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LeSamourai's blog

2:59 PM on 06.22.2013

Nintendo Lost E3. SeymourDuncan117 won E3.

E3 is far enough behind us now and I think its time somebody lays down the truth. The fact is, Nintendo lost E3 and SeymourDuncan117 won it and here is why.

1. SeymourDuncan has way more polygons than any of the games Nintendo showed

2. Seymour is a grown ass man while Nintendo continue to make baby games.

3. Reggie

4. Fils-Aime

5. SeymourDuncan doesn't try to appeal to casuals.

6. SeymourDuncan is F2P if you know what I mean.

Will update this into an actual blog on what I think is going on in Nintendo's head. Have some positive things and negative things to say aout Nintendo but after this E3 it is more clear than ever we need them to balance all the nonsense.
 I just wrote this so I would be held accountable to update into actual blog since I haven't written one since my last tour de force about how bootyful Nabu is. Also, what is up with these terrible blogs lately. 1Up's community was overrated I guess (lel come at me you gaiz).   read

2:47 AM on 03.23.2013

N anbuuu: an ode to nanbou

Nanbu YOU ARE JUST SO BEATIFUO. fukk da hayters! they don't even know what real beauty is. You are agoddess. they cant appreciate your fuckin beauty cuz it blinds them. wen I think of you I think of Athena or that one gurl named jane. I want to tak you to prom. wid your hair all nice and pretty and a lil bit of gliter aeverywher. people cnt even begin to apreciqate you.
yeah that is why they write songs abou you instead. here is one I write for you.

that is how beautiful you are. I wan to be a poet just to hav the privelige to categorize and attempt to encapsulate your gawgesness. I want to put rogaine on my cchaest to impress u. when im feel your skin it feel like when hippies touch recycled organic garbage. that's how it maeks me feel gurl whn I see you its like watching babe in the city for thre first fuckin time!!!!Q!!11111 you re more preciuost hanthat gurl named precious. im not even lyin. I would trade mai left toe for a dinner at applbees witchu. here is another song iwrote for you.

dqyum gurl you just cant be contI ED. WEN I THINK OF YOU MY HEART HURTS and my soul aches and my soles ach cuz I run afert you. you just gawges!! I lov you don't let anybody pretend you aint beautiful. id go down on you even if itwernt yo burfday!!! das how much I care.


1:22 AM on 02.07.2013

The Return of The King... Of Gaming Podcasts


About 4 years ago one of the greatest, no The Greatest vidja gaemz podcast ever made started. And it was known as Talkradar

Seriously it was so lovely. As time went on the podcast only got better. The hosts would usually devolve into drunken fools and make horribly inappropriate jokes but at the same time they didn't hide behind offensive gags and had deep and earnest discussions. They woukld open up and tell embarassing stories or even sad ones. Like that time where chris was receiving a BJ and the girl vomited on him. Or when Elston was working at Toys R' Us (did you know brett worked at Toys R' Us) and would have to listen to horrible music all day and then when his shift ends he would pick up the pokemon soundtrack and be forever shamed by the chick at the counter looking at him in disgust. This is one of those rare podcasts where you can just listen to an episode and it will still hold up. Anyeways back to the goods. As time went on management on the corporate level changed. The podcast while still flying high began to have a sense of death loom over it. Eventually booze was banned from the podcast and for unrelated reasons the employees of GR were dropping out. It was so sad. Finally it got to a point where the podcast went on hiatus. Or at least that is what we were told. Fridays began to be a little more morose, a lil more melancholy. But then out of the blue A site called Laser time popped up. And it was the whole gang back together!

