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MPHtails's blog

3:46 AM on 04.14.2008

Well, it's officially over.

THats right ladies and gents, though most people have by now stopped checking, the Super Smash Bros Dojo has posted it's final update. It's more or less a collection of interesting factoids and kinda useful trivia. I say, a fitting end to the ride we all took from May 22 of 2007 to Today, Monday, April 14th, 2008.

Man, remember when they announced the Subspace Emissarry? Sonic in Brawl? The whole Knuckle Joe thing? The anticipation each night for a possible new character, new stage, new surprise AT appearance? That was the highlight of the Brawl experience for me, though that's not to say I haven't enjoyed the heck out of Brawl like I know many of you have also. But the sense of community that these updates brought was awesome, and I figured I'd give them a little send off.

Thanks for keeping us on our toes, Sakurai.   read

9:54 PM on 04.03.2008

That poor, poor X button.

Why in the hell do gamemakers decide it's a good idea to put in button mashing segments in their games? It wears down the controller faster, it tires your arm faster and it can get fusterating in large doses.

What game motivated me to post this, you ask? Incredible Crisis.

It's a story-based minigame collection (think Feel the Magic for the DS (better comparisons would be appreciated.).) for the PSX. The game is about members of a family that have to get through this crazy hectic day of theirs.

So, I started my game, and it's pretty fun. It starts off with a Parappa knock off dance thing, until the end in where you slam the X button to fill up the meter to spin around like the finishing move from Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Not much bashing, but some. Then, a huge boulder comes in and suddenly your Indiana Jones running down the hall from the giant rock and now...IT'S MASHING TIME. You have to wait until the rectangle turns red than mash until you make it to the door. Three times (the second and third halls incude obstacles) and your in the elevator.

WHat do you do there, you ask? POUND THE SHIT OUT OF THE X BUTTON TO FILL UP A METER, all the while dodging shit falling from the sky. Of course, the meter has a quick as shit emptying rate, so you have to beat the loving hell out of that button for 4 minutes almost straight. Then is a nice single-pressing game in which you have to balance yourself to stay on the flagpole and not fall to a gory demise. Of course, once you complete it, you do anyway, so meh.

The second chapter is mash free until the final part, in which you have to find a location on a woman's back to rub using only her directions (i.e. " A Little Left".) When you do find the spot (given with a quite sexy "ooh, there"), you gotta rapid fire your thumb so you can fill up the pleasure bar to the max before you have to find the spot again.

Third chapter gives you a one game padding before it's back to beating the button liek a redheaded stepchild. This is where I stopped for the night.

I may not have the best stamina (which is evident in how I cant pound a button over and over in a rapid fashion for like 45 minutes), but it seems a bit excessive, don't you think? I don't want to stop my game while I'm having some nice fun to put my mashing arm in ice to rest it for the next couple innings, and I don't want to completely wear the (arguably) most important button on the controller out just for one game. I know the odds of wearing the button to the point of unresponsiveness over the course of this one game is quite small, and that these things are designed to be able to take quite a beating over a number of years, but man. At some point it becomes overkill.   read

9:06 PM on 03.27.2008

Why I need EDS' Free Points

Twas once a time, around April of twenty-ought-seven, when I was carefree. I had the world by the globes, and I wasn't about to let go anytime soon. At least, thats what I thought. Not yet having Xbox Live at the time, I popped in the latest OXM demo disc and booted up the demo for Monster Madness, a game that I was waiting for since I found out that it shared similarities with another game, one a bit older and a definite top tenner, Zombies ate my Neighbors. I played around with it a little bit, getting used to the somewhat wonky control scheme,and I'll say I had a bit of fun. I decided to play it again to see if, since I was better working my joysticks, I could do better (and therefore get more fun out of the game).

That, apparently, as not a wise decision. For but a few minutes into the game, my screen suddenly went blank. Not paying too much attention to the apparent problem, I turned off the system and back on again. I loaded the disc and then the demo again. But a scant 120 ticks later and I once again stared into blackness. At this point I got worried, afraid even. I glanced away from the dark confines of the glassy square to my 360, only to find my fears confirmed. Crimson in the pattern of a circle, but not a complete circle, oh no. One sector was dark. The demon of the Xbox had descended upon my house that day and spread a pox on my box. I turned it off, and switched to a regular game disc, hoping that it may have just been a glitch inthe unfinished game code on the disc. But such luck was not to be, My box was scratched off the list of the healthy, now one of the infected.
I slowly unhooked the system, packing it back in it's original box. I grabbed the phone, dialed the number, and ordered a coffin from Microsoft. I then went over, matched Red, yellow, and white wires to their holes, and turned on my Dreamcast, NES disc in tray, for a rousing game of Not Tecmo Super Bowl to take my mind off what had happened.

The coffin never came, but I had pushed the 360 to the back of my mind until July, when we moved. I happily filled those months with Sega based goodness, but the day came to pack everything into boxes and ship out. We moved everything over in a weeklong process of shifting and moving, finding things we'd lost many moons ago. As the clutter left and we finalized our settlement, we re-discovered a green and white cube. I pulled it out from the rubble and set it by my bed. It was night, so I hadn't the time to hook it up, but come morn, I'd be sure to test it out in a small hope that time heals all wounds.

I awoke to a sunny day. I stretched, walked to the bathroom and did my morning duties. I emerged refreshed, and ready to discover the fate my system had been tagged with. I removed it from it's cardboard resting place, placed it on the dresser. Once again matched wires with holes using a color coding system, and inserted the power wire into my power strip. I hit the button. The images appeared. It arrived at the main menu, and I looked for a disc to put in. Not having unpacked any yet, I remembered that Hexic HD was preinstalled on my machine, having gotten the Pro bundle of the system. I booted it up, and played. I played and played. I enjoyed myself there, almost forgetting that I was testing this out for a problem. An hour later, I declared it well enough to play arcade games. But what about discs? Could it handle reading the information contained thereupon and still function well?

