Sup fools, I'm Lord Gloom (or LG to the hipsters), and I am poor.

That's pretty much it.

Look upon this horror and tell me you feel naught but pity for my soul. Note the peeling Windows MCE sticker. I shudder to think that the day and night whirr belongs to this machine.



My computer screen, some water and cough drops, and a Wii. Nothing really notable here.



Well, I'm not exactly sure how that got there.

I bet you're wondering by now, "Gee Mr. Gloom, with such an awesome computer, why would you even consider a new one? That seems redundant."

Quite simply put, I want to make the Turning Point PC even more awesome than it currently is.

TO DO LIST:

- The image is alright, but could be better. Superimpose an American flag.

- Get rid of the falcon. Replace it with a bald eagle.

- Get rid of the eagle's eye. Replace it with a laser.

- Add another case fan to make sure it doesn't overheat.



And just to be sure it doesn't overheat:

- Place computer in fish tank.



- Replace power cables with electric eels.

Some would think that openly throwing around money for great reviews would have gone out of fashion after the Gerstmann fiasco, but do you think that Spike TV would really let that stop them?





Though it didn't win Game of the Year, Halo 3 held its own, taking home the trophies for Best Multiplayer and Most Addictive Game Fueled By Dew. Wait, what?

Is this award a tongue-in-cheek mockery of Gamespot, a veritable go-fuck-yourself to gamers, or just characteristic stupidity from Spike TV?