But it wasn't the same. Just like that terrible cosplay up there. Now dont get me wrong. It was still top tier stuff. But a lot of peeps were saying it was just as good as Talk radar and I disagreed. It is hard to explain why but if I could make the analogy it would be like the Ren and Stimpy show. The Ren and Stimpy show was a weird experimental cartoon in the 90's rthat got away with a lot of sexual double entendres and whatnot. I didnt care for the show but I recognized its cleverness to get away with the material it did. Well of course it was cancelled but then revived on a channell that would let it go all out. Great Right? No. It no longer had to be clever and was just really filthy because no one was watching it. Now Laser time the spiritual successor is not bad like I said it is entertaining but it lost a lt of its edge because of the circumstances and mostly because they werent confined to vidjagaemz even though part of the fun of talkradar was the tangents. Ive thoroughly enjoyed Laser time but I found myself not worried about missing episodes here and there, going long stretches of not listening. I started listening to Cape Crisis their comic book discussion even though I did not even read any comics. VGMpire is another podcast that I frequent much more than LT. But now things are changing. No LT isnt going away but they have created an honest-to-god vidjagaemz podcast.
And dear god am I horny for this junk. It started and ended pitch perfect.This blog can really be summarized by me saying to you that you need to go to and listen to this junk. It just started and I am so happy to be a part of its beginning.
Sorry if the blog wasn't interesting but I will have one real soon that critiques davuiid cage and his comments about the industry needing to grow up and my first true installment in the Captain Crunch's Hidden Booty game spotlight in which I talk about obscure but quality games. Ill be starting it off right with a schmup that doesnt get much attention despite being top quality. Anyways bye.


6:48 PM on 12.31.2012

A Final Introduction to me by way of Favorite Games of All Time List.

I feel like a cheater right now because this is by no means my first blog. Technically I have written two, one being a totally silly one and the other being a first entry in what I hope to be many highlighting overlooked games. The reason I am writing this one and calling it an introduction blog is because the two preceeding blogs do not really tell my fellow dtoiders anything about myself. I thought I would take this oppurtunity to truly introduce myself by listing off my top 11 favorite games. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me for technically being a cheater like when mexican restuarants keep their GRAND OPENING!! sign up for two years and just allow this to slide I will be deeply humbled. So lets start the adventure off!!!!

Note: These are in no particular order and I also tried to pick more offbeat choices rather than just picking something like SotC since they will be on everyones list and do not say anything about the person

Super Mario Sunshine

Yes that is right. The Mario Game I picked was neither Galaxy or 64. I feel that a running theme in this list will be games that create a vast sense of world. This is why Sunshine beat out Galaxy and 64. What were a lot of peoples negatives were pluses for me. I loved the idea of mario on this one singular island. There was a cohesiveness to the game that 64 didn't yet strike on and the galaxy games threw out in terms of abstract design. I love Galaxy 1 and 2 but ultimately Sunshine is a world I find myself returning to because it literally feels like I am a part of Marios' vacation. The music is fantastic as evidenced by the delfino plaza music and the variety of places youll see is impressive, despite being on one island the amount of challenges mario will tackle is vast. A lot of people will swear by the castle in 64 but going back as much as I love the game and all of its wonder it feels so bland compared to Sunshine. Sunshine was one of the first games that had a real sense of this is a place and people live here. A great example of this would be the hotel level. That part is unique to pretty much both 2D and 3D platformers in that youre exploring a place that people live and it is less about challenging platform and more about, well, exploration. I could go on and I barely touched on some of my favorite stages such as the casino type area or Noki Bay with the towering seashell structures, oh and the fludd! i would be remiss though if I didn't mention the staes where you didn't have the Fludd. All I will say is that was some hardcore platforming and obviously a precursor to Galaxy and its abstract "it is all about fun and defying logic" style of platforming. This is the game that finally made me buy a gamecube and pay attention to it more than my trusty PS2. Alright now for my next game!

Brave Fencer Musashi

I am kinda shooting myself in the foot as I planned to cover this game in my underappreciated games blog series but oh well I just absolutely love this game! This game was uncharted and final fantasy all rolled into one. It had a heartwarming story and great characters. It very much reminds me of Ni No Kuni. In the game you play as a pint-sized samurai named Musashi.You have to travel the kingdom of Allukaneet(loljapan) collecting gems to take down a great evil. Even though the story is generic the characters and gameplay is what does it for me. The characters are soo.... loveable. They really manage to cram a lot of humour and drama into the dialogue and setpieces whether you are talking to a overzealous fairy thing or running DOWN THE SIDE OF A GIGANTIC TOWER WHILE A BOULDETR IS ROLLING DOWN AFTER YOU. Seriously this game is awesome and manages to hold up so well despite being on the PS1 a laughably weak system. I think this is a testament to the game design. It is an action rpg by Square so you know it has great music and mechanics. This might not be my favorite game but it is so totally worth playing and im glad I am a part of that group of people who can say they have. I cant stress enough how awesome this game is.I will leave you guys and gals with another song. Now Go Play It!

