So hello people. Doing good? So am I. Did you know I was late for an exam this morning? Terrifying stuff. Almost failed a class! Gee willikers mister, it sure nearly blew my gasket.
Blap blap mo'fuckas! How y'all been. I strode in tore up that weak-ass exam shit...in the butt. Why? Cuz it was a good day, didn't even have to use mah AK.
You guys remember Xander Markham right? Used to be here like me then went off to Flixist? He and I are going to take the Iron Throne so all of you other loser houses might as well just put down your arms and, I dunno, do what those that don't win the game of thrones do.
So my friends and I got together recently to watch the 2000 version of Godzilla.
It was so much shittier than I remembered. I mean, how do you screw it up? Wait, actually I can tell you.
There were these jokes where characters would say things and one of the other, more sarcastic, characters would give a witty retort. Only the retorts weren't funny and there was like a good 20 second break after each of them so you just know that whoever wrote the script was sitting in their chair, wrote that shitty joke and just chuckled smuggly to themselves thinking they were the most clever person on the face of this stupid Earth (Happy Earth Day).
One was especially confusing as Matthew Broderick's character said one of those stupid cheesy replies and the soldier next to him just stood there looking at him confused. You know he heard Broderick's stupid line because we all heard it but naturally you would also expect the soldier to say something because he had the look that he wanted to. Didn't happen. Just a weird awkward soldier staring at Broderick...or maybe the soldier was instead looking at the empty, vacuous space of stupid that Matthew Broderick's reply created.
And another thing. Jean Reno's character was so stereotypically French it didn't even seem real. Like the same smug writer was writing a stereotype of a French character played by Jean Reno of all people and was like "They don't like our coffee, eat nothing but cheese and croissants right? Yeah that's totally right, man I'm amazing."
No one man should have all that power
Oh man look at the time. Sorry I took that much space ranting about Godzilla. I hear the reboot hired like a Japanese, indie, cult director who specializes in those old monster movies. I look forward to it definitely.
Until next time, smell y'all lates mah boats 'n hoes.
Look at how angry that guy is. Like just look how angry he is.
Let it sink in.
Hey people~ How have you been? I've been good y'know.
It's really great having cable again. I've lived without it for so long but now I'm coming to remember the fun with regularly scheduled programming. Netflix has further lowered my tolerance for commercials, but following my favorite shows on a weekly basis is as fun as I remembered it.
On that note, how great is Archer, Adventure Time, Happy Endings, and Archer? A show so great I said it twice.
Regardless of whether or not their last few albums did indeed sound like two computers engaging in love making, Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke's side project Atoms for Peace released a kickass new album. you should listen to it.
So over the weekend I accidentally a text adventure and I'm not entirely sure what to do. Here it is.
Hey everybody been well? That's good/sad to hear :)/:(.
Well the community is doing fun things again so I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring and reveal to you 10 of my many secrets.
1.) I'm a trained figure skater
This one is my go to secret for conversations and the like but it's still not something I go announcing to everyone I meet. As a kid my mom gave the option of taking speed skating like all the cool Korean kids or take figure skating. I chose speed skating. Sadly it was full so she put me in figure skating instead. I can't do the things I used to but I'm pretty sure I can spin on ice if needed...Maybe.
2.) I can't drive
Never bothered to learn because in high school I was like "Everybody is learning how to drive so I'm going to be an individual and not learn that!" But yeah I can't be a productive member in a carpool so there's that. I should really be thinking about a license though seeing as I'm living on my own now.
3.) I can't swim in the ocean.
I was on the swim and water polo team in high school so it's safe to say I'm comfortable around water and staying afloat for long periods of time. Still, I get about waist deep in the ocean, begin the process of swimming and just end up floundering a bit before I get washed up on shore by the waves like the pathetic seal that I am. Once that seaweed touches my ankles I just lose my abilities for competent water survival. My swimming Kryptonite if you will.
4.) I'm probably scared of strawberries.
They freak me out. I don't like eating them or smelling them but for some reason I also don't like being in the same room as them. Weird.
5.) I never leave voice mails.
It's a weird ass system and I will not be apart of it. These days cell phones tell you that you missed a call so hopefully you have enough courtesy to call back. Sadly it's also because of this rule that I ended up paying 100 dollars for a cancellation fee at the doctors because I demanded a person hear my request for a cancellation. Not worth a hundred dollars but still. I don't leave voice mails...Ever.
6.) I occasionally have a cigarette
Because that's what badass people do. Not a habit, not even an addiction really. Still I will play smoking buddy for some people and maybe one at a party where I'll be deathly scared of everyone. Incidentally I seem to be able to quit fairly easily. Can go months without one and not face any major consequence or erratic behavior until I decide it's boring again.
7.) I never finished Firefly
I liked what I saw but it wasn't enough to keep me invested so I just never finished it.
8.) I rocked a fohawk in high school.
Because I was an ass.
9.) I can't spell.
If it weren't for spell check I would be seriously screwed. Spelling and I have never gotten along and I always either add or forget a crucial letter. Example? I misspelled "crucial" from the previous sentence.
10.) Sometimes I make friends with people then never want to be with them again.
That's my own personal demon and what I consider one of the worst aspects about myself. I'm a pretty friendly guy and easily approachable but once the other person begins being friendly I become really scared of them and immediately try to distance myself again and they're left confused. I've been working on it the past few years and the internet has really helped in fixing that problem. Still have feelings of dropping everything and running away but I'm improving.
So yeah...10 things about me. Nothing really big or revolutionary but there you have it Dtoid community. I guess I'm willing to share this because I do really love you guys even if I'm not here as often.
What has been happening since...the last...time...I....saw...you...guys?
When was that by the way? December...Right last December...Wait...DECEMBER?!?!?
Shit that was three months ago.
Still I just finished my final essay about surrealism and thought I could remind myself that I once used to exist here.
Yeah it was weird because the C-Blog Interviews returned just as there was this renewed focus on the C-Blogs so that must be this supposed divine hand of revolution. I mean Handy, Kraid, Beyamor all those guys returning at this time just as Mr. Dixon has been put in charge of the C-Blogs? That can't be a coincidence.
Viva la Revolution
I like how one blog became the catalyst for everybody in the community to finally vent their grievances. I was busy studying the French Revolution the past year so I enjoyed that quite a bit. Though I'm a bit disappointed that we didn't go through anything like The Terror. I mean I for one think that Occams would make an amazing Robespierre. Just imagine all the paranoia and guillotines...Beautiful.
Also, why have we not beheaded Marie Antoinette yet? People, you guys are going about a revolution the wrong way! Peaceful petitions? The Government making concessions? Where's the aristocratic ignorance? The Military occupation? GUYS! WHERE ARE THE GUILLOTINES!!!!
...Ahem..Sorry I ran off on a tangent there.
Best. Assignment. Ever.
It was like writing about video games but...not.
Pretty much a paper where I go "And this guy was a pervert, and that guy was a pervert!"
So yeah...Art History...Great stuff.
Over the past two weeks I became the sovereign ruler of Denmark.
Under my leadership I defeated the upstart neighbor city-state of Saigon. It was a long campaign but after many months of burning their crops and stealing their food, the capital city fell and I annexed its people because I am a merciful leader.
So yeah Civilization V is an amazing game.
I also bought the new Silent Hill game because fuck reviews.
I'm pretty impressed actually. Without going into too much detail, the new game is pushing all the right buttons for me.
It's been...tough. I'm not going to lie. There was a nervous breakdown a while back and it required the attention of professional help.
I'm mostly better now but things haven't quite been the same since.
I think people who follow me on Twitter know what I'm talking about.
Still, I'm doing much better and I'm regaining control on my life so good things.
In other news you guys can blame me for Stevil because I'm the one that asked him to work for us. He told me about how he kept getting the shaft and I really hated to see someone like him not get the exposure he deserved.
It was fun, sort of like diplomacy or something. I want to play more Civ V.
As for everything else?
Well I can say that I missed you guys. That I think about you guys every day and sometimes consider leaving a message only to be embarrassed and hang up the phone.
I can't promise anything but the main thing keeping me away from the C-Blogs was that I didn't recognize it anymore. It wasn't the same C-Blog I first fell in love with and it wasn't the one I grew with. I don't think it'll ever be the same but steps are being made to repair some of the more broken elements so who knows what will happen in the future.
So that's it for me for now. Hopefully our paths will cross again.