I wanted to write a RAW recap on Tuesday but I never got to my computer long enough to accomplish this goal, so I bring to you the notes I took about Monday Night RAW for 1/9/2012 in no particular order.
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Cena gets back up to find that Kane has mysteriously vanished. More likely, Kane got bored with Cena's attempts to stand back up and walked away to fetch a strong cup of coffee. Black, like his soul.

Daniel Bryan beats Kofi and Big Show comes out, Bryan tells him "Anytime, any place," to which Big Show pulls him in close and says "Fe Fi Fo Fum" or something.

Kane has finished his coffee and tries to leave for the bathroom, but oh no! They're filming a Zack Ryder promo! Hopefully he can duck back in the room before anyone notices.

Brodus Clay debuts as Funkasaurus which is a gimmick birthed from a fuzzy night between Godfather, Rikishi, and diabetes. It's unexpected, refreshing, and going to be annoying as hell after a month. Curt Hawkins' Cane got completely overshadowed by the funk.

I don't care what anyone says, that ref botched up the ending of CM Punk vs Jack Swagger. You can see it in Punk's eyes.

Kane finally gets to the bathroom and when he tries to leave, another Zack Ryder promo! If Kane didn't know any better, he might think that Ryder was stalking him.

Why is it that whenever the Four Horsemen music plays, I have to make the "Four" Handsign? I think it's written into my DNA.

Now Chris Jericho is playing off that he's too emotional to talk. It was still funny, but he's gotta talk next time, right? Rule of threes?

Kane's music interrupts the entrances for the Diva match, forcing Ryder and Eve to flee in terror. So Kane just stopped a Divas match from happening, which I believe officially turns him face.

Seriously, I have never seen more intense tire changing in all my time watching pro wrestling.

Okay, Zack's still working that tire. I totally wish he'd just say screw it and flat out steal someone else's car. On a side note, this feels like something Steph and HHH would do back in the day if they heard Austin was in the arena and he'd already flattened out the rest of DX.

Headstand headlocks? Will wonders never cease?

Kane comes out to leave the arena after his coffee and bathroom break only to see ANOTHER Ryder promo blocking his way? Third time's the charm as Kane finally destroys Ryder mumbling something about using the bathroom in peace. Cena's in pursuit, giving Ziggler the countout win.

Wait, spoke too soon. Really WWE? Ziggler's the guy you have going up against Punk at the Rumble for the title and you can't even give him a countout victory over a pre-occupied Cena? It has to be a draw? Way to build up your challenger there WWE.

Kane gets the better of Cena and leaves him and Ryder unconscious. All he wanted was ten minutes without walking in on a Ryder promo, but noooooo....

I bet you five bucks that RAW will come on air next week and we'll cut to Eve still screaming in that freaking car.