MGS2: Sons of Liberty

This. This Game. It is good. Really Good. You should play it. To me Metal Gear Solid 2 represents what gaming is supposed to be. I know that is a very lofty statement but let me quantify it. When I was 6 years old and playing OoT i remember being floored when I realized that not only could you use the Iron Boots to explore Lake Hylia and its depths but there was an aquatic temple for me to explore. There many games that I played that came afterOoT and they tried to create that magic. MGS2was that game for me. I was floored by the opening "level." Everyone talks about the Ice cubes but for me I had that OoT moment and let me detail it for you. I was sitting in a box. But it wasn't just any box. It was a wet box. Ok im being stupid but my point is that in MGS@ when I used a wet box and developed a cough and then used cigs to heal myself I had that same jaw dropping sense of amazement that I did playing OoT. It was that moment when you say "Wow, they actually thought of this." And that my friends is what I mean when I say that MGS2 represents the ideals of gaming. It is truly special and I know for a fact that the Tanker level with sanke has more depth and breadth of ideas presented to the player than most games do by the time you arrive at the final boss.There has been a lot written about MGS2 over the years (including this line) but really you don't need to examine all that meta crap sorrounding the game to enjoy it. It is a powerful force of entertainment and I recommend picking up the HD collection and see for yourself. Good job koima, Good job.

Halo 3

Whuuuut? Yeah so I picked this because I noticed that my first 3 games were all japanese and I wanted to show that I do play other games including western games. Im not going to talk about it much since most people know how they feel about the game. When this game launched it was an event. There has not been a launch quite like Halo 3 since. I played hundreds of hours in multiplayer and forge mode (anybody play Stargate?)None of the future Halo games have lived up to this game in my mind. The map design was perfectly simple yet endlessly deep. Seriously I studied all these crazy tactics for this game like throwing a grenade at a corner to blast myself up into an enemies base where they didn't expect me. There were so much nuance to the game that I feel has been thrown away in favor of perks and silly little mechanics that are jjst ripping of Cod. Such a shame. I have so many memories and I might out of all the games I have ever payed sunk the most time into this game. Bungie you are amazingly talented. Thanks for the memories. Onto the Next one!

So what is this, Where is the game? Well this is the end of Part 1. Im not trying to be cheap I just do not have time to finish as I am rushing out to a new years party. I will finish the list and in all I will have 11 games by the end. To be clear these are not LeSamourais' top games of all time. Granted some of these would be on my list but this is my way of showing of different facets of myself and so Im not picking my all time definitive list as I feel the need to branch out to other genres to show my versatility. I do plan on doing that type of list though but I want to put serious thought into it and I want it to be definitive. As a treat(lol im a narcissist) I will end the blog talking about things I like outside of videogames

Music: I listen to a lot of different genres. Growing up I mostly listened to classic rock such as Hendrix and Floyd. But by the time I got to middle school I was listening to more Grunge or alternative. (I was born in 93') I listen to a late of electronic music and jazz as of late and listen to less and less rock. Still love rock but I am just never in the mood for it. Her is a very very small list of acts I like.

Beach Boys

Led Zeppelin

The Smiths

Wu Tang clan

My Bloody Valentine


Daft Punk


Chet Baker

Bill Evans

TV: To be honest I dont watch much tv. I watch anime sometimes but Im not crazy about it.Some anime I like would be Bebop and Champloo, Berserk, Lupin the 3rd, Kids on the slope, FMA, Darker than Black, Hajime No Ippo and a lot more.

Movies: Im not a huge movie buff and it is definitely not my favorite medium but there some movies I of course love. I am particularly fond of Noir or certain westerns but I have to take them in small doses. Im a huge fan of animation though so I watch a lot of movies if they are well you know animated. The last movie I saw that I really liked was Inception or p[erhaps the Avengers but it will sonn be the Hobbit. Here is a little list of movies I like : Le Samourai, LotR, Westerns, Noir films, Inception, Spirited Away, Millenium Actress, Interstella 5555, Summer Wars, Older Disney.

This now concludes Part 1 of my intro to Dtoid community. I have been reading the site for about a year but I have only just now joined the fray. I hope to improve my blogging skills and I look forward to the day when I have more time on my hands so I can write a really nice blog. I am an overworked college student so my blogs have been a bit weak. Oh fuck I just realized I have Indigo as my text color. Well I think I will leave now. Feedback is very welcome. Thanks bye.   read

3:27 PM on 12.18.2012

A Game You Have Never Heard Of That You Need To Play

This is a milti-blog, multi-game series. Each blog will cover a relatively unknown game or just one youve only heard of in passing that deserves your attention, Some will be good and some will be bad but hopefully all will be interesting.

