Lexingtongue's Profile - Destructoid

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Gamer for 20+ years, big fiction reader, prolific reviewer. Lover of the shmup and rhythm genre.

Author of one post-apocalyptic novel (The Wanderer) and one collection of horror short stories (Wither).


Alien Isolation by Creative Assembly is an obvious labour of love. Every effort has been made to ensure they stick faithfully to the source material and as a result they have crafted a tense, nerve-racking and atmospheric experience. From the 70s green-screen computer tech used in the original movie, to characters choked to death with rolled up magazines we have continuous references to Ridley Scott's breathtaking film.

We take control of Amanda Ripley, daughter of Sigourney Weaver's Ellen, as she heads to Sevastopol, a decrepit and dilapidated space port on the edge of space. On the station is the recently discovered flight recorder from the Nostromo, her mother's ship, which was destroyed at the end of the 1979 movie to stop the xenomorph from being acquired by the shady Weyland-Yutani corporation. Looking for closure, Ripley heads to Sevastopol with Nina Taylor and synthetic Christopher Samuels to collect the device.

The game immediately thrusts the player into a tense set piece. On arriving at the station the crew on board the Torrens notice that the structure seems to have taken massive damage. Unable to dock with Sevastopol, Ripley, Taylor and Samuels resolve to space walk there instead. Once out of the ship, their guidance cord is cut and the trio are lucky to make it to the station alive. Separated from her companions, Ripley must make her way through the ruined station avoiding not just the intimidating alien but also crazed androids and hostile human enemies. Thus begins a journey that bears striking resemblances to the original film and is by far one of the most tense I've ever experienced on a home console.

Alien Isolation starts of as pretty much a stealth game. As you make your way around Sevastopol you will begin to find parts that can be used to craft weapons and discover items that are famous to the franchise - the motion tracker and flamethrower eventually make appearances in game. Collecting these tools will eventually allow you to become a little braver - before acquiring that burst of flame being spotted by the alien means certain death. Additionally, Amanda, industrious as her mother, can forge scrap and gathered junk into items far deadlier than the sum of their parts - whether it is an EMP used to stun an android or a smoke bomb used to cover her tracks from human assailants. As an engineer she is also proficient with another Alien favourite, the blowtorch. She must combine all of her numerous skills to even stand a chance of finding her answers and making it off the crippled station in one piece.

We should make one thing clear from the start here - Alien Isolation is a very difficult game. If you like to have everything explained to you by tutorials you will find Alien's spartan instructions baffling. As far as I can remember I can recall only one semi-detailed tutorial pop up in the entire game when you first open a rewire point. Similarly, if you get frustrated by dying often or repeating the same section of a level over and over then you'll probably grow tired of Isolation rather quickly. Like Limbo this game is essentially a 'trial by death' title which requires you to die a lot in order to figure out how to efficiently progress through a stage to your next objective. However, whereas Limbo has scenarios that pan out exactly the same each time, Isolation's randomised enemy patterns make progressing in this title all that more harder. This can be frustrating, and you will come to areas that will have you pulling your hair out, but when you manage to make it to the next chapter mere seconds ahead of the charging xenomorph the overwhelming sense of relief and accomplishment are palpable.

I've seen a number of complaints about the graphics on the XboxOne and PS4 versions but for me, although not on par with the PC version, they were more than passable. The designers have done a sterling job of recreating a similar aesthetic to the Nostromo and any Alien fan will appreciate the low-tech grim corridors, white cushion-padded walls of the sleeping quarters and the over-the-top flashing lights of the huge central processing areas. We revisit some familiar areas and they have been reproduced wonderfully. I did spot a few graphical problems such as infrequent pop in, some low res textures (especially when viewing Sevastopol station from the outside) and some basic steam/dust/electrical effects but overall I though the graphics were fine.

Alien Isolation is, of course, not without its problems. If you play the game before installing a sizeable update you will have issues with jumpy animations and juttery cutscenes. Even with the update applied we have some occasional graphical glitches such as texture pop ins and unnatural character movements. There are a few last gen tropes as well. You'll be having a conversation with a few characters who never move their lips, choosing to throw their voice instead. Early on we will come across huge areas that are blocked off by an insurmountable row of suitcases which really shouldn't be happening in this day and age. When being chased by androids or humans we can often be cut off from safety by nothing more than a foot high rise in the flooring.

As already mentioned the difficulty and repetition might be too great for some - I played on the hardest setting and encountered many troublesome locations that I had to retry over and over but even on the easy setting the challenge level is still steep. Without the flamethrower or a molotov, being spotted by the alien is a guaranteed one hit death on any difficulty. The fact that you are more heavily tooled near the end of the game basically flips the difficulty curve making the game harder at the beginning and less so towards its conclusion. I also found that extreme stealth is just as likely to get you killed as being adventurous. After a great many deaths while crouch-walking through levels I eventually adapted to being more brazen in my approach which I actually found more beneficial. Objectives can be unclear at times and we get the usual stealth game problems such as characters ignoring your obviously noticeable position then later on spotting you inexplicably from a mile off.

You might also find problems with the excessively long load times in game. Often when you enter a new locale you will find a save phone nearby but this is not always the case and the auto-save function is patchy at best. The first thing you should do when moving between areas with load screens is find a save point. If you die before doing so you will have to sit through the load screen again as the previous area is reloaded, make your way to the travel point and sit through the reloading of that next area once again. This happened on more than one occasion with me and I must admit I found it infuriating. I had no problem with the number of save phones like many others (they are actually in great abundance, but if you don't pass close enough to one then it won't pop up on your map) but a guaranteed auto-save would have been beneficial when moving between areas that require long load times.

After all your hard work the ending has to be one of the shortest and weakest of any game ever! It's a good job the journey to get there is fully worth it!

For me, however, the biggest negative is the over reliance on the appearance of the alien. In the first few chapters spotting the horrible thing dropping out of a vent will have your heart in your mouth as you rush to hide in the nearest locker. However, you will find yourself being spotted and killed by the alien so often as you progress that eventually being brutalised by it loses a little of its shock value. Towards the end of the game I felt less fearful when I was in a room with the thing, and if spotted I would just press the option button and load my last save. The alien is still used to good effect overall, but if its appearance was even marginally less frequent I feel the game might have been all the more scary for it.

Overall, any Alien fan should take the plunge and buy this game immediately. This, along with the original Alien vs Predator PC game, is one of the best Alien video games ever made and is as close as you'll ever get to being stalked by the galaxy's ultimate killing machine or the atmosphere of the legendary first film. Any consumers caught in two minds should give it a pop - as long as you aren't weak of heart and scared of a punishing challenge you'll probably find something to enjoy within the game's claustrophobic halls! If you can overlook the highlighted problems and not blow a gasket during the many frustrating moments, Alien Isolation will likely turn out to be a very memorable experience. Never has shaking with anxiety and dripping with cold sweat been so enjoyable!


Rating: 5/5

I'll never forget the day I bought the original Project Diva f for my Vita. A lone foreigner wandering into a Japanese movie rental place, picking up a vocaloid game and taking it sheepishly to the counter. One of the most embarrassing video game purchase moments of my lifetime - there's a certain stigma attached to these games in Japan, namely that they are only played by friendless nerds (or so my ex-girlfriend told me!). I guess I have to hold my hands up on that one...

Anyway, after getting it back to my apartment and taking a moment to overcome the shame of what I'd just purchased, I popped the game into my Vita and fired it up. My embarrassment was quickly forgotten as I became engulfed in the simple but addictive world of my first Hatsune Miku rhythm game. I spent hours on that version, despite it being in Japanese and my not being fluent in that tongue, and as soon as I heard of a sequel I grew excited and knew I'd have to have it. Luckily I was able to order this one from the safety of my own home - and in English too!

