No seriously.

I've read up on all of the orientation material and I'm opening up shop for a new blog. In an effort not to suck too hard the first time up, here are some fake Valve achievements I spent an hour on while waiting for a midnight screening of Watchmen.

I'm a recent convert the advancement system. What I like most about them are the clever little wordplays and positive reinforcements. There is no other form of mass media that can offer such a personalized bit of “way to go” without faking it or diluting it.

To the uninitiated, playing video games is a hobby that always needs to be justified. You need to explain to people that these zeros and ones make up a rich and visceral experience and convince them that you aren't “pissing your life away” when you spend hours on end being wired. It's the little touches of uniqueness like this that help make the case that “the vidjagames” are different kind of distraction.

On a similar note, I find it fascinating that the little world that video games create enable justice to be inflicted. I encountered a pre-teen on a Left 4 Dead campaign who constantly screamed and whined into his mike while he was dead. (Hence the “take a hint achievement)We kept him out of the safe room. Try doing that with a movie.

Now, on to the fake achievements: