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About

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Life doing its thing. You feelin' it, too?



My waifu Vanessa could take Samus.


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Roughly Ten Things About Me:
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I'm an European-Asian male living under the rule of a monarchy.

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I am not a writer; I am a crayonologist. I enjoy shredding paper with pencils. It's extremely cathartic.

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I'm very passionate about reading, it helps me pretend I'm English (wot wot). My favourite book is Alexandre Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo".

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I love listening to music on trains, in parks, sprawled out on my bed and during gaming. I like any genre; favourite artists include: Underworld, James Brown, The Police, David Gray, The Kinks, Johnny Cash, Foo Fighters and Jimi Hendrix.

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I adore film and popcorn. Popcorn slightly more. I couldn't pick a favourite film but I do tend to shy away from horror. Oh, fuggit I'll name-drop Leon and Gladiator.

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Like fellow Dtoiders I also game.

| My Top Ten | My GOAT Game | My Sega Saturn |
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Other things include: drinking too much tea, unashamedly singing poorly, making shallow attempts at keeping fit, and thinking too much.

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Finally, I'm an enthusiastic cook. Currently obsessed with making Tacos. Was obsessed with quiche and focaccia.


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BLOGRONOMICON 2nd Edition
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https://wayforward.com/

Just a quick memo for the dazed and confused waking to the achy and boozey aftermath of a Mike Martin sexual rampage from last night. It was all in good fun; see, it's our ninth anniversary. And anniversaries call for celebration! And our dear Uncle Phil enjoys nothing more than celebrating in the sweet, tender joy of your partially aware company. I think I'm pregnant, Mike! Speaking of anniversaries. It's WayForward's 25th anniversary this month! You've heard of them, right? If not, they made such wonderful games like:

Shantae

Mighty Switch Force!

A Boy and His Blob

Contra 4

BloodRayne: Betrayal

Double Dragon: Neon

And many more that can be found and seen right here.

Certain members of the WayForward team left to start Yacht Club Games who then fapped out the modern classic Shovel Knight (heard of that one? Me neither).

In celebration, they are offering a few discounts on selected games with more to come, so grab 'em before they go! Why this news has not been spread around (like Mike), I have zero idea.

 

Ooo, look, some details on the bargins!

PSN (March 10th - March 17th in North America):
– Mighty Flip Champs! DX (PSP, PS3, PSVita) – FREE

iOS (March 12th - March 19th, Worldwide):
– Shantae: Risky’s Revenge, Full Version (iOS) – FREE
– Mighty Switch Force! Hose It Down! (iOS) – 50% off

Steam (March 12th - March 19th, Worldwide):
– Shantae: Risky’s Revenge – Director’s Cut (Steam) – 75% off

Nintendo 3DS eShop (March 12th - March 19th, North America, Europe, Australia/New Zealand):
– Mighty Switch Force! (3DS) – 75% off
– Mighty Switch Force! 2 (3DS) – 75% off
– Shantae and the Pirate’s Curse (3DS) – 25% off

Nintendo Wii U eShop (March 12th - March 19th, North America, Europe, Australia/New Zealand):
– Mighty Switch Force! Hyper Drive Edition (Wii U) – 75% off
– Mighty Switch Force! 2 (Wii U) – 75% off
– Shantae and the Pirate’s Curse (Wii U) – 25% off

Check their site out for more details. https://wayforward.com/

Here endth the memo.

I am absolutely not affiliated with WayForward in any way shape or form and they totally did not buy me this hot dog to shill their shit. I found it. In that bin. Mmm, the germs *gags* give it a zingy flavour! *chokes* Besides, in about five seconds or so this memo will self destruct. ...Any second now. Aww, just close the tab then.









Let's get silly! Simple game: I regularly post a picture, you caption it. The winner is the comment with the most upvotes. The winner will also receive a prize for their efforts.

 

What the booming heck is going on here?

 

You can if you want but there's no need to save the picture and graft text on to it, just leave your captions (in your own style) in the comments below, kinda like so:

Comment example:

Sonic: "Blah."
Knuckles: "Blah."

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 Rules

1. The awesomeness that is Tonich just became a proud father!!
2. We need to pick and send three wise Dtoiders to Russia asap!
3. Hand out the cuban cigars!
4. Shake each other's hands!
5. Raise your glasses, cheers!

Caption Competition is open to all globally. That includes Steven's roomie, Kenny.

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Last time's winner is... Script!