This game is a rhythm title. It involves you pressing the Vita's face buttons in time with the music. The appropriate button prompts can appear anywhere on the Vita screen and the timing prompts (which must be pressed when the two fully overlap) can float in from off-screen at unusual angles in order to increase difficulty. Further curve balls are thrown at the player including prompts that require the button to be held and released precisely and double button presses (for example, O and the right d-pad button). Also returning from the first Vita release are the much maligned touch-screen scratches only this time a few new additions have been included to expand this dubious design choice including double finger swipes and chained swipes. Luckily in this version you are offered the chance to use the analogue sticks as an alternative input method.

All the songs in-game are performed by a number of computer programmed singers called vocaloids. There are a total of six characters each with their own unique vocal effects. They sing to a variety of genres including rock and roll, ballads, J-Pop and electronic dance. For the most part, the quality of the songs is high, but there are one or two stinkers included. There are a number of really catchy songs that will implant themselves in your head and have you humming the tune long after you quit playing.

The mechanics of the game, just like the original, are extremely tight. making this one of the most polished rhythm titles out there. Buttons presses are registered instantly and I have encountered no evidence of lag affecting performance on the Vita. Sound quality is good from the Vita speakers and much better when a decent set of headphones are used (the game recommends you use earphones for the best possible experience). Graphically the game looks very good although you will be so focused on catching the button prompts that you will barely notice what is going on in the background! You do have the option of watching the videos in a theatre mode and they are produced to a very high standard, each with its own theme, set of characters and dance routines. You even have an AR option which allows you to watch Hatsune Miku perform in your very own front room/bedroom/kitchen!

Difficulty is balanced but much more intense than the first Vita version. Some rhythm games can be brutally punishing, but Project Diva f has a rather more forgiving learning curve. As usual with this type of game, practice makes perfect and with dedication and effort you should be banging out PERFECT stage ratings in no time - if your fingers can keep up with your brain that is!

As you play through the game you will begin to unlock a myriad of hidden items. Gaining high ranks will unlock new tracks that can be played as well as rewarding the player with Diva points which can be used to unlock new costumes for the characters, living pods that can be personalised for each character and specialised tags that can be applied to your online profile. There is a sizeable and challenging trophy list, too, that won't isolate less able players (some rhythm games require players to PERFECT all songs across all difficulties, but thankfully this is not so in this title). These two factors ensure that you will get a massive amount of play time from the game, something that should fall under your consideration if you are considering the RRP in your purchase decision. DLC already released in Japan will also make its way to these shores, adding more songs and outfits to the game should you buy them.

There is also an option for you to create your own patterns for any of the songs in the game and upload them for others to download and play online. This is a great feature, but the edit mode (which is available as a separate 900mb download from the Playstation Store) can be quite complex to navigate around and will take some getting used to. Luckily there is an in-depth guide on how to use it included in the digital manual of the game (this can be accessed on the screen that pops up when you tap the game icon bubble from the Vita home screen). This version also allows the user to import their own MP3 tracks which should allow for extreme creative types to knock out some amazing custom tracks to their favourite songs. Downloading these user made tracks should also add quite a bit of longevity to the game.

I'm really enjoying this game but there are one or two things I must talk about in a less positive light. One of the things that the developers have done to increase the difficulty of this title is to programme in much more complex button patterns and this can cause problems. The prompts that appear sometimes pop up rapidly and in unusual shapes making it difficult (without memorising a song) to figure out which prompt follows another. Another decision I'm not fond of is that occasionally the prompts will appear in the exact same spot, right on top of each other, which never fails to catch me out (it is difficult to decipher how many prompts are hidden beneath each other) and can feel a little cheap and frustrating.

