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About

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Life doing its usual thing to me. You feelin' it, too?



I think Vanessa could take Samus.


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Roughly Ten Things About Me:
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I'm an European-Asian male living under the rule of a monarchy.

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I am not a writer; I am a crayonologist. I enjoy shredding paper with pencils. It's extremely cathartic.

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I'm very passionate about reading, it helps me pretend I'm English (wot wot). My favourite book is Alexandre Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo".

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I love listening to music on trains, in parks, sprawled out on my bed and during gaming. I like any genre; favourite artists include: Underworld, James Brown, The Police, David Gray, The Kinks, Johnny Cash, Foo Fighters and Jimi Hendrix.

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I adore film and popcorn. Popcorn slightly more. I couldn't pick a favourite film but I do tend to shy away from horror. Oh, fuggit I'll name-drop Leon and Gladiator.

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Like fellow Dtoiders I also game.

| My Top Ten | My GOAT Game | My Sega Saturn |
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Other things include: drinking too much tea, unashamedly singing poorly, making shallow attempts at keeping fit, and thinking too much.

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Finally, I'm an enthusiastic cook. Currently obsessed with making quiche. Was obsessed with focaccia.


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BLOGRONOMICON 2nd Edition
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Let's get silly!

Simple game: I regularly post a picture, you caption it.

The winner is the comment with the most upvotes. The winner will also receive a mystery prize for their efforts.

 

What are these guys playing at?

 

 
You can if you want but there's no need to save the picture and graft text on to it, just leave your captions (in your own style) in the comments below, kinda like so:

Comment example:

Pikmin: "Blah!!!"
Kirby: "Blah???"

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 Rules

1. I have been failing behind on blogs, so don't be surprised by late replies to your blogs.

2. Why do random people creep up behind you and try to out pace you while you're out walking? Weirdos.

3. Or those oncoming dumbasses who just walk into your path and expect you to move out of their way now, like they're some kind of fat Kirby. Suckers.

4. I feel like Akira'ing crazy cyclists off their bicycles sometimes.

5. Bit miserable this week, cuz it's so cold and I want to hug you all.

Caption Competition is open to all globally. That includes Mrs Robinson.
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Last Week's Winner is... RenaudB90!


Sacré bleu, with this entry RenaudB90 crusades to victory! Well done! Now check your PMs.

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A quick message to all the lovely folks who take time to read my blogs: thank you. If you've read this blog then please upvote people making captions. No need to fap (heart) this blog but please do check back and upvote the partcipants. I thank you, kindly.
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Why is there music? To help get your creative juices flowing and all fired up to make awesome captions. Thunder. Thunder! THUNDER! THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!









Bless me, Father Wrenchfarm, for I have sinned. It's been far too long since my last confession, and I accuse myself of the following sins:

Let me briefly explain some background to my confession. I was raised as the second of four children by a newly divorced single mother who busted her back (had three surgeries) working a minimum wage job for fourteen hours a day, six days a week - along with a half day on Sunday so she had time to go to church and pray - for pretty much her entire career. Spare money? Disposable income? Father, money itself was rarity in our household. So with that in mind, it is with deep regret that I must confess to something I still, to this day, feel bad about. Something I did a long time ago. Now, at thirty-six years of age it is something I still cannot look back on without guilt in my heart.

It was summer, '86 or '87, an usually cold day, perhaps early autumn. I was about eight or nine, my dear mum send me out to get the weekly groceries. She handed me a £20 note and guided a resistful me to the front door. "Be back quick.", she said. I shoved the twenty deep into my pocket and grumpily walked off, chin tucked into my chest, through the cold wind wondering why my older brother was not with me this time. You see, Father, we always did the shopping together. However, whenever we did go food shopping together for our mum we'd make a detour – we would stop off at the local kebab house (or taxi place) to check out the newest arcade games they had. Without my brother by my side who would I two-player with? Forgive the excitement in my voice, Father, but those were joyful those times. I had little time to wonder why my older brother had been held back as I needed to shift my focus towards road safety and be careful; there were many roads to cross ahead on the way to the store and I was instructed to be quick that day - mum was very insistent.

The actual one hour job could end up taking at least an hour and a half, sometimes two. From our home we would walk about a mile - the distractions where located naturally along the route - to the shop, quickly grab whatever we needed on the list, agitatedly wait in the much and often exaggerated check-out line and then rush back home. It was this fabricated inflated queuing time that we would use to cover up our play time. As bad as lying to my mum is, that isn't the worst part, Father. Not this day, anyway.
I recited the item's aisle locations over in my head to minimise the amount of time I'd spend in the store, this way I could extend my time with the arcade games. Without an extra pair of hands I would need to be precise. I ran to save time. I could see the store appearing in the distance and knew what I had to do. Into the kebab shop I diverted.

