BakedMarcel420 on Gender Politics - Destructoid

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My first name is Lou, but my second name isn't Chou. That's a bit I stole from an amazing movie called "All About Lily Chou Chou" to round off my gaming handle.

Like seemingly 90% of the internet, I aspire to write about video games professionally. The culture, community, and to some extent the industry surrounding gaming are something I'd like to live from day to day.

I've been playing video games since I was about 3. My older brother traded 2 packs of cigarettes for his friend's Commodore 64. His friend was ludicrously rich, so it was a pretty amazing deal. I used to play a lot of Paperboy and Batman on that thing. The latter would give me a fucking headache though, they only used, like, 2 colors when they developed that thing.

The best game I've ever played is Final Fantasy VII. I'm sorry I can't pick something obscure and cool, but it had a profound effect on me. I mean, to the point where I was having FFVII-based dreams every other night. I fucking loved that game, and I wouldn't dare play it again now. It needs to stay in that period of time for me.

I have a personal gaming blog, which may well live here:

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The following comes courtesy of a mysterious guy by the name of BakedMarcel420, enjoy…

So some trick was all like talking about his college class and shit and he was talking about the females and how they get “objectified”, or some word like that. And I was like “those broads seem pretty on it to me, they get to wear those awesome tight suits and have gigantic titties! That shit just boosts self-esteem, man.” And it’s true! Other femmes see these chicks in leather skin-tight suits and it gives them, like, ya know, shit to aspire to and stuff. Girls just wanna feel good about themselves, and if you’s a chick who’s rockin’ some monster cleavage and a big, g-stringed ass then you probably gonna be all like fucking getting the confidence to be a lawyer or a dental hygienist or even, like, a cheerleader for the San Diego Chargers or some shit. The sky’s the limit for that broad, yo.

Look at that Lara Croft chick, she’s just tearin’ it up on the tits and ass front, and that bitch lives in a mansion! She has fucking Ask Jeeves following her around her own estate while she does backflips over his dusty ass. The bitch is rich!

It don’t even stop with treasure-hunting or nothin’, you could be like a fucking Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball athlete broad and despite your ta-ta’s weighin’ like half your body mass you still manage to win major volleyball tournaments and shit. That’s empowerin’ for two reasons see, because you’s a professional dedicated to the game and you successful as fuck, but you’s also like “fuck you, gravity!” and them breastuses bouncing to the beat of they own drum. It’s inspirational.

Ain’t no objectifying going on, the only politrickin’ happenin’ here is that they ain’t more of these thick-ass Bettys in gaming, because they’s the ones handlin’ they fuckin’ bih-ness. Ain’t no skinny-ass, broke-ass, A-cup Aeris making bank! That bitch gets KERPLOW’d through the heart on some 187 shit. Probably because she livin’ in some ghetto ass ‘hood where these transgender, grey-haired motherfuckers in black dusters be carrying huge, fuck-you-up samurai swords around. Now TIFA on the other hand… DAMN! The front on that bitch be creating its own cup-sizes, and, what the fuck do ya know, surprise surprise, she go on to save the fucking planet.

Case/point, if you wanna save the world, or be a dental hygienist, or hunt for treasure and have your own wrinkly-ass British butler who gets a bone any time you wearin’ short-shorts, you need rack. Otherwise you gettin’ an 8-foot sword through yo chest. Fact.

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Living the dream since March 16, 2006

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