My major gripe is with the touch-screen prompts. They can be very bothersome, forcing you to move your hand from the face buttons at inopportune times to enable you to reach a scratch prompt. Often the Vita touch-screen, which is usually pretty responsive, infuriatingly won't register your finger. This is especially frustrating when you are on your way to a perfect and you miss a beat through no fault of your own. While this was also a noticeable problem in the first game it is much more prominent now due to a heavier reliance on touch-screen interaction. The double swipe that has been added will catch you out at first as you forget to swipe with both fingers but eventually you'll get the hang of it. The chained swipes, however, are terribly annoying. Often they commit the rhythm game sin of changing speed in song. They will approach the prompt location and then speed up or slow down without notice, catching you off guard and completely destroying the rhythm/beat you've been keeping throughout the rest of the tune. Additionally, sometimes when you think you've reached the end of a chain the prompt will shoot back on itself to the previous prompt and you'll miss it, which again feels quite cheap and will anger you at times. I can understand why they were added, to enable bigger and more varied high scores, but their varying speed can be frustrating and they take a lot of memorisation to master. You can switch over to the analogue sticks but I found this didn't really improve things as some of my flicks went unregistered too. Perhaps, just like the game, more practice with this control method will pay dividends.

Despite the aforementioned quibbles this remains an absolutely fantastic title. The Vita is becoming a hotbed for music/rhythm titles and this, coupled with the original Vita Hatsune Miku, DJMAX Technika Tune and digital download Cytus Lambda, should be enough to convince any rhythm game aficionado to take the plunge and get the handheld console. Project Diva F 2nd will keep you busy for weeks and is definitely worth a purchase.

Rating: 5/5

Theatrhythm is back with Curtain Call, a bigger and better version of its previous release in 2012. This time, instead of a measly 60+ songs and a handful of characters, we have a whopping 220+ songs and a plethora of your favourite Square Enix stars with future DLC promised if you are partial to paying for additional content.


The gameplay remains largely untouched from the previous version of the game with the player being required to tap, swipe or hold particular notes as they appear in time with music from the fabled Final Fantasy series.  Songs are again separated into Field, Battle and Emotional categories which, although remaining very similar to one another in gameplay mechanics, change the way the notes approach the player. In Battle (in my opinion the most difficult category) we have four lanes of notes that rush towards the target zones, in Field we have only one line of notes and the mode is more reliant on hold based moves, and in Emotional we have the target zone moving around the screen instead on being fixed to one location. Anyone who found the first edition of the game too easy will be pleased to know that Curtain Call is much more difficult than its predecessor ; some of the Ultimate songs (which in the last version I found myself confident of beating) offer a stern challenge indeed.


While gampelay remains largely untouched, the presentation of the game has improved tenfold over the previous iteration. Songs are more easily accessible from the get go, displayed in scrollable lists that can be favourited allowing the player to access their most beloved tunes at the press of a button.  Menu screens and graphics are more artistic than before and there are a  large number of additional enemies and noticeable faces to go up against in game that were missing from the initial version. Playable character designs are as cute and recognisable as ever, only this time round there are far more to choose from and discover. Things also zip along a lot faster now; the EXP screen is much more user friendly and levelling calculations happen in one go instead of tediously counting down over a number of seconds. The same can be said of the rhythmia screen which is much more efficient this time round.


Upon firing up the game you will find all but one option on the menu screen blanked out. To begin with you must create a team of characters from a limited list – if you would like to add an additional 10 choice options to the list, then download and install the demo from the eShop before starting up your cart. When you choose your characters you will then unlock the tracks that correspond to their relevant Final Fantasy title; for example, choosing Cloud will unlock all songs from FFVII and choosing Tidus will unlock all FFX content. The game then tasks the player with clearing songs in order to unlock all the additional content associated with the game. Impatient players need not worry, as you'll unlock all available options within the first fifteen to twenty successfully completed songs. The reasoning behind this is essentially a cleverly disguised tutorial mode to help familiarise the player to the game before they rush head first into online battles which, let me warn you, can be rather punishing (especially if you run into any Japanese players!).