Mario's Kebab House. Father, this place was notorious for its contemporary arcade scene, only the dedicated arcade emporiums in the city centre had more recent and bloated examples. The amount of games I played there over the years... ah, wow... for instance: Street Fighter, Area 88, Robocop, Two Crude Dudes, Toki, DonPachi, R-Type, Double Dragon, Saint Dragon, Knights Of The Round, Sunset Riders, Final Fight, Ninja Gaiden Arcade, Lethal Enforcers, Chase HQ, Captain Commando, TMHT, Snow Brothers, Legend of Hero Tonma, New Zealand Story, Virtua Cop, Bubble Bobble, Ghosts 'n Goblins, Double Dragon 3: Rosetta Stone, Street Fighter 2, Gradius, Mortal Kombat 2, Darkstalkers, Tekken-what? Yes. Sorry Father. You're right, I am getting off track.

I struggled to push open the stiff, blue neon lit, glass door with both my nine-ish year old hands, the door almost seemed to somehow harbour the weight of my mother's disapproval behind it. As I stepped inside I was welcomed by a warm rush of air carrying with it that unique tangy smell of roasting meat. Ah, I'm home I thought. Fat Mario (a portly Greek fella) was leaning over a newspaper behind the counter, looked up and greeted me with disappointment – he knew I wasn't there for his food. To my shame, Father, I must have ordered only a handful of times over the many years he was in business.
The games' sound-effects and music started to get louder as they filled my ears. I darted over, excited to see what games were running. I had to stand on tip-toe sometimes due to the height of the machines, but thankfully Fat Mario always had a footstool reliably nearby. As I grew up over the following years, I came to appreciate what a nice and tolerate gentleman Mario was - not only for hosting a great selection of games but for also not kicking me out of his kebab house. Bless him, Father, I hope his life went well.

The hypnotising flicker of the screen in front of my giddy little face had a flashing message asking me to "insert coin". I needed to break the twenty note into change, I'll order some french fries, I thought. I reached into my right pocket and scraped around. Hmm. I checked my left pocket. OK. I re-examined the right pocket. I fumbled over to the window and lent over my self to peer into my pockets, using the bright day to light up each pocket. Nothing. The colour in my face drained away. I felt a chill crawl up my neck and over my head as I stood frozen inside the heated kebab shop. Staring at my reflection in the window, I gritted my teeth and hissed "You twat!"--Sorry, Father--at myself. My eyes welled up with tears as I got angrier at my reflection. I had lost the money, Father.

I tried to piece together where I could have dropped it. Somehow it fell out of my pocket. Where? Crossing the roads? I retraced my steps but never did find out. I felt so guilty and so much dread that I didn't want to go home. I couldn't face my hard-working mother who trusted me to be a sensible young man. I was panic-stricken, which made the walk home feel never-ending. How do I explain myself? How will mum react?! Money was tight, in short supply, and never to be wasted. And I'd lost a week's worth of food shopping money.

Quietly, and heavily sulking, I returned home nearly three hours later. Even though she took the news really well and it was high among the many stupid things I had done as a youngster, it was one of the few times I didn't get yelled at. Over the next few days I scolded myself more than she ever would or did. Yet, it still burns me up today. And mum could see how bad I felt when I returned with empty hands and pockets. That day I made a promise to myself that I would pay her back a hundred times over when I got older and had a job. And, you know what, Father, I'm proud to say I did just that and more.

However, I still need and seek your forgiveness, Father Wrenchfarm. You see, although I came clean about losing the money, I never told her why we would take so long to do the weekly shopping run.

 

(To those who are a little confused about this blog it is in response to an idea that WrenchFarm planted in his final Recap blog. Nanashi and I decided in the comments to expand upon on this and so here we are. Do you have anything to confess?)









Let's get silly!

Simple game: I regularly post a picture, you caption it.

The winner is the comment with the most upvotes. The winner will also receive a mystery prize for their efforts.

 

Is Big Boss offering advice or copping a feel?

 

 
You can if you want but there's no need to save the picture and graft text on to it, just leave your captions (in your own style) in the comments below, kinda like so:

Comment example:

Quiet: "Blah!!!"
Big Boss: "Blah???"

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 Rules

1. If I drop one more slice of toast this week I'm gonna cry big manly tears.

2. Keanu Reeves' new film John Wick looks effing awesome, check it out!

3. I love reading blogs!

4. Is Doom 4 out yet?

5. Big love to Nic Rowen, Andy Dixon and Occams for leaving the toilet seat down after leaving.

Caption Competition is open to all globally. That includes Predators for a limited time only - it is hunting season somewhere afterall.
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Last Week's Winner is... GajKnight!

With this entry GajKnight's armour holds strong against all challengers to his crown, ushering in a second victorious reign. Well done! Now check your PMs.