 

I guess this victory was written in the Script! *Tidus laugh* Well done!

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A quick message to all the lovely folks who take time to read my blogs: thank you. If you've read this blog then please upvote people making captions. No need to fap (heart) this blog but please do check back and upvote the partcipants. I thank you, kindly.
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Why is there music? To help get your creative juices flowing and you all fired up to make awesome captions. Also, Son-niiiic BOOOOOOM!









Private Luck reporting for dooty, sir! As the Barry Pepper within the Band of Bloggers, I'm content to sit and wait until I'm absolutely ready before I fire my bloggy load. However, with the deadline fast approaching and little time spent in game, I'm going to have to rattle off my thoughts so far.

I was wrong. Happy? I said this game wasn't worth my time. It soo was.

Embarrassingly, I've never played any Fallout game for more than fifteen minutes because of the slow start each game tends to have, by the time it gets going I've upped and gone to my kitchen for a snack.


Like a boss.

This was no different; I had to go through a one hour character customisation boss fight (which I eventually won) before I could go out and venture off into the world. And what a huge and vast world (area, not really a world) it is. Hollow, lifeless, and very brown. The post-war land stretches out quite far and has got me wondering just how far I'm allowed to go. So I checked the map on my Pip-Boy. Ugh. That's too far. And too much walking. To speed things along I am hoping I can ride on horseback, or use a vehicle, but that hasn't happened yet (I'm not very far into the game); I have seen a mutant two-headed buffalo thingy-ma-jig and some motorcycles, so I'm hoping it happens.

I'm trying to recall the story from memory so far but all I can remember is the amount of junk I've stolen. If kleptomania was on the skill tree I would have maxed it out by now. No joke. As soon as I started I took everything in the house – his plates, burnt books, medical instruments, even his toilet plunger. Hey, you never know! Of course I couldn't run anymore, but I didn't care because now I could open my own knick-knack store. Unfortunately, this negatively impacted my karma. Off to a bad start as usual, then.

First day was rough. I slept it off.

Got into a fight shortly after leaving the doctor's to begin my journey pursuing my nemesis. Some Geckos decided to make me their supper. I wasn't impressed. This battle was way more fun than I anticipated it would be, thanks to the rag-doll physics and limb dismemberment. After all that boring jammerin' back at the Doc's place, trying different parts and self-grooming, things were picking up. Ah, I thought, this is not going to be some boring point-and-click-dialogue-fest after all. Excellent!

The game looks really great, stuff looks stuff, and the whole thing sounds appropriately eery and ominous. The game's music fits really well with the environment. Additionally, the radio stations on the Pip-Boy are a hoot. I love the oldies belting out of it. They can get repetitive though. Some are really catchy. I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle...


Shades, in the dark? Really?

Customisation features very heavily throughout and is very welcomed by me. As a fan of pimping my guns in games like Army of Two and Resident Evil 4, I love how you can play around with weapons', and character's, stats even if it all has very little real-world significance early on in the game. Giant Radscorpions can kiss my ass. For instance, I can spend ages finding parts to craft the perfect 10mm handgun in order to do optimal damage against these scorpions or I can save my time and use a stick of dynamite. Job done. (I'm guessing beyond normal mode these stats will start to matter more.)

Currently, in the game, I am on my way to Nipton in the Mojave Wasteland region. And I can't wait to see who and (more importantly) what I will find. So far, I passed a couple arguing but before I could intervene or assist, a wide-eyed Tomas rushed away from the corpse of a Jacklyn and towards me to explain himself. Turns out she was the bad kind of hitch-hiker (like Rutger Hauer). What stood out about this encounter wasn't the fatal tiff they had. Oh no. It was her fucking decapitated head rolling past me. Sheesh.


Rollin' rollin' rollin' Rawhide!

Fallout: New Vegas has pleasantly surprised me like money-down-your-sofa pleasantly surprises everyone. I think I may finish this one.

As for the BoB assignment? Having not played the game that much I cannot really attempt a fan-fiction, battle tactics or much else based on so little play time; but so far, I pretty much am my English gentlemanly self dressed in a zoot suit walking across the wastelands trying to stay alive so I can steal borrow cutlery and ingredients for tea. That's my narcissistic fiction. I'll let you know if I find biscuits too.

That's enough jibber-jabber from me, Private Luck. I'm going back in to finish my story. Back to the trenches, send reinforcements!