I went through box after box, looking for a game to play. I came across my Smackdown 2007 disc, and I decided it was good enough. In goes the disc, on goes the game, and I get ready. Another hour later, and I was glad. Glad, because the demon had been defeated, the pox had been lifted, and I was now in a position to aquire Xbox Live. The world was once again mine, or at least the world of Xbox live was. And that was good enough for me. I sit here today typing this story in happiness, as I am currently keeping that very same Xbox warm for my next game of Team Fortress 2.

tl;dr: I want the Boston song pack for Rock Band but have no points.

Also, for my pic, the Xbox:

1:11 PM on 03.21.2008

A lighter shade of Jade or just need a Sequelitis shot?

So, It's september. I'm watching G4's midnight launch special for Halo 3, getting crazy excited for it. I fall asleep, and wake up in time to get to the mall at 9:30 and pick up my Legendary Edition. I go home and play for 18 hours. The next day I finish the game. A month later I'm playing Uno and Castlevania on XBLA.

Now it's December. I call around to see if anyone has any Rock Band bundles in stock. Since my car was down, I force mom to scramble and get me to the mall and pick it up. It's christmas and I finally open the box and play the crap out of the drums. It's late january, I'm playing Lunar: Eternal Blue.

It's march 9th. In a line with about 30 other dudes and dudettes waiting our turn to play Smash Bros before we can buy it. I get back home with my copy about 2 AM. I play it all night. I finish the Subspace Emissarry the next day, and the 3rd day I do it again due to being impatient with the Spectator mode glitch. It's now March 21st, and I'm starting either Megaman Legends or Parasite Eve.

What do these three stories have in common? Each is a sequel (except rock band, but it's the natural evolution of the Karaoke Revolution and Guitar Hero series, so I'm counting it in), Each was hotly anticipated, each came and went in a short amount of time, Each left me playing old classics that captured me more/longer than the game I left for them. Is it really that these games aren't as good as the old ones? Are they good, but am I becoming a little jaded and choosing to pass them by seeking a superior, more time-worthy venture? Or am I just getting bored with the same old thing and going back in time to play something different?

I think it's just number 3, but I'm curious to see how many others here are burning their fuse with the hot new games quicker than usual. Just to see if I'm just getting bored with franchises or really am just jading up.   read

2:03 PM on 03.16.2008

Am I seriously the only Luigi user?

I mean, I've seen maybe one other Luigi whilst playing online, and I'm just wondering If I'm the only one to main Mr. Green. I may minor in Lucas and Donkey Kong, but seriously, I think Luigi is way underrated in the eyes of most. I have a lot of success with him, is it that most suck with him, most don't give him a chance/ignore him, or that people play better with others?

Also, apparently it's the birthday of D-Toid and it's owner. Happy birthday, then.   read

10:41 PM on 03.03.2008

Unfortunately, March 9th is almost here.

And Smash Bros. Brawl will soon be here.

Now, I'm not saying that I won't be in line 9:00 PM on the 8th for the midnight launch, I most definitely will. Nor am I saying that I fear I won't like the game and will feel let down for the year or so of intense anticipation that's been going, I'm certain it's an excellent title.

What I AM depressed about is that soon the game will be out, and the wait will be over. What's so bad about that, you ask? I remember back to as far as last May when I discovered they were doing daily updates, and ever since then I was one of those who stayed up all night to see the newest update before bed. The anticipation of seeing what every update brought, be it a new stage, a new character (veteran AND newcomer), or finding out how to recover. The explosions of the internets over the revelation of Sonic or the anger at having a whole week of controller updates. The building of anticipation and expectations. Wonders about new characters and their playing styles/moves.

I remember pre-ordering Halo 3, getting the collectors edition. Gradually, as the game came closer to release, the hype built and speculation and false spoilers ran rampant. I'm not that big of a Halo fan, but I got jammed right in the hype machine and upgraded to the Legendary edition. I watched that G4 launch day special. I was having a great time waiting for the game.

When I actually played the game, I played all day that day for 18 hours, played it heavily for a week, then traded between it and orange box, then waned rapidly. I still enjoy playing it (in fact, it's the only game i have every achievement in), and the game itself met my personal expectations, but the coming was better than the arrival. Looking at (and subsequently mocking) topics about how Master Chief will reveal her face, or some kind of implied homosexual super soldier X alien ending scene, or whatever. It was like hanging with friends trying to come up with the craziest scenarios. Same kind of thing with Brawl. It felt like hanging out with the dudes and dudettes, even with people I didn't know at all, when we were all going bonkers over this stage or shitting all over that character.

Of course, at launch the game will be the hottest thing ever. And, as with everything, it will cool over time until it just seems like the same old. The game won't suddenly stop being fun, but the collective orgasm will wear off, and everyone will move on, leaving all the great memories with it behind.

I've had a great time pouring over every major update and even some of the lesser ones. I know I'll have an absolute ball smashing faces online or in subspace. But, be it the fact that its so close and I really am just kind of in a funk because it's so close but I don't have it yet, or if it's because all the big secrets are now known, or what, but now that theres little much left but to play the game, the big part of the fun is over. That's not to say that I want another delay, because that won't help at all. But I just had such a good time getting here that a part of me dosen't want it to be over.

I'm rambling by now, so I'll just stop myself here.   read

3:39 AM on 02.16.2008

I wanna be the very best, like noone ever was...

but I never have anything to blog about, so fission mailed.

However, I just want everyone to know that I now have two Sega CD games with boobs and nipples in them. Kinda cool, for 199whatever year it was. 4 or 5 I think.   read

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