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A quick message to all the lovely folks who take time to read my blogs: thank you. If you've read this blog then please upvote people making captions. No need to fap (heart) this blog but please do check back and upvote the partcipants. I thank you, kindly.
_____________________________________________________________________  

Why is there music? To help get your creative juices flowing and all fired up to make awesome captions. There is a better version by Myuu but the 55 second intro drags on, ruining it for me. Konami is the common denominator here, linking picture and music.









When I was younger I watched a film by Steven Spielberg about a fish. It was very good, so good in fact that it left me with a terrible fear. An irrational fear that still gnaws at me today. Cripes …I can feel the room starting to liquefy around me as I begin to get that sinking feeling, but I’m nowhere near open waters. My taps are shut tightly and my dripping shower is definitely off. That leaves the uncovered toilet as the only portal which they can burst through and lunge towards my neck from. Excuse me, I have to go put the seat and lid down.
I like going for a swim. I used to anyway. Brought my school several victories while I was on the team, was fairly decent until I saw that film. I don’t do it much anymore. I could swear I just saw a dorsal fin. Hum, never mind.

In the autumn of 1996 I got my hands on Resident Evil thanks to my older brother. At eighteen, with the final year of college starting in September I thought I should make the most of my time and prepare myself academically for the return to campus by playing Resident Evil. Then I’d have something cool to talk about when I saw my friends. Maintaining the hope that none of them had been pulled under stepping over puddles.

There are many scary moments in Resident Evil (we weren’t as jaded with the series back then) and it’s difficult to leave one out or place them in a numerical order of effectiveness. For me, however, there is one moment that brings back those seasick soaked memories of retching over the port side of boats during sponsored aquatic school trips. I need my harpoon.

Running to the Guard House, I fumble around trying to concoct a potion to destroy Plant 42 at the root. To do this I have to go underground from the one of the dorm rooms and head down into an large U-shaped barren concrete corridor with a watery gap midway along it that needs to be filled with a few crates to allow progress. (The music should sound familiar about now.) Wading through now hip-high water I head through a secure double door. Damn water, can’t run as fast as I could before. Oh, an aquarium. A large one at that. Wonder what was inside it... Ooh, a cut scene has kicked in. Something is coming towards me from behind! (I hadn’t saved for a while, my health must have been low but not so low that Jill was limping.) Ack! It’s those things, they’re snapping at my heels, biting me! I bob away - slowly. Arching my way around the corner… only to come face to face with an even larger dead-eyed bastard. My pulse is excited, my palms are slippery and my feet feel like they are on glossy ice. 

I didn’t make it that first time. I was crushed that now a huge chunk of the game needed to be replayed all over again. I needed a breather anyway. Shocked but amazed, I contemplated what had just happened and how wonderful it was. Back then I couldn’t fire off my thoughts in an online blog, and no one was around to hear me, so I had to let them shoot around in my head until they settled. That was very cool, I thought: well done, Mikami-san.

This fintastic moment is amplified greatly in Resident Evil Remake; and you'll get to re-experience this once again, for some it will be their very first time, with the newer Resident Evil Remake HD Remaster. I know, it’s a right royal rite of renaming ridiculousness, really is. I’ve tried not to be too specific and spoil it too much. I’d love for you to have your own memory of it.

 

Thanks for spending some time with me and my thoughts.








Luckrequired
1:42 PM on 10.07.2014

Go ahead Smashers pick and vote for your favourite!

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 drakithu

 

 








Luckrequired
11:33 AM on 10.05.2014

Let's get silly!

Simple game: I regularly post a picture, you caption it.

The winner is the comment with the most upvotes. The winner will also receive a mystery prize for their efforts.

 

What are these two up to?

collusion?

 

You can if you want but there's no need to save the picture and graft text on to it, just leave your captions (in your own style) in the comments below, kinda like so:

Comment example:

Sheik: "Blah."
Link: "Blah?"

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 Rules

1. RE6 is poo, if you like it then so are you! Oh yeah, whatcha gonna do? Bes' step off, foo'.

2. Rhyming is dumb. It's true.

3. I have a serious jonesin' for meringues drizzled with rasperry coulis and Belgium chocolate. Now you do, too.

4. I really need some dtoiders to play Quake Live with. *begs* How about you?

5. There's this woman at work who always makes me blush with her beauty, I turn into a dork around her. She's married. I'm smitten. I hate this life rule that states the good ones are always taken. Now I'm blue.

Caption Competition is open to all globally. That includes Manatees.
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Last Week's Winner is... ShadeOfLight!

ShadeOfLight


With
this entry ShadeOfLight emerges from the darkness into the blinding light of victory. Well done! Now check your PMs.

_____________________________________________________________________

A quick message to all the lovely folks who take time to read my blogs and what-not: thank you. If you've read this blog then please upvote people making captions. No need to fap (heart) this blog but please do check back and upvote the partcipants. I thank you, kindly.
_____________________________________________________________________  

Why is there music? To help get your creative juices flowing and all fired up to make awesome captions. Mostly because I love this soothing lullaby.