Oh, Hideo. Kojima-san. You crazy mish-mash of a man.
You, you, you and you're super lengthy cut-scenes, crazy plot twists and weird obsession with snakes and foxes.
You, who make videogames that are at the forefront of the argument for artistic merit in our medium, yet you, who decry such an idea on the silly notion that "You can beat a videogame, you can't beat art, so videogames aren't art". Psshh... Thanks a lot.
You who have such a storied and deep franchise that I just want to absorb it all like a little nerd-sponge. But alas, "easy", "simple", "accessible"... you know not these words.
You see, I have always wanted to experience the Metal Gear Solid Extravaganza but never really did. Every time I tried I ended up being cornered by 18 dudes while trying to figure out how to get Snake to not be pressed flat against a wall, which apparently takes 19 button presses, and masters in bio-mechanics.
Not really, but...
You see, I'm all for developers using complexity to give a player more control, and difficulty to create a major sense of accomplishment, but isn't an elite operative supposed to be able to kill a guy with his thumb, shoot off another guy's moustache from 20 paces and rewire an electric razor into a stun gun without breaking a sweat?
I admit, I am the failure here. Spoiled on years of platformers, and then ruined by the super-intuitive likes of Splinter Cell. I should have tried harder, I should have given more of my time and focus, I should have skipped that damn assignment, quit that shitty ska band, dumped that girl (who never loved me anyway), and learned to master Metal Gear Solid! I am a GAMER, right? WTF?, me!
I have tried to play every single MGS title (not counting Metal Gear Rising, which I think doesn't count [actually, I am suddenly wondering why the dang heck I haven't played that one yet!]) and I never got far at all before giving up. Until now.
Oh, complain about the length all you want, Ground Zeroes is my cup of "Don't fuck with me"-tea. It's a beautiful little minuet called "Here is how you feel like a Bad-Ass." I am hoping that maybe it will inspire me enough to actually go back and rock my way through at least the main entries prior to this one. Maybe I'll be able to make as much sense as sense can be made out of this crazy universe Kojima has concocted! Maybe I'll even be up to snuff in time for The Phantom Pain!...
Or maybe not.
Either way, I am happy that I have finally played a piece of Kojima's world that resonated with me. And if I never beat another MGS title, I'll always have my little Ground Zeroes, of which I can say, with a smug little grin "Yeah, I beat that..."