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FLICKER EFFECT - Top 5 Reasons I Didn't Blog. - Destructoid




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About
I'm a college graduate who focused almost all of his time on his studies and now wants to take a break from that life and see what he can do in the real world by making something of himself.

What does that mean? Well it means that more schooling is in my future but for now I want to get out all the game related thoughts I suppressed for 4 and a half years during my studies. That's what this blog is all about.

Do I have higher aspirations for being on Dtoid? ABSOLUTELY! I hope to be a paid writer someday (anywhere really but to be paid on Dtoid would be a dream come true). That's a nice little fantasy. But it's not about the work, it's about forcing myself to keep on writing.
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I currently write the following features:

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Suntoid III: Weird Dads
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ZENTOID
We Gamers Are Killers
An Escapist's Love of Zenonia 4
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FLICKER EFFECT
Why I Suck Lemons
Top 5 Reasons I Didn't Blog
Obligations
My Procrastination & Blogging
Player Profile
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Twitter:@kwamouflage
Kwamouflage's sites
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Keep in mind, this blog used to be titled: Redemption.

For those of you who already read my cblog series: FLICKER EFFECT, you will find irony in the lack of activity in the month of September. For those of you who haven't read FE 1 or 2 let me put it bluntly:


I failed.

I didn't fulfill a promise which this particular series was meant to do: keep me blogging. You see, if I kept making excuses in text, then I'm technically blogging and doing something constructive, whereas if I was just making excuses in my mind or wrote in some journal like Doug then I would just be excusing myself from making posts thereby cutting you readers, out. Feedback is what a cblog is all about. It's what my writing needs. After all, nothing get's better without criticism. Some of it can be harsh, sure, but with even one criticism, one can only improve.

I wanted to give you an overview of my self-observation of what "obstacles" kept me blogcrastinating*.


1. Depression
It happens. Generally I'm a happy person, but everyone has those periods in their life where they live a cycle of disappointment and frustration. It could be about school, a job, women, medical, family issues, or something else altogether. For me it has been a prospective Job hunt that has lead me down dead ends left and right. The depression only momentarily ended after finding an affordable place thus finally leaving the motel I had been in for the months of July and August. The depression soon sank in when ends weren't meeting due to work hours being cut thus sucking away any motivation I usually would have for blogging.


2. Social Networking
When I actually managed to build up the energy for using the computer I went to facebook to see how old college buddies were up to and catch up. Many of my relatives use facebook which is also a reason why I find myself in there time after time again. I do have a twitter account (@Kwamouflage) which I use for promotional purposes but twitter is such an exposed atmosphere that I rarely use it.


3. Job Hunt
Every morning I wake up around 7 am and hunt for jobs on the web. This usually lasts until 10 when I inevitably go out to harass some employer whose website I visited just the day before to ask about the prospective job opening and to give a resume to a hiring manager or human resources department. The month of September had been full of interviews for me. So full that the amount of "no's" received in a row were so damaging to my zeal for hunting that I ceased to do anything else but dwell on my failings. These were very dark days where I did not much of anything, including eating (I lost a couple of pounds as a result).


4. Sharing situation.
Currently I share one web computer in a lobby with many people, as a result my computer time is extremely limited even though I write a lengthy post once in a while. This is because I have a personal computer that isn't connected to the internet. Most of what I do is save whatever I'm writing about via usb and then transfer it on my own personal unhooked computer, write the blog and then come back with all the information for uploading. Much more convoluted than what you thought right? To this date I have never actually used the given processor. I sometimes post half-done articles for hiding that might be good for future "one-shot" articles when I have nothing new to say. Anyways, not to digress to much further I'd like to add that the "Sharing Situation", "Social Networking", and "Entertainment" are pretty much a tug-of-war for my web-time.


5. Entertainment
To combat depression I decided to indulge in television programs on Hulu, mainly comedy and anime but also YouTube videos along the lines of documentaries. Ironically, a television series on YouTube that has saved me time and time again from falling further into the jaws of depression has been none other than G4TechTv's Icons (later known as G4's Game Makers) which cover major genres of gaming or notable creators. Thoughts of nostalgia washes away thoughts of today therefore becoming very therapeutic. Somehow I managed to save myself this time around through this distraction thus becoming another salvation.

Can I repeat this cycle? Most certainly. Will I allow it? No. I will continue to fight because to let it happen to you is to allow yourself to lose in life. Happy thoughts come from trying to fill yourself with them. A thought that I keep in mind when on the edge: If perseverance is lead, then happy thoughts are uranium. I will push forward in life and of course write while consuming nerd content because that is the life I sought out for myself.

Just have to take it one day at a time.

Well there you have it, a very apologetic but also pathetically honest Flicker Effect. I hope you enjoyed it and hope you stay loyal readers in the future!

Until next time Dtoiders, C you later.
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*Blogcrastination is a term I developed back in Flicker Effect 1 and 2. In short it means "procrastinating your blog updates."
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