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Krow-Kupo avatar 5:07 PM on 02.19.2009  (server time)
Out of My Way; Bosses in Video Games: Andross

And so my series continues, because I didn't see anyone else doing it and video game bosses stand out as some of my most poignant virtual memories. Whether it be Mother Brain, Bowser, Ganon, Tyrant, or some overpowered mother fucker from Final Fantasy, bosses are integral parts of video games. I want to focus on the emotions I felt when facing these horrors over the mechanics of actually fighting them. Hopefully this feature will help trigger some of your special memories.


Before some of you get your panties in a bunch, Iíll have you know that this blog is about Star Fox 64ís* version of Andross, not the SNES originals. Now that we have that simple fact out of the way, letís get down to it.

Venom is a scary planet. Itís barren, dark, and full of Andross' armada. I never got into Star Fox 64 for more than a couple of playthroughs, but Venom stood out as an epic conclusion to an epic game. Whether it was the orchestral score, the battle inside the temple, or the final fight with Andross himself, I always felt like I was battling for the good of the Lylat system.

When I first entered the tunnel that would lead me to Andross, I was tense. He was taunting me, trying to shake up my concentration. I wasnít going to let him distract me though, and I fought my way through the tunnel to his chamber. When that giant monkey face appeared I dropped my controller and screamed. I wasnít expecting this.

Still, I knew I had to fight on. Using the reasoning skills that every eight year old comes equipped with, I discovered Androssís weak points and blasted them until he became vulnerable. Dodging intense laser fire and the swats from his massive hands was no easy task, but it was one that I took on with all of the determination of someone who knew the consequences of failure.

I think that for a brief moment, I became Fox inside of the Arwing. I had always been prone to daydreams, but this had to be one of the best Iíd ever had. My distraction nearly led to my demise though, and when I heard the familiar beep of imminent death, I returned to the battle with an even greater focus. Soon, Andross would fall.

It was much to my surprise when his face fell off and he became a chomping robot freak. I promptly blew up this freak and sat back in satisfaction as a very Star Wars esque ending sequence was played.

It would take me eight years to realize that I hadnít really defeated Andross, I had just defeated his shell.

Androssís True Form

Apologies that the video is such low quality, but it seems that everyone on youtube who likes Star Fox 64 is absolutely retarded.

Yes, he turns into a giant talking brain. Iím not sure what to make of that to be honest with you, but when I recently discovered this on my Wii, I was shocked. To think that I had never defeated Andross all those years ago, that he had lived on thanks to my foolish assumption that he had been defeated. This time I was going to finish it.

The battle wasnít too difficult, perhaps he had been wearing the protective mechanical suit for a reason, but the rush of satisfaction that hit me when I did finally kill the big brain/ape definitely made up for the lack of challenge. Just a few shots into his eyes and a few more into the heart of his brain and he went down

Sure, he tried to take me with him but I narrowly escaped with my Arwing intact, the better of the two of us. I watched as Fox returned home to Corneria, and I felt that the war I had started so many years ago had finally come to a close.

I have now written two of these in one day, CG, I hope you enjoyed it. I really wish I could have found better videos, but I guess the majority of the people who would record this sort of thing still arenít capable of being intelligent human beings. Iíll give them a few years. Also, the SNES Andross remains amazing to look at thus the inclusion of that picture. By the way, I wrote this blog earlier today as well and no one read it because it was instantly buried underneath 6 short blogs. Also, I really don't have a very clear memory of this battle, which should help explain why this has so much filler.

*Or Lylat Wars, you twats

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