1. I hate myself

Given that fact I hope it becomes painfully obvious that this list is going to be lacking in content and quality. I imagine that around number five or so it'll break down into a meme of some kind. Until we hit that point, enjoy my flabbergasty.

2. I just got a kitten



His name is Yarko.

3. I have a boner for Miss Piggy



I mean, who wouldn't? I think this sexual obsession with a fictional pig puppet stems from an inherent love for slightly chubby ladies. Of course, it could just be that my inner most fantasy is to get it on with a pig. Oh well.

4. I firmly believe that the original Harvest Moon is the greatest game ever created.



And I will fight you to the death if you disagree. I don't think I've played any game more than I've played Harvest Moon, which my seem odd to those of you who like aliens, swords, sorcery, etc.

5. EVERBODY GET UP IT'S TIME TO SLAM NOW*

We got a real jam goin' down
Welcome to the Space Jam
Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam
Alright....

Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam
Come on and slam, if you wanna jam

Hey you, watchagonna do
Hey you, watcha gonna do
Hey you, watcha gonna do
Hey you, watcha gonna do
Party people in the house lets go
It's your boy "Jayski" a'ight so
Pass that thing and watch me flex
Behind my back, you know what's next
To the jam, all in your face
Wassup, just feel the bass
Drop it, rock it, down the room
Shake it, quake it, space KABOOM...Jus
work that body, work that body
Make sure you don't hurt no body
Get wild and lose your mind
Take this thing into over-time
Hey DJ, TURN IT UP
New CD, goin' burn it up
C'mon y'all get on the floor
So hey, let's go a'ight

[Chorus 1]

[Chorus 2:]
Wave your hands in the air if you feel fine
We're gonna take it into overtime
Welcome to the Space Jam
Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam
Alright...

C'mon it's time to get hype say "Whoop there it is"
C'mon all the fellas say "Whoop there it is"
C'mon one time for the ladies say "Whoop there it is"
Now all the fellas say "Whoop there it is"
C'mon and run, baby run
C'mon, C'mon, do it, run baby run
Yeah, you want a hoop...so shoot, baby shoot
C'mon and slam, and welcome to the jam
C'mon and slam, if you wanna jam
C'mon and slam, and welcome to the jam
C'mon and slam, if you wanna jam

Slam, Bam, Thank you ma'am
Get on the floor and jam
If you see me on the microphone
Girl you got me in a zone
C'mon, C'mon and start the game
Break it down, tell me your name
We the team, I'm the coach
Let's dance all night from coast to coast
Just slide, from left to right
Just slide, yourself enlight
You see me, drop the base
3-1-1 all in your face
Jam on it, let's have some fun
Jam on it, One on One
You run the "O" and I run the "D"
So C'mon baby just jam for me

[Chorus 1]
[Chorus 2]

Hey ladie
"Yah"
Y'all ready stop?
"NO!"
Y'all wanna know why?
"Why?"
Cuz it's a Slam Jam

Fellas
"Yah"
Y'all ready to stop
"NO!"
Y'all wanna know why?
"Why?"
It's time to Slam Jam

[Chorus 1]
[Chorus 2]

C'mon, everybody say "Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah"
C'mon, C'mon let me hear