Hello Destructoid. I have been around for a little while, commenting and such. So far I’ve greatly enjoyed the site and the community members that bring it all together. This is my first venture into joining an online gaming community and I hope it works out well. This is assuming, of course, that I don’t suck. I did read the rules, after all.



I’m taking this first post very seriously and want to make a good impression. Indeed, I want our relationship to be a fruitful and meaningful one. For the proper introduction I’ve decided to try something different. So here is my gaming adaptation of six of the 43 Best Speed Dating Tips by Rakhi Abraham to make this process of mass introductions go more smoothly.

Question 1: What do you do for work (that you can afford to play games?)
Answer: I work for a pest control company doing termite work. In a typical week I work 45 to 60+ hours. As such it cramps my playing time, but I try the best I can.

Question 2: Where are you from that you developed a love of gaming?
Answer: I’m from a small town in southwestern Indiana. There wasn’t a whole lot to do, and being no social butterfly, playing video games was an obvious choice.

Question 3: What was your last game and how long did it last?
Answer: Far Cry 2. It lasted until 56% completion when the system froze three times. I knew going in that we would eventually be incompatible. It’s like dating a stripper (she’s just misunderstood…paying her way through college, right?), where the only possible outcome is a broken heart and two new STD’s. FC2 was open-minded about its game play and I appreciated that. Too bad it ended up being a total b!tch.

Question 4: What are you looking for in a game?
Answer: Above all else it has to be more enjoyable than it is frustrating. Otherwise I become somewhat distant and uninterested. Also, I end up being too much a sissy to break it off myself. I tend to look for more ‘tried and true’ game elements than I do new concepts. As such I play quite a few RPG’s and standard fare FPS. This isn’t to say that I don’t welcome change in a game, just not too much.

Question 5: You have six months to live. What will you play before you die?
Answer: Most of the Final Fantasy series. Also some Persona, Shadow of the Colossus, Chrono Trigger and Half-Life. I would fit in some classic Mario, Tecmo Bowl and finish it off with Duck Hunt. Let’s hope it wouldn’t come to that, though.

Question 6: If you won the lottery, how would you spend your money on video games?
Answer: After outfitting myself with my dream video game set-up, I would start a gaming charity for terminally ill children. This would be like a week long video game retreat, full of every system and game available. Kids could play in tournaments, regardless of skill, or by themselves in their own room. The place would have a campus atmosphere, with every room having its own theme…i.e. Link’s Dungeon, Master Chiefs Bachelor Pad, Kid Icarus’s Playground, etc. I truly believe there is a lot of potential for gaming charity to grow.

Anyway, I hope this was informative and that afterward you’ll enjoy tearing apart my feeble attempt at mediocrity. For more information you can view my woefully lacking sidebar and laugh hysterically. Let’s see…what else can I add? Oh yes! I already love you Mr. Sadistic, and welcome your cold embrace. Everyone else, I’m sorry to say, cannot eat me. I’m not meant for human consumption, and have already had a rebound relationship from all you disappointed cannibals.