As the player plays through songs they earn EXP for levelling up characters. Levelling up is important; as character stats increase, the player earn benefits such as higher HP allowing for more missed notes, higher strength for defeating more enemies in Battle mode, and higher stamina for covering more distance in Field battles. Abilities are also unlocked, which allow characters, among other things,  to hit additional damage in game or heal each other. Items can be equipped in a similar fashion, but once used they disappear from your inventory. Upon successful completion of a song, you also earn rhythmia, the total of which varies based upon the player completing a number of preset challenges during any song; for example, having an all male team, completing with all critical hits, playing on consecutive days, and so on. For every 250 rhythmia the player collects, a new unlock is achieved. These unlocks vary from hidden tracks to additional characters and new chime sound effects for your taps, swipes and holds.


One problem with the old version of the game was longevity. Unless the player purchased DLC content, the game quickly grew stale – you'd be required to grind the same songs over and over again in order to max out characters and, even if you are a huge fan of the Final Fantasy tracks available, things grew tiresome. The developers have addressed this situation by upping the song count by a staggering amount (all previous DLC from the old game is included and many of the bonus songs from the original now have three difficulties instead of just the one) and introducing a number of additional modes.


Quest Medley involves the players moving across a map and completing random tracks from the game. Upon completing all the songs successfully the player must face a boss battle. If the boss is beaten, then rewards can be earned including items for your inventory and crystal shards to unlock new characters. To make this mode even more difficult, all songs must be completed using only one health bar that doesn't regenerate between songs. If you are struggling, you will need to use your stocked items, but you are limited in how many of them you can use per medley. This adds some much needed challenge to the game and will help wring a good few extra few hours out of the game for the completionists among us. Completed maps can then be attached to your profile card and shared with other players you meet online (you can also earn theirs, too).


In addition to Quest Medleys, this time round we also get online battles. In this mode you can go online and face off against other players from around the world. I find this to be a fantastic addition, lengthening the time spent with the game a great deal. When playing other human players, you activate EX bursts for successfully hitting targets during songs. These bursts effect your opponent in a number of negative ways from spinning their arrowed swipe notes to speeding up targets to hiding them from view until the very last moment. One of the only negatives I can find in the game thus far is the discrepancies between burst effects. Some make hitting notes successfully almost impossible, while others (HP swap) can go barely noticed. Either way, playing online is easily the most challenging mode in the game and memorisation of songs is required in order to perform competently against real-life opponents. I class myself as a highly skilled rhythm player, yet I have come across opponents who have put me to shame. Even people put off by the tests awaiting them against almost savant-like human challengers are covered, however, by an AI versus mode in which you can take on the computer instead although the early difficulty levels are insultingly easy.


There is a multitude of content awaiting anyone who chooses to pick up the game. In the museum section you can check how many in game trophy conditions you have bested (the requirements of which vary from easy-as-pie to mind-bendingly difficult), see how many of the collector cards you have found thus far, listen to a number of the games songs in a jukebox section, and watch a number of movies related to each FF title. Unlocking all of these goodies will take you an absolute age; you can be sure your initial outlay will not be wasted. I have seen some online players who have racked up over 400 hours of game time already!


I rate this game highly indeed. Any fan of rhythm games or the music of Final Fantasy will not be disappointed with this purchase. A great number of improvements have been implemented from the last version of the game making the title much more enjoyable and far better value for money. Anyone who found the last version too easy will find a far greater challenge here and will have to dedicate a large amount of time to besting the game in Ultimate mode. Newcomers, however, are also catered for by the Basic and Expert score settings, which can ease a player into the game with far less stress and frustration. Indies 0 have done a fine job of ensuring all levels of skill are catered for here and have lovingly created a game that is better in almost every way from its predecessor.


Overall, if you are undecided, I would say give Curtain Call a go. You're getting so much content, challenge, and game time for your not considerable outlay of money here that I doubt you'll regret it.


Rating: 5/5

In recent times we've seen a marked rise in the remaking and rebooting of some fondly remembered classics. Mega Drive title Castle of Illusion found itself on the end of a 21st century makeover as did NES/Game Boy game Duck Tales. Most recently we have seen a remastering of the highly thought of and oft ignored Strider series. Whilst the remakes met with varying degrees of success, I got a sense of satisfaction from revisiting my childhood favourites under a shiny new HD veneer.

