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About Me


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I figured a little introduction was in order in case people were curious. My name is Chris (Magnalon) and I have been enjoying Destructoid avidly since 2008. I finally decided to make an account and start blogging in January of 2009.

I'm in my 20s, I'm married, and I've been playing games since I was 4. I still remember buying my own NES system at Sears and going home and playing Mario/Duck Hunt. Fast forward to the present, my wife and I now own a PS3 and 360, and in the winter of 2009, we bought a Wii simply so we could play New Super Mario Brothers Wii. As far as contemporary systems go, I also own an iPhone 4 (which I game on very heavily - check out HookChamp), a DS, a 3DS, the Kinect, the PS Move, and a PSP-2000. If I had to choose a system I had the "best times" with, it would be a two way tie between the Sega Dreamcast and Sony Playstation 2. My favorite game series is Mega Man Classic, but I own every Metal Gear, Devil May Cry, Zelda, and Resident Evil game ever released in the US, so it's a close call!

There are too many good games out to count now, but recently I've been itching to play my backlog of old PS2 action titles. I'll play anything and everything action-adventure, so if you have a game in mind, drop me a line! I have strong opinions regarding the financial decisions of many publishers, but at the end of the day, I'm willing to give anything a chance; especially if it comes recommended by a community member.

Oh; and in 2012 I started contributing to Destructoid.

Are you not satisfied?
Here's an in-depth 10 things about me post that will enlighten you further

My top 20 games (in no particular order)

Resident Evil 5
Fallout: New Vegas
Dragon Age: Origins
Dark Souls
Demon's Souls
Skies of Arcadia
Lunar 1 and 2 (too hard to decide)
World of Warcraft: All Expansions
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Bayonetta
Tenchu 2
Devil May Cry 3
Phantasy Star Online
Ape Escape 1
Rockman and Forte (Megaman and Bass)
God Hand
Jet Set Radio Future
Ikaruga
Donkey Kong Country
Final Fantasy Tactics

Bonus:

Batman: Arkham City
The Elder Scrolls IV: Skyrim
Metal Gear Solid 4
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Bastion
Mass Effect
Super Mario Galaxy
Assassin's Creed II
Onimusha 3
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Ninja Gaiden Black (Xbox)
Power Stone 2
No More Heroes 2
Mass Effect 2
Disgaea 3
Final Fantasy X
Okami
Bujingai: The Forsaken City
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Odin Sphere
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy Kong's Quest
Super Mario 64
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence
Call of Duty: World at War
Call of Duty: Black Ops
Jeanne d'Arc
Half Minute Hero
Super Meat Boy
Jamestown: Legend of the Lost Colony
L.A. Noire
VVVVVV
Outland (XBLA/PSN)
Shantae: Risky's Revenge
Mighty Flip Champs
Child of Eden
Shadows of the Damned
Knights of the Old Republic (KOTOR)
Star Wars: The Old Republic
Rayman: Origins
Pushmo

Promoted:
Playing with Others: Phantasy Star Offline

Magnalon's quest to beat every Zelda in 2011

Tips for Securing Your Xbox Live Account

Magnalon's Quests:
2011 - Zelda
2012 - Resident Evil

The following are a few of my favorite fictional characters, compliments of SuitcoatAvenger


My favorite video game character of all time: Magic Emperor Ghaleon.


Legato Bluesummers from Trigun: classic villain.


Although obscure, Zero Beat is among my favorites.


My original avatar.
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Games IGN ruined: God Hand Edition
Chris Carter | 5:03 PM on 03.30.2009 16 comments




If I told you that the team responsible for Resident Evil 4, including Mr. Resident Evil himself, Shinja Mikami worked on God Hand, I’m sure you’d be shocked. Despite it’s impressive pedigree, God Hand has gotten a poor rap in the critical community. It’s average reviews have vastly been cited due to it’s “extreme difficulty”, which I think is a very unfair criticism considering it was created with a specific gamer in mind. To clue you in on how much of a niche game God Hand really is, Producer Atsushi Inaba frankly stated that “God Hand is aimed at hardcore gamers”. Does it have problems? Of course it does, it just doesn’t detract so much from the game that it ceases to be fun; in fact, God Hand is a blast.

(Expecting an article on why IGN sucks? Nope; it's a review)

If you’re looking for a cohesive story, don’t bother. God Hand makes about as much sense as most hardcore niche anime shows. You play Gene, a man who has just had his hand severed and coincidentally (or at least it seems like a coincidence) had it replaced with the strongest weapon in the world: the God Hand. Enter an evil organization that wants to steal it from you, and you have a plot (or lack of plot, however you want to look at it). Shinja Mikami’s aim here isn’t to “wow” you with a spectacular story, however, it’s to make you laugh, and shock you into disbelief. While you may feel that you have no motivation in your quest for glory, the oddball characters, dialogue, and rivalries will keep you wanting more.