Ah yes the 90's. The age of Swat Kats and Biker Mice on Mars (Also, anyone remember the mighty ducks cartoon? Yeah, I do.). While most executives in the entertainment industry were snorting all the crack/cocaine in the world, there were only a few shows that have stood the time (Hint: Its not a smurfs reboot). No, I'm talking about Phantom 2040

SO 90's!!!!!

See, for whatever reason We 90's kids saw a huge influx of cartoons with environmental messages or just very "adult" themes in general. These cartoons were just more experimental as a whole. I suppose it started with Captain Planet and soon spread to other cartoons, not that Captain Planet had any depth though. Phantom 2040 on the other hand was a full of themes that was more on the adult side. It debuted in 94', a mere two years after Batman: TAS. It received great reviews upon arrival but little fanfare, perhaps as it tackled issues of environmentalism, individuality, and man's never ending battle of class warfare. This is a rare breed of cartoons, well at least for America. Although, if you knew who worked on it it would make sense. A few years before MTV had started something called LiquidTV. It was a really cool, ultra-experimental animation-bloc showcasing some really original IPs. A good comparison would be say Vertigo, the comic imprint. LiquidTV, was home to shows such as Dog-Boy, The Specialists, and perhaps most notable Aeon Flux. It was an unfortunately short lived endeavour by MTV and ended soon after (I think Sega was hogging all the coke.) One of the creative minds behind the show went on to the just as short lived Phantom 2040. Despite only going for thirty-five episode before being relegated to 6:00 a.m. reruns on saturday morning. Even though the critics loved the darker dystopian world the audience it was intended for, kids, just said "character development, what's that?". The thing was that even though it was pitched to the coked-up execs as a show about a futuristic superhero it really wasn't about that. It feature the titular character out of costume just as much perhaps even more out of costume. He wasn't fighting villians threatening to plant a bomb in the water filtering plant but instead corporations that featured non-caricatured execs that were morally ambiguous. A lot of the storylines just did not follow standard procedure and thus it was cancelled. But there was hope...........

The ending theme to the show, *sniff *sniff Bono sounds so sad.

Yes Indeed there was hope for the people who wanted to dive back into the world of Metropia, the fictional city in which the Phantom preys on those who would do harm. A game was slated for release and even better it was developed by Sunsoft. The very devs who took on the property that was perhaps the biggest rival to the show, Batman. There were two versions a SNES and Genesis but I'm only covering SNES for various reasons. One is that it's slightly difficult to find in-depth info on the game and two the games awesome music is undoubtedly butchered by the metallic fap sounds emitted by the Genesis and its cheap sound card. But the Snes music rivals that of F-Zero, no I'm dead serious, watch the intro and just listen to that shizzz.

Dat Slap Bass

The music is great but this isn't just a good sound game, its an awesomely fun game too. Let me sell you on it real quick if I may. Metroidvania. I'm sure you're paying attention now. Super Metroid released March of 94' while Phantom 2040 launched on the SNES just a little more than a year later. That is impressive considering the sprite work is great and it even advances non-linearity past even Metroid with its unique alternate plot decisions you the player can make. The game is divided into seven chapters so although you might not have the ubiquity of planet zebes or whatever the fuck it's called it is going for something different. While Super Metroid was a master-class in the art of minimalism in story and presenation, Phantom 2040 is chock full of twisting turning plot points and hazardous adventures across the globe. You the player must don the mask of the Phantom as you stop a sinister plot of the main foil, Rebecca Madison, Head of Maximum corp. The plot is actually really good in a gamey sort of way and manages to preserve a lot of intense ideas setup in the show. Both the game and show have the same backstory though the game definitely takes some detours. The setup of the show is as follows: The show follows Kit Walker, a college student who discovers some things he shouldn't have. It is the year 2040, New York City and nearby meteopli have all coalesced into one giant city-state. The city is run technically by a government but really its the corporations running the show with an iron grip on the natural resources.. Resources are scarce and because of this the poor have been shunned to the side living in slums down below with no relief in sight. This is compounded by the creation of BIOTs which are basically androids. Since android technology was something created by corporations and is undoubtedly expensive. its asking price only benefits the wealthy; who live in the top of these mega skyscrapeers protected from the filth and squalor down below by security bots, while being wined and dined by service bots. Interestingly The Phantom is not just some white knight protecting the poor and opressed. He has his own demons. Kit Walker , the teen who dons the mask isn't the first Phantom. He's the 24th. The show plays with this fact greatly. There are many people who aren't just villains per se but oppose the Phantom because of past transgressions. For example, one of the antagonists is insane because he thinks his father was killed by the 23rd Phantom. He hunts after Kit trying to kill him. The main villian is Rebecca Madison, CEO of Maximum Inc. She is not the scourge of the earth who makes dramatic monologues like Dr. Claw. No, she is actually a fleshed out character with emotion, thoughts and has had some terrible things happen to her, such as beng widowed by who she thinks was the Phantom. Rebeccas isn't trying to rule the world she is just a misguided woman with a lot of power that she doesn't want to relinquish. Kits' mentor in the show is a depressed, self-hating introvert who doesn't want to live anymore. These are but a few examples as the show is just full of really interesting characters who have some very tangled relationships with each other. This is some really heady stuff that you just don't see in kids' shows these days and it feels good to say that the game also taps into this richness albeit somewhat stunted. So lets talk about the game.

In the game you are not just thrust into the world and just start wrecking shit up like say Contra. You actually have a goal in mind that makes sense in the context of the world. Maximum Inc. is looking for the last Black Panther on earth but the Phantom is not just going to let them take it. The player must traverse multiple locales hunting for it. This setup leads to some interesting ideas. For one the panther isn't being used for some ultra nefarious plot, he is wanted by Rebecca to revive her dead husband (Yeah don't ask me). The game then proceeds to present the character with some slightly morally ambiguous choices. You the player can leave the panther in the jungle and hope it isn't found or you can hand it over to a shady man by the name of Mr. Cairo in exchanfe for the whereabouts of you're kidnapped friend. Oh and let me tell you how refreshing it is to not see a little bar pop up when you make said choices. No the game is content in acknowledging you as something with a brain and the game takes you on your nexrt destination depending on the choice.

So where does the metroid play come in? Well for one just study the gameplay for a few seconds.

The Grappling Hook Is Awesome

The Phantom sprite looks reminiscent of the life-like rendering of Samus. It doesn't have that chibi style of body proportions that dominated a lot of sprite games and that definitely looks like the spin jump that Samus does. The game features many hidden unlockables and powerups, unlike Super Metroid though these are optional though they are not after thoughts. The game features many sub plots the player can address such as stopping a missile aimed at a suburban community or the deranged psychopath who has a vendetta against you. People might lament the fact that it is not just one giant world where you are left alone and that is understandable, The game is going for something different. Many games have featured choice before this but it is a feeling of immense satisfaction seeing the multiple locales you visit because of the choices you make. You might have noticed that nowadays linearity is a no-no and devs try to make up words to convince gamers that their game isn't linear by using dubious phrases such as wide-linearity. I'm not badmouthing this approach to game design it is just interesting that a game no one cared about based on a license no one cared about did this multiple paths idea in 94'. You might have noticed also that you can return to areas to access places you couldn't before, a staple of the genre. Combat is done through various means such as shooting, melee or the variety of unique weapons you acquire. The bosses are decent. One of them resembles a french guy who floats around the stage as you grapple above a bottomless pit firing rounds at his silly goattee. Overall this game is just so fun to fool around in. The core gameplay is really well done and all the meta on top of that such as music, plot, setting and exploration put this game above the many titles for the SNES. So this is my first blog post and I want to tell you that I appreciate you reading it. Feedback is of course welcome. I know in this day and age where people non-ironically catalog He-Man plot points it is hard to find something truly unknown and so I'm sure some readers already know of this game. But, I hope I have shown of something to someone out there. I wrote this blog in i'd say about 45 minutes so It is a bit disorganized and rambly or something so if you would like to provide feed back then that is great. I hope to establish a formula as this will be a multi-part series. I hope I improve next week ad am able to find an overlooked game in my collection. Again, thanks for reading, take us out Cobra Commander.

1:55 PM on 12.15.2012

50 cent blood on the sand : the citizen kane of gaming

Do I really need to explain myself with this one.
Come on Smithsonian Get with it.


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