We all have our favourite games of yore. So, if you could choose any title from the past to be remade or rebooted, what would it be? 

For me it would have to be ESWAT. Originally released in 1990 on the Mega Drive (or Genesis if you're from across the pond) it allowed you to take control of rookie cop Duke Oda as he worked his way through the Cyber Police ranks. Once you earn his spurs he is rewarded with a kick-ass Ice Combat Suit complete with an arsenal of varied and deadly weapons. The premise of the original game would lend itself perfectly, in my opinion, to a Metroidvania style offering where Oda would navigate his way around the Liberty City map upgrading his suit ready to face a final showdown with the mysterious E.Y.E.. And, let's face it, who wouldn't love to relive that unforgettable moment when Oda takes down a fully-armoured helicopter with a handgun in glorious high definition?

List your suggestions below. I'm intrigued to see what you think!
Photo Photo Photo

I've been keeping my eye on the price of the Nintendo 2DS over recent months as I have been craving the opportunity to play Final Fantasy Theathrythm on something other than iOS. Yesterday I managed to pick up a brand new one for £69 which I thought to be a bit of a bargain.

As I've only really had my eye on the single game up until now I was a bit lost as to what other titles I should look at getting, what with the 3DS/DS catalogue being so exhaustive. I would like to check out Bravely Default as I do like a traditional RPG and, of course, I will be looking to pick up the new Zelda game as soon as possible. I'm a massive fan of rhythm games so any suggestions in that field would be greatly welcomed. I also like old-school platformers, shmups and puzzlers (I am ashamed to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed the Bejewled title on the DS... make of that what you will!). I'm also open to suggestions of regular DS titles, too. I am not at all interested in Pokemon, so despite it being a huge title on the DS platform, I would request you refrain from suggesting any titles from that IP.

So, kindly and helpful souls of the Destructoid blogging scene, what are the must-have games I should be looking to pick up for my nifty new handheld? Your help is much appreciated.

Well, it was with a sigh of relief that I finally managed to make it to the end of Outlast on the PS4. Was it a sigh of relief after an intense and frightening experience? No, it was, unfortunately, one of relief at having finally completed a gaming experience that I thought was disappointingly weak and grossly lacking in every respect.

When it was announced that Outlast was coming to PS+ as part of the IGC I was, like I'm sure many were, very excited at the prospect. A quick check of the reviews of the PC release hinted at a terrifying, sanity-shredding game that would have you sweating with anxiety and worry. I downloaded with baited breath and a change of underwear at the ready.

I booted the game up and found myself quickly disappointed. I became aware within the first hour of gameplay that the game was lacking on any number of levels. The character models were totally uninspiring, all of the asylum patients are presented as asexual (bar a noticeable pair...) beings with eyes stitched shut and threads running all over their body. The limitations of the Unreal engine quickly became apparent with graphical glitches galore including ghostly blocks that appear as you turn and look suspiciously like collectable items before vanishing as if they were never there and enemies hovering about a foot off the ground as you hide from them under beds. The game is insultingly linear, with locked doors barring progression left right and centre and the dreaded waist high stacks of beds and filing cabinets that demand 'You shall not pass!'. 

I forced myself onwards though my mounting disappointment and grew only further disillusioned with the experience. I found myself screaming, yes. But not through fear. Mostly through frustration. The game is littered with cheap clichéd scares that we've seen a million times before and implemented far more effectively. You'll have things drop from air vents just like we saw numerous times in Dead Space, you'll have windows shatter a.l.a. Resident Evil, you'll have scares pop out of the dark that can only be seen through your camera just like happened in Fatal Frame. You'll be wheeled through the asylum hospital by a madman (Jacob's Ladder) and have sections of your body forcefully removed (Saw). None of the scares in Outlast are original. None of the scares are particularly scary. I can count on one hand the number of times I jumped with fright.