At it’s core, God Hand is a brawler, make no mistake. The fighting system is extremely intricate, boasting over 100 moves and abilities from drunken fist to Eddie Gordo’s “break-dance fighting” capoeira style. You have your basic moves based off realistic fighting styles, and you have your “extreme moves”, where most of the game’s uniqueness lies. When you use an extreme move, a roluette wheel will pop up and allow you to choose your move in a short period of time.

The thrilling aspect of the roulette mechanic is that it slows down time to a crawl to allow you to use your move, but enemies can still knock you out of it! Regular grabs and attacks can also be “out there”. To name a few examples, enemies can be punched into the sky (disappearing with a glint) and female enemies can be spanked across the room. On occasion there will be various QTE sequences, but they fit perfectly into the game, and aren’t bothersome in any way. All of them are woven into normal moves, and never during cutscenes; for instance the stomp attack is utilized when repeatedly pressing circle when an enemy is on the ground.



Knee to the face!


One of the most unique features in God Hand is the “scaled difficulty bar”. Right there in front of you on your HUD, this bar taunts you repeatedly. The more punches you land, and the less damage you take, the higher this bar goes up, thus up-scaling the difficulty in the process. Once it maxes out, “DIE” appears on the bar and you essentially are screwed unless you’re really good at evading. The best part about this scaling difficulty is that you get rewarded with more points depending on how high the bar was during each level.

The first few stages you’ll get used to it, but in a matter of time you’ll keep it hovering just below “DIE”, and reap the benefits. God Hand also has a devil trigger-like mechanic, where you accrue energy in your “god bar” in order to rip the protective bracelet off of your god hand and unleash it’s power. You become invincible for a short amount of time, and do more damage; knowing when to use this power is key in terms of your survival.

Despite it’s very fun gameplay, God Hand will still have many “controller throwing moments”. Sometimes you’ll have little to no health, no powerups or pickups in sight, and you barely kill the last enemy in an area. Well guess what? That enemy happened to have a demon living inside of him that’s over twice as powerful as the enemy you defeated! This happens a handful of times throughout the game, and tests your patience. Get used to the dodge technique really early on if you want to have enough health for one of these surprises. There are also a few boss fights where the enemy will inflict a rather large amount of damage. It feels a bit cheap, but if you master the dodge system, it’s possible to not take any damage.
godhand3



Gene, meet Elvis


The soundtrack is just as odballish as the game. Comprised of various 70s, 80s, and orchestral tunes (with some amazing “wipeout” sounding surfer songs thrown in), you’ll never know what to expect. In-game, the voice acting is superb; Gene hilariously comments while fighting, and everything from a normal punch to a grand slam swing fits the game. When it comes to cut-scene voice acting you’re getting a mixed bag. Sometimes the dialogue will be appropriately cheesy, but sometimes it will just feel outright strange. Don’t be alarmed though, that’s what God Hand sets out to do: shock you! If you are offended by homosexual African-American circus twins, you need not apply. I warned you!

In God Hand, the locales you visit will range from sci-fi to western to fantasy. You start off in an “Old West” ghost town, and eventually make it to a giant zaibatsu-esque Demon Tower. God Hand encourages a small amount of exploration, but this part ends up being a bit shallow. You can find many powerups like health, or item cards, but you may find exploring to be a bit tiresome due to the drab look of a few of the areas.

Visually, God Hand is a bit average for a PS2 game, which is surprising since it came near the end of it’s life-cycle. To make up for it, the vast majority of the character models are extremely interesting, and you’re bound to find at least 10 enemies or characters that you really like. In-between levels, you can also choose to visit the local Casino, where you can pass the time playing poker, blackjack, chihuahua racing, slots, and cage fighting. With the money you earn you can buy new moves, so while it benefits you to do these activities, they’re not required.

Reviewers often forget what the main purpose of playing games is: for fun. If reviews were based on fun factor alone, God Hand would be in the top 5 of all time list. Unfortunately, it has it’s problems, which could have been fixed with a bit more development time, but if you’re a hardcore gamer, as Mikami intended, you will love this game; no questions asked.

Presentation - 6.5
Graphically God Hand is not polished, and some of the locales are drab looking and empty. The character models are either hit or miss, but the obvious parodies are done very well.