I've only just celebrated my one year anniversary here at Destructoid; I officially signed up in February 2014 after lurking for a couple of years in awe of the GIF bombs in the front page articles comments' sections. It's been good so far.

I don't like outstaying my welcome so I'll keep this brief. Thinking of nine Dtoiders that shaped me over the past months is daunting, as you know. Nine wise men and women that have touched me in a way that has brought out the spiritual Hawkman in me, and made me soar higher than I've ever soared before? A blog about nine fantastical beings of angelic valour and honour that have drawn the best from me? Yeah, that is going to be not happening. Instead, I'm going talk about my first proper year here and try not to mention anyone. Otherwise someone will be upset. Like the guy scrolling through this right now looking for their name. It's not here, bub!

In Feb '14, a certain Shadaloo-er angered me so much that I was forced to come out of lurking and make an account. Because of him I had to fill out a form. There were questions! I had to think! Damn it. And him! After the interrogation I had become a Dtoider. Say it slow. A. Dtoider. Nice. Turning my attention back to the dictator, I thought about how I was going to reply. Embarrass him? Call him out? Swear at him! Fart and throw it at the screen hoping he'd smell it?! Once I had wiped, flushed and regained my composure I decided to jump into the comments and call him out about his unwise words. I posted a picture of The Dude saying 'that's your opinion, man'. To be non-confrontational. I grew to understand him better over time and he's not so bad. Let's move on from this as I can sense the stirring out there. He is like Marmite.

From there I met several dozen posters who I spent a great deal of time shooting shit with. There are posters out there (hopefully reading) that made me laugh with their words, and humbled me with their friendliness which they kindly fanned towards me. I cannot name them all because I would break the 9 limit. (Shit, I just realised that could be a 'over 9000' joke.) I don't want to leave anyone's name out as it would just not be fair.

However, quite a few of these fellow Dtoiders were also doing else something on the side that I would fall in love with – blogging.

At one point I had grown tired of some of the behaviour on the front page and took a step back from the pettiness. I wondered into the sidebar and was met with something heartfelt and personal. I think I found something better than Spiderman .JPG threads. The community blogs. The c-blogs are very powerful at times and at other times oh-so-silly and sometimes funny. And sometimes they can be shit. That rarely lasts, though, as something will come along and restore balance.

Do I mention staff? Is that ass-kissy? Screw it. Most started as commentators and evolved. Therefore the staff here is great, even the ones that left. Here, they are more than just a name and a email or twitter link. They are Dtoiders, too. I'm fortunate to have had some sort of contact with just about all of them so I can say I really like them (mwah mwah oh, this is ass-kissy, darn it). I'm trying to give everyone here a fair shake (willy joke) and I want to include just about everyone because... I want to. Leave no-one behind (ass joke).

Truly everyone has affected me here. Not just the ones I have had contact with; but also the ones still out there who have yet to, but will soon one day impress us with their (intro) blog. That's why it's too difficult to pick just nine of you. You have all encouraged me. Shaped me. Dtoid'd me. To stay. To come back the next day for more. For the Destruction of discussion, decadence and dicks. I mean cocks.

Whoops, I said I'd keep this brief, but I can't name nine Dtoiders. I won't. I say nein to nine! I'd rather forfeit the badge.

If you've ever had a conversation with me, I love you. And if it was remotely positive, I really mean it - I love you.









Hello all! I'm back with another contest. Last time was on xmas day FFS! Two lucky winners have walked away with a copy of The Witcher 3 and Cuphead. This week it's back to the random cheap shit goodies!

Hope you're all well and dandy. Allow me to quickly offer a brief personal catch up.

I am bored and tired of work lately and have hit a wall. I don't want to do much these days but sleep. I keep wondering where the hours are disappearing to; I was going to use them to do stuff, but too late they're gone.
The 3 mile walk to work has helped me lose weight and I am getting svelte like a reserve Chippendale. I said reserve. 8(

Been trying to catch up with all the blogs that get published as usual so try not to be too surprised when I finally get around to commenting. I am the tortoise.

Had to stomach saying goodbye to a few friends this week who left for better opportunities and new adventures. Wish I was going with them. Soon. Save that money.

I still have to play my Secret Santa gift from the always awesome El Dango. Ha. No, I will find time to play it, I promise. (Shit why'd I type that out now I have to do it.)

