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Kwamouflage avatar 9:33 PM on 12.23.2012  (server time)
Oldtoid :: Suntoid III: Weird Dads

It’s a late Sunday. I know, but these stories one might consider pretty scary, and so in honor of Hallow’s Eve I hope you find the following newsbites to be quite to your liking.

Starting off with our mildest story here’s a tale about a man whose daughter is offered prepositions every three hours of the day: for her hand.
But why is that? Why is she SOOO desired?

Simply put it’s because of this:

That’s right, daddy dearest Sze-tsung Chao, offered a heaping whollop of $500 MILLION Hong Kong DOLLARS (THAT’S 64,479,500 AMERICAN DOLLARS!)
Now you might be telling yourself “I wouldn’t do it. No way,” but you’d be wrong. Need I remind you that 64 million dollars is A LOT of money. That kind of money is guaranteed security for those of us who aren’t foolish spenders but still have a desire for A FEW of the finer things of life. In other words, as long as you aren’t as irresponsible as MC Hammer…

…it’s safe to assume you would be financially secure indefinitely. And for some of us, that is a dream come true.

Now I know what you’re thinking.

Arranged marriage is when “a marriage planned and agreed by the families or guardians of the couple concerned.”* A monetary offer to marry a woman for the purposes of marriage with a man can be considered “selling” his daughter, IF the daughter complies or is forced to comply by physical violence or blackmail.

None of that happened.

According to my source:, Sun Yet Sen-ERM I’m sorry I meant Sze-tsung Chao’s daughter Gigi Chao (I swear it’s actually Gigi) “saw her father’s announcement as an act of love. ‘I wasn’t angry at all. I was really quite touched, very touched and very moved, by daddy’s announcement. I mean, it’s really his way of saying ‘Baby girl, I love you. You deserve more,’ basically,’ she said.”

What this really is, is a conniving move to undermine his daughter (“who is alleged to plan on marrying another woman abroad”). It’s a strategy I cannot really criticize since the man is trying to keep his public image clean in the eyes of his investors.
At the end of the day what this really boils down to is business. Regardless of what Shang Tsun-I MEAN Sze-tsung’s feelings about gay marriage are the man is trying to protect a business, which last time I checked was considered PR.

I’ll say this though: it’s still pretty funny. It feels like the premise to a really bad romantic comedy that you will only watch with a companion you know who can keep a secret.

This next story will make you never look at a refrigerator the same way again.

What this story boils down to is: man loses son, man misses son, so much so that he kept him preserved, IN THE FAMILY FRIDGE.

Meet Xueming Tian, from Huangling Chongqing, a small town in Southern China. He’s your 54 year old mild mannered ex-carpenter (spoilers: he’s retired because something happened) (double spoilers: his daughter died one hot summer day) who spends time with his wife.

But at night, when no outsider is looking, Tian tends to his son-in-the-fridge, Qinyuan.

Not ONLY is 18 year old corpse-Qinyuan kept perfectly preserved but generators are running 24/7 JUST to make sure he stays that way in case of a black out.

Now THAT’S dedication!

In all seriousness, Tian is a worn man. Both he and his wife suffered the death of their daughter who died at a younger age. It broke him. Tian decided to spend more time with his family. Unfortunately it wasn’t long before Qinyuan suffered symptoms of an incurable leukemia.

Needless to say Qinyuan’s death was the final straw. Tian wasn’t ready. He needed to do something and this was his plan!

It’s a pretty morbid story of woe and coping with death, but one that has a humorous twinge to it (much like the previous story) and I hope to have at least amused you if only for about a minute.

This has been your weekly dose of twisted stories from the East!

Oldtoid is a segment where I traverse my vault of incomplete or weird posts that never saw the Dtoid page. The topics discussed in each installment are almost guaranteed to be old news so please don’t point that out. Retreading old ground is what Oldtoid is all about. I hope you enjoy.

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