Gameplay - 9.0
While the camera is a bit frustrating at first, you’ll easily learn to adapt to your surroundings and accomodate it. There is so much depth to the gameplay that you could beat the game twice and still not grasp all of it’s concepts.

Sound - 8.5
Even though some music feels out of place, the voice acting is hilarious (and hilariously bad in the right places), and the in-game sound effects give you a complete rush.

Longevity - 7.5
God Hand’s fighting system is so deep, you’ll spend a long time earning all 100+ moves and abilities. If you want to break up the action, feel free to frequent the Casino and earn some new moves. Subsequent playthroughts don’t change, but the game lasts a long time due to it’s depth.

Overall - 8.0
God Hand feels rushed game and wasn’t received well by many critics; but don’t believe them. If you can get past it’s difficulty, God Hand is one of the most enjoyable and unique games of all time.



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15 comments | showing # 1 to 15
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Persona's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 17:54
Persona
This sounds pretty fun, is it strictly a 1p game? It sounds kind of like a much more fun version of The Bouncer.

Bout how long does it take to beat? How many playthroughs before you get sick of it / get everything.
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 17:56
RonBurgandy2010
This game is incredibly frustrating. I ended up just giving up and moving on to the next game. It's a decent game, but the difficulty turned me off.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 18:00
Chris Carter
It's 1 player, and it's 1,000 times better than The Bouncer (although I do own, and strangely love that game).

It takes around an average of 10-15 hours. It's like any good brawler; it's fun to play a few times through, then you shelve it, and come back to it soon enough.

@Ron
Yea, it's really really hard. There are a few hurdles (the first demon spawn, Shannon the dominatrix boss fight, the Sagat parody, and Elvis demon form) but overall once you learn to use the god trigger, it's manageable.
Persona's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 18:03
Persona
i love difficult games, i need to go buy this NOW lol, too bad i live in the f****** boonies
Persona's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 18:07
Persona
I am not finding this on Game Stop where might I pick this up?
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 18:13
Chris Carter
[url]http://tinyurl.com/cyf59k"[/url]
Persona's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 18:28
Persona
thanks Magnalon, I was hoping to find it in a retail store, i hate waiting lol, but its only 15$ online so ill have to check it out there

thanks for the "moron" google thing, it was hilarious
how can i go about doing that lol
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 18:41
Holyetheline
Hell yeah. Very nice blog/review. This game almost sounds too hardcore for me but I'd love to play it.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 18:54
Jonathan Holmes
Great game, one of my all time favorites. I'd especially recommend it to people who like MadWorld, but think it's too short or too shallow. God Hand will fix both those problems for you. .

"..enemies can be punched into the sky (disappearing with a glint) and female enemies can be spanked across the room." are just two of the things that the two games have in common.

Also, poison chihuahua racing.
FalconReaper's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 19:19
FalconReaper
@ Jon Holmes:

You had me at chihuahua.
WilloughbyJackson's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2009 21:29
WilloughbyJackson
One of my favorite beat 'em ups. I've gotta learn how to get movies of Nico Nico Douga because there's a DIE level speedrun on there which is AMAZING to watch...
Discarded Couch Sandwich's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2009 05:31
Discarded Couch Sandwich
It's another case for debating whether review scores are worthwhile: some people will take those numbers as gospel and potentially miss out on a game they would otherwise really enjoy. It raises the question as to how far a reviewer should mark down a purely fun game just because of a few problems that still cant be overlooked.

Reminds me of Street Fighter the movie. It is one of the most fun movies to watch ever - Jean Claude Vanne Damme's preformance is hilarious as he's ever been - but its slated by critics due to...well, you know when you watch it. Not that i'm trying to draw any straight paralells between this game and a crap film..

Then again, I could just be talking out my ass since I haven't played God Hand. Been on my list though since the last time I heard it was awesome, I think this piece will be the final one to push me into getting it though! Good job!
Ckarasu's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2009 15:13
Ckarasu
I liked the review. It's too bad I never played God Hand, but I'm not really into beat'em ups.

@Discarded Couch Sandwich: I think scores are important, but not as much as actually reading through the review. It is tough to figure out how much you should take away from the score because of flaws.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2009 15:52
Chris Carter
In my opinion, scores shouldn't be analyzed as much as they are.

When it comes down to it, I draw my judgments from what the reviewer said in the actual body of the article.

"How does it play?"
"What does it have to do in it; does it have replay value?" "What was really bad about it, and would I really have an issue with that?"
Blasto's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/03/2009 12:56
Blasto
nice review man.
"...and female enemies can be spanked across the room." holy shit! I need to play more of this game lol
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