona 4 Golden
Pokémon Silver
Tomb Raider (2013)
Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon
Brave Fencer Musashi
Shenmue II
Dark Cloud
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
Ikaruga
Asura's Wrath
Halo 4
Mutant Mudds
Far Cry 3
Assassin's Creed III
Retro City Rampage
Guild Wars 2
Bayonetta
Binding of Isaac
Kingdoms Of Amalur: Reckoning
Fez
Zone of the Enders 2
Xenoblade Chronicles
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Batman: Arkham City
Skylanders Giants
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance
Diablo
Diablo II
Diablo III
Amplitude
Dust: An Elysian Tail
Tomb Raider II
Metal Gear Solid 4
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Bastion
Zombies At My Neighbors
Super Bomberman 2
Mass Effect
Mass Effect 2
Mass Effect 3
Spelunky
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
Tony Hawk's Underground 2
Assassin's Creed II
Onimusha 3
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Ninja Gaiden Black (Xbox)
Power Stone 2
No More Heroes 2
Ultima Online
Aladdin SNES
Super Punch-Out!!
Demon's Crest
Disgaea
Secret of Mana
Sparkster
Borderlands 2
Final Fantasy IV
Final Fantasy X
Super Mario RPG
Super Mario 64
Super Mario World
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Super Mario Galaxy
Super Mario 3D Land
Mega Man 8
Okami
The Lost Vikings
Actraiser
Bujingai: The Forsaken City
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Odin Sphere
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy Kong's Quest
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence
Call of Duty: World at War
Chrono Trigger
Call of Duty: Black Ops
Jeanne d'Arc
Half Minute Hero
Kirby Super Star
Super Meat Boy
Jamestown: Legend of the Lost Colony
L.A. Noire
VVVVVV
Outland (XBLA/PSN)
Shantae: Risky's Revenge
Mighty Flip Champs
Child of Eden
Kirby's Dream Course
Shadows of the Damned
Knights of the Old Republic (KOTOR)
Rayman: Origins

-----------------------------------------------------------

The following are a few of my favorite fictional characters, compliments of SuitcoatAvenger

-My favorite video game character of all time: Magic Emperor Ghaleon.

-Legato Bluesummers from Trigun: classic villain.

-Although obscure, Zero Beat is among my favorites.

-My original avatar.
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I thought I didn't love pain. That was, until I met Alma.

My life for Gaiden

You see, Alma and I go way back. I was visiting prospective colleges in 2004, and I had a few friends at a southern Virginia college named Christopher Newport University. Those friends happened to have Ninja Gaiden. My first mistake was to start playing it, even though I only had 2 total days there, and most of it was supposed to be spent viewing the campus and "taking in" my future.



On one hand, there was the thought of "choosing my future place of education, where most likely what I learned there would influence the rest of my life in respect to Academia", and on the other hand, there was the primal thought of "I want to fucking play Ninja Gaiden right now". Stew on it a bit and guess what prevailed...

The Encounter

I started the game and was blown away. Not by it's difficulty, but by how much fun it was. I breezed past the enemies with my advanced hand-eye ninja coordination, and before I knew it, I was in a chapel. It seemed innocent enough; you know, it's a holy place.

There's nothing there but tortured screams, cries, and death; there's nothing there but Alma.

When I first saw Alma I laughed so hard my eyes hurt. She looked like a Power Rangers villain that didn't make Rita Repulsa's B Squad. The battle started, and I was shocked. Every time I attacked her, she did a flip-dodge, and every attack she landed on me did-in most of my health.

Now Alma wouldn't have been too hard if I had any healing items at all. Left naked in the sun, I had to defeat her with my skill alone (problem #1). Finally, in what felt like days, I learned her tactics.

She was dead.


I am the girl in this picture


I was done. Finally, 2 hours later, I was free of my seemingly eternal torment. 6 more hours of the game flashed like lightning. I felt a sense of relief coming over me; even though Alma swore to me that she would be back, she was no where in sight. Then it happened.

Spider-Queen Alma

Ziggarat. Alma Form 2. Spider body. All memories of that event are just fractured thoughts. I vaguely remember the shock of Alma actually coming back very late in the game when I thought I had been purged of my arch-nemesis' effects.

All I remember is killing her.

I cried. The joy overtook me like a sack of potatoes dropping right on my head. But wait! I had to leave in order to be on time for work the next day...I had to leave my saved game on my friend's hard-drive, who was graduating that year...I head to leave my hopes and dreams.



The Pain

Funnily enough, I actually ended up going to Christopher Newport. My first day on campus, while perusing the local shopping mall, I came across a Gamestop; and what did I see on sale? A used copy of Ninja Gaiden. I mustered up the courage and decided to tough it out again. Alma got her shit wrecked. I sliced her on every parry, and dodged all that she could muster.

I decided to play hard mode, innocently enough, and said to myself "if Alma is too hard, I'm just going to quit, ok?" 30 minutes into hard Alma I decided to call it quits. My roommates were in at the time and called me a chicken.

Oh no they di'nt.

1 hour later amidst loud cheering, Alma was vanquished. Next stop, Spider Alma Hard.

Check.

Pressing my luck, I ventured into Very Hard. I had similar experiences with Alma, even though I was very prepared for the occasion this time, stocked with healing goodies. Eventually, health couldn't save me...

An unpleasant surprise

In Ninja Gaiden, on Very Hard, the enemies change, and in some instances, so do the bosses. I had just mastered Alma to the point of near perfection; I did it! Alma would never again trample me with her salmon-feet and slick buttocks. I had made the decision not to venture into the next difficulty level, and all I had from here on in was to defeat a few more easy bosses, then the final foe.

What....the....hell

Final area. Final boss gauntlet. Alma: reincarnated. I couldn't believe it. Team Ninja shamelessly used Alma's character model to re-create an entirely new boss fight only found in Very Hard. 3 hours, 2 popped blood vessels, and 1 busted controller later, and I had beaten the game. I promptly turned it off and never looked back.



To this day, I have not beaten Alma on Master Ninja. She is a hurdle that I must cross before my time is up on this Earth. Once I beat her, I think it would just be best to sell the game and never speak of her again. Never before have I experienced that much pain in a video game, and I do not foresee anything like it in the future. Alma tormented me a total of 7 times before I was finally through with my anguish; and I still have another 3 to go.

Ckarasu, I hope you enjoyed it; my copy of Soul Nomad just broke.
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