My frustration came mostly from the game's terrible controls, repetitive nature and archaic mechanics. You'll continually be given rudimentary and tiresome tasks throughout the game. Flip two switches to activate the sprinklers. Pull two levers to activate the lifts. Along the way you'll be chased down dark corridors by the same enemies over and over. Excitingly you can sometimes avoid them by climbing into air vents and using them as a means of escape or by hiding in lockers. I love nothing more than crawling through air vents in a game. We've never seen that before, have we? And hiding in lockers? It was my favourite part of Deadly Premonition. I eagerly anticipated those sections... 

Sometimes the enemies will be armed, other times not. If you're playing on higher difficulties the chances of a one hit death are high. One of my biggest gripes with the title was the fact that, no matter how stealthily you evade your pursuers, whenever you flick a switch or pull a lever, the game would drop the enemies directly behind you. The sense of reward for having tiptoed expertly to your task is instantly ripped away from you, forcing you to hide until they wander away. Often, however, they'll wander to the end of the corridor and then head back. You'll be forced to wait (which grows boring very quickly) or dash past them (which destroys the game's tension). I quickly found myself utilising the latter technique just to avoid the tedium of waiting for the randomly wandering enemies to give me some space. Running, however, poses its own problems. The controls of the game are severely lacking. I found myself unintentionally dashing past the same door three, four times in succession as I attempted my escape from our sexless baddies. You'll often find yourself trapped in corners by enemies owing to the game's abysmal collision detection (it's as if every enemy is walking in an invisible rectangle) then be forcefully eviscerated as a reward. Sometimes the passageways are blocked by upturned beds or obstacles which can be vaulted. Vaulting is often a chore in itself. I found that, unless you are running at them in a perfectly straight line, you will often begin doing an Irish Jig in front of the obstacle instead of leaping over it. Then you'd be murdered.

The story is desultory. You are a journalist on a mission to uncover the strange goings on at Mount Massive asylum in Colorado. You don't get much back story but as your progress through the game you'll collect notes and observe scenes that fill in more of the story for you. Our protagonist, despite being shit-scared and whimpering like a scalded child at all times, also takes plenty of opportunities to write sarcasm-drenched notes like a wise-cracking internet troll. It's nothing we haven't seen before and when the big reveal appears (***SPOILERS*** It's evil Nazis! ***SPOILERS) you'll shake your head in disbelief as this particular story element has been done to death and often many times better. All the while you'll find yourself wondering how the only person alerted to the strange goings on at Mount Massive is a hapless journalist. When you discover the madness and danger inside the asylum you'll ask yourself why the military aren't swarming all over it or why it simply hasn't been nuked off the face of the earth. The ending scenes only serve to sully an already dreadful and unoriginal story even further. 

A few other annoyances I encountered were the appearance of intrusive loading screens between sections of the game - a green image with a spinning load symbol. Even Resident Evil, back in 1996, offered us an animation of a door to make the transition less obvious and more bearable. The load times themselves are lengthy. On a number of occasions these load screens hung and I was required to restart the game in order to continue. In one section I got a load screen in the gardens near the end of the game which hung. I replayed the section and didn't even encounter a load screen on the second attempt which I found strange.

To summarise, I was astounded by how bad I found Outlast and find myself baffled by its many positive reviews. Any self-respecting fan of the horror genre will find themselves laughing at the pitiful scares and derogatory storyline. And experienced gamers will find themselves appalled by the poor controls and shamefully implemented and dated game mechanics. Usually I find myself going back through a game to tidy up a few additional trophies but I can't face going through Outlast a second time, so I think I'll leave my percentage at 40. The game might fill in a few hours as we await new releases for our next-gen console but I would find it very difficult to recommend Outlast even though it is currently available for free.

An absolute shambles that I was relieved to finish. The anticipation I felt prior to the game's release quickly dissipated and I am glad as can be that I'm finally done with the game. One to avoid, in my opinion, unless you're absolutely desperate to play something, anything at all. 

Rating: 1/5