If you have not mounted a Dtoider in recent weeks, what are you doing with your life? Grab a copy of the game (Mount Your Friends), some baby oil, snap on a thong (sorry, muscley bro pants) and get busy. I want to link Stan Bush's "You Got The Touch" but I don't want to associate the nightmares with the song. Too late?

Incidentally, I just got 'round to watching Battleship and enjoyed it. Not as much as say "Leon", but still I liked it. I don't know what's wrong with me neither.

Let's get silly!

Simple game: I regularly post a picture, you caption it.

The winner is the comment with the most upvotes. The winner will also receive a prize for their efforts.

 

What is this?

 something evil is going on!

You can if you want but there's no need to save the picture and graft text on to it, just leave your captions (in your own style) in the comments below, kinda like so:

Comment example:

Barry: "Blah."
Jill: "Blah."

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 Rules

1. Sometimes you should just say 'fuck this, I'm done' and walk away.

2. Never lose your cool.

3. Don't feel a ounce of guilt for having a pizza after a chinese takeaway. You deserve it.

4. If all roads lead to Rome, what was the point of building them?

5. If have still not taken your xmas decorations down you will be neutralised.

Caption Competition is open to all globally. That includes this drawing of the A-Team van.

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Last time's winner is... Tonich!

Tonich makes his weight known to all that he is a heavy hitter pressuring for victory! Well done! You win The Witcher 3!

Nanashi takes the runner up prize, a copy of Cuphead!

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A quick message to all the lovely folks who take time to read my blogs: thank you. If you've read this blog then please upvote people making captions. No need to fap (heart) this blog but please do check back and upvote the partcipants. I thank you, kindly.
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Why is there music? To help get your creative juices flowing and you all fired up to make awesome captions. This week I'm back on the Tycho teat, I just can't stop enjoying this artist's work.









This week it's some sort of special occassion, people are talking in hushed tones and children are laughing with delight in anticipation. That's right it's time for one of my contest blogs. Yay. I mean, YAY! Ugh, it's a lazy afternoon here and I am sipping tea whilst having my very first xmas on my own. I'll see my family and friends soon - should've gone today, but I wanted to see what it felt like not having anyone around on the day itself. Yeah, it suuucks.

You know what doesn't suck? Free stuff.

For this edition of Caption Contest I am going to mention the prize up-front so you know what you're getting.

The Witcher 3



A DRM-free digital download of the game from GOG. Here's a link below with much more information that I cannot be bothered to re-type out here. It's pretty swaggery. Yeah, I can't believe I used that word too.

http://www.gog.com/thewitcher3/en

You do get a ton of free stuff, so read it through and ponder if it is for you. Fair warning though, the game is not released until MAY 2015... So it will be some time before you receive it.
You will need to provide an email for me to send you the link; make a new email address if you want (just to be safe), but you can trust me, I'm sensible.

There is also a runner up's prize which is:

Cuphead

http://cupheadgame.com

Also a 2015 release (hopefully). So you won't feel too left out. 1st place winner has the option to choose between the two gifts, just incase the The Witcher series isn't for you.

No special rules here, just make a caption for the picture below as usual
, make the community laugh, get some upvotes, win shit. What's not to like? So without further ado...

Let's get silly!

Simple game: I regularly post a picture, you caption it.

The winner is the comment with the most upvotes. The winner will also receive a non-mystery prize for their efforts this week.

 

What is going on here?

 

You can if you want but there's no need to save the picture and graft text on to it, just leave your captions (in your own style) in the comments below, kinda like so:

Comment example:

Raiden: "Blah."
Snake: "Blah."

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 Rules

1. I've met some truly wonderful people, and some not so wonderful people. Thank TPTB for the former.

2. I'm going to count to three. There will not be a four.

3. Good Luck. (Don't say thank you!)

4. There is no Turbo Man doll.

5. Happy Holidays!

Caption Competition is open to all globally. That includes Santa cuz he's fucking real! *sobs*
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Last time's winner is... SirNinjaFace!

SirNinjaFace sneaks past the slumbering weak to turn down fame, fortune and glory in order to leave no trace of his victory! Well done!

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A quick message to all the lovely folks who take time to read my blogs: thank you. If you've read this blog then please upvote people making captions. No need to fap (heart) this blog but please do check back and upvote the partcipants. I thank you, kindly.
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Why is there music? To help get your creative juices flowing and you all fired up to make awesome captions.

This week's music is provided by Dtoid's very own Tonich and his band, The Heckfish.