We can all remember back to the older systems in our lives and for some those systems are not that old. We can remember the games that got us to sit in front of our televisions for hours trying to beat the final boss without a save point or searching desperately for that final upgrade to our characters. Sometimes at the awful realization that our hands had succumbed to Nintendo Thumb covered in blisters.
But of all the great times we have had with the systems of out past we have to ask ourselves, What the hell were some of these designers thinking!? there are far too many systems for me to list here but I will start with a few and I welcome all Dtoiders to bring their own examples and gamepads past that we all may have tried so hard to forget.
Below are the pictures of three gamepads in recent existence that have shot such anger into my heart that it is hard to believe these were ever released to the public either as a concept or as a full fledged product.
1st we have our standard Nintendo 64 controller:
Although a pioneer of game control with its centered joystick and Z button conveniently located to optimize FPS games, this controller was a complete piece of garbage! Why the designer thought for some reason that humans had evolved a third hand still boggles me! why not just put the control stick on the left with a D-pad under it and the c buttons on the right!? (like the GameCube) Not only is this the worst controller in my memory but I can still feel the gritty loose joystick that always seemed to crap out on every controller you happened to get in those 4 player bouts of Mariokart or Golden Eye. The asymmetrical design goes against every mode of comfort I can think of, and that is why the N64 controller gets #1 worst controller on my list.
2nd we have the Original XBOX controller:
Oh. What's that? You forgot about this beast!? Well I didn't! It has been haunting me as I still have one of these looming in a drawer somewhere in my house waiting to turn sentient and kill my whole family while we sleep. ok maybe not kill us all but I do still have a few of these in my home. I was so happy when the Controller S came out for the original XBOX I went out and bought one that only my hands could touch while my younger brothers (who didn't have jobs) were stuck using the huge beast and losing circulation in their legs as this gigantic controller rest on their laps. The functioning and button placement of this controller were all fine, and in fact has not changed much in the newest version of the 360 controller. But ZOMG Why make it so damn big!? it is as thought they just made the in house tester model huge to save time and then said "Hey screw it, lets just release this huge thing...they will never know the difference" but we knew, and hated it.
3rd we have the unreleased but equally as upsetting PlayStation 3 boomerang controller:
This controller very well could have been the most comfortable and most advanced controller in the world but because of the drastic veer away from the Dual Shock2 controller it would have been instantly tainted and although I have no basis for this statement having never held the boomerang, it looks uncomfortable and small and just isn't the PlayStation controller we all know and love. Even if you hate the lack of rumble the SIXAXIS was a much better move than the boomerang.
Alright there we have it, I said I would limit it to the newest disappointments in gaming control history. So let's have all your suggestions of the worst gamepads of all time! Let's get some seriously old school stuff in here.
Please limit it to first party console controllers only. we all know the infinite number of knock offs that are positively miserable...
Ready...GO!
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Jaguar controller.
The Nintendo 64 controller is my favorite controller ever. Holding it the d-pad way was basically a snes controller with two rows of three buttons (like a 6 button sega pad with l and r buttons) and using it the joystick way was the greatest console fps control besides the wiimote. In goldeneye I alwaysed used the controller configuration that had you moving with the c-buttons and aiming with the joystick
Does anybody remember the black controller that came with the consoles value pak at launch it looked like a gamecube controller
Good write up. I personally despise the original genesis controller. It was too big for me and having only 3 buttons sucked ass. I only ever used the 6 button controller that was released later on.
Two words, Virtual Boy. Two D Pads, four NES like buttons next to them, and the crappy system that held them together. May you burn forever for your crimes against my eyes thy foul beast!
I'll have to agree with the original xbox controller. thats more like holding a brick.
@deadhead8
I agree that controller did suck. but it was the lack of shoulder buttons that killed it for me. I was spoiled by the awesome SNES gamepad
Speaking of monsters
I never noticed how much the virtual boy controller looks like the gamecube controller, and I have a virtual boy!
Virtual Boy or the PSBoomerang. The N64 controller was awesome tho.
I'd have to say the X-box original. That ergonomic blasphemy is soley responsible for my unreasonably hostile sentiments (akin to an anti-fanboy if you will) towards anything Xbox.
Virtual Boy wins hands down because the battery pack could slip out while you were playing and thusly turn off your game.
That one humongous Coleco controller that can kill small children. It makes the Duke look like the Wimp.
Why did people have so many issues with the 64 controller? That thing was awesome.
Agreed on the brick though.
The first US Saturn controller was just insulting.
Especially when you consider how great the one already out in Japan was.
useless.
Then there's the Sega Activator:
@Hoodie
Oh man the activator was such a good call. and by good I mean it's a miserable controller. nice work
@Spykron
HAHA, I think I would prefer the bear to that controller too
Wow, I honestly liked the sega genesis controller a lot. I liked the snes one more though. I waited until a smaller controller came out for the xbox before I bought one. The duke was an absolute fucking nightmare. Jaguar controller has to be the worst of the worst, but out of the controllers I've owned, probably the n64 was the worst.
I don't understand how you can dislike the N64 controller. I think it was absolutely amazing. Probably one of the most comfortable controllers I've ever used, and a pioneer for sure.
Personally, I never had a problem with any of the ones I owned, and the stick never loosened up.
I understand what you're saying about the D-Pad being way off to the side, but that's because it was hardly ever utilized. Really, it was supposed to be a choice of "One or the Other", never "Both at the Same Time". I actually thought it was sort of bad ass having the choice... It's like, "Mutha Fuckin' D-Pad time, better switch modes" *Makes Transformer's sound*.
The Jaguar controller was total balls.
The huge Xbox one is like 90% needless plastic. I'd give it first place, Both Saturn ones are appalling though. An a kind of related level, Has anyone noticed how much the first PS1 pad sucks, after having DS1/2/3/Axis for a while?
@Aurain
Yea it really pains me to imagine playing PlayStation without analog, it just feels so empty in your hands...but I wont knock it too badly because it gave birth to the DualShock2 which is my favorite controller of all time...Until the DS3 with fancy upgraded triggers comes out
screw the original xbox controller.
I'm 5'3 and weigh less than a hundred pounds, how am I going to play xbox with that monster?