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Favorite games:
Breath of Fire III
Breath of Fire IV
Chrono Trigger
Chrono Cross
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
Final Fantasy series
Gradius III
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
Mega Man series
Mega Man Legends
Mega Man Legends 2
Mega Man X series
No More Heroes
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
Paper Mario
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Persona 3
Persona 4
Phantasy Star II
Phantasy Star IV
Pikmin II
Pokemon Gold
R-Type III
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
An assortment of other games I'm forgetting

I'm an aspiring writer, musician, and artist. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm very talented in any of those fields, but that won't stop me from throwing the titles around. I'm presently a high school graduate who has no idea what he wants to do with his life.

Contact me. I'm bored.

AIM: clumsybigfoot
MSN: deadz837@hotmail.com
Gtalk: zachery.norman@gmail.com

(Last Updated Saturday October 2nd, 2010)

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Gamertag: Clumsybigfoot

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Kauza's review of Mass Effect 2
Krow \| 12:33 AM on 11.28.2009	27 comments

"Dear Destructiod, You might be disappointed to hea rthat I played that game Mass Effect tonight and I am very certain that it deserves a score of exactly 3.0, based mostly on the fact that there aren;t nearly enough tits in it and that I wasn't able tyo play as a rabid sabercat with a mean sense of vengeance. I hope you will play it and support Ubisoft. Thamks you and goodnight. Love Ka.za"

[Kauza is too drunk to post this right now, so I'm doing it for him. Enjoy!]

Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

Those who have fapped: Trebz

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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26

Andrew Kauz

What is this I didn't.

Krow

Don't lie. I'd take a screencap if Windows Explorer would stop acting up.

Andrew Kauz

I'll explore her windows.

Krow

BONUS

(11:45:14 PM) Andrew Kauz: It's like I reviewed two games at once.
(11:45:18 PM) Andrew Kauz: It's a metareview.
(11:45:23 PM) Andrew Kauz: Because I am postmodern.
(11:46:27 PM) Andrew Kauz: I should stop posting comments on Dtoid.
(11:48:13 PM) Andrew Kauz: I think I just propositioned the entirety of the frontpage.
(11:48:23 PM) Andrew Kauz: I might live to regret that later.
(11:49:38 PM) Andrew Kauz: Hahaha I said drunking on Twitter. That's not a word.
(11:49:45 PM) Zachery Norman: It is now.
(11:50:34 PM) Andrew Kauz: I'm glad that my Twitter is protected tonight.
(11:51:31 PM) Andrew Kauz: I have to get up at 7:00 tomorrow to take my niece to the zoo.
(11:51:40 PM) Andrew Kauz: I are responsible uncle.
(11:51:43 PM) Zachery Norman: Make sure you're drunk when you do it.
(11:51:48 PM) Zachery Norman: And tell her about your review of ME2.
(11:52:08 PM) Andrew Kauz: She will be very pleased to hear of my thoughts on the game.
(11:53:07 PM) Andrew Kauz: Wow I have three tabs of Facebook open. This bodes ill for me.
(11:53:23 PM) Zachery Norman: Jesus man
(11:53:25 PM) Andrew Kauz: Fuck I spelled Destructoid wrong too?
(11:53:32 PM) Zachery Norman: It's okay
(11:53:35 PM) Zachery Norman: That's how Garison spells
(11:53:36 PM) Zachery Norman: it
(11:53:45 PM) Andrew Kauz: My credibility is forever destructoided.
(11:55:41 PM) Andrew Kauz: Have I ever told you that I have a fern in my bathroom?
(11:55:52 PM) Zachery Norman: Hahahah
(11:58:26 PM) Andrew Kauz: It's not real.
(11:58:42 PM) Andrew Kauz: But I keep it on the sink counter. It looks sort of nice.
(11:58:51 PM) Andrew Kauz: I've told you how large my bathroon is.
(12:01:56 AM) Zachery Norman: Guys my age suck.
(12:02:32 AM) Andrew Kauz: I just brushed my teeth in the closet.
(12:02:48 AM) Zachery Norman: What
(12:03:15 AM) Andrew Kauz: I put the toothpaste on my electric toothbrush and then walked into the closet and bruched them.
(12:03:24 AM) Zachery Norman: lord
(12:03:48 AM) Andrew Kauz: It wasn't much different than brushing them in the bathroom other than the fact that I was surrounded by clothes.

Krow

BONUS #2

(12:05:49 AM) Zachery Norman: Don't forget to MSPaint a santa hat onto your avatar.
(12:06:01 AM) Andrew Kauz: I can't MS.
(12:06:02 AM) Andrew Kauz: Pauint.
(12:06:04 AM) Andrew Kauz: Paint.
(12:06:31 AM) Zachery Norman: Tomorrow then.
(12:06:43 AM) Andrew Kauz: I can't MS tomorrow.
(12:06:45 AM) Andrew Kauz: Painty.
(12:06:47 AM) Andrew Kauz: Paint/
(12:06:50 AM) Andrew Kauz: Paint./
(12:06:53 AM) Zachery Norman: Download Paint.Net
(12:06:55 AM) Zachery Norman: Do that.
(12:06:56 AM) Andrew Kauz: I will do this until I get it right.
(12:06:59 AM) Andrew Kauz: P{auint/
(12:07:01 AM) Zachery Norman: You need a santa hat avatar.
(12:07:05 AM) Andrew Kauz: Mother fuck it is getting worse.
(12:07:08 AM) Andrew Kauz: Paint.
(12:07:11 AM) Zachery Norman: GLORIOUS
(12:07:13 AM) Andrew Kauz: I did it real slow that time.
(12:07:18 AM) Andrew Kauz: So that it would be good.

CWal37

I lol'd

Elsa

LOL! After reading the blog and the comments... I feel drunk!
(and I have the odd desire to try brushing my teeth in a closet to see how different it is!)

garison

SHITTIEST GAME EVER MADE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Tubatic

"I just brushed my teeth in the closet. "

I approve.

Webnet

.... Laughing but very confused :)

Stevil

"Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?" - Gene Wilder in See No Evil, Hear No Evil

Andrew Kauz

I love how I'm perfectly able to type vengeance but not my own name.

Wintersocks

This is.

Xzyliac

Hot.

Naim Master

hmmm... the trend in santa hat avatars made this a worthy read.

Gatsby

Bets review in Destructoid History

Gyrael

Most excellent exercise of JOURNALISM.

HiddenAHB

The comments surpass the blog when it comes to lolness.
You need to get drunk more often Kauza.

Gyrael

And this is probably gonna get frontpaged because Kauza is a fucking ASSHOLE.

FunkzillaBOT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Awesome.

Andrew Kauz

Hahaha Gyrael. If this got frontpaged I would vow to write my next ten blogs drunk. Thank god I will never have to do that.

Stella Wong

drunking is my new favorite word I will use that proudly <3

amazing. I fuckin' laughed.

Monodi

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kyle MacGregor

Fail? Oh come now, this is surely topsauce.

Wintersocks

Oh! He said it! Make sure this gets frontpaged. I need more drunken hilarity in my week.

FRONTPAGE DAT SHIZZLE.

gatorsax2010

Why did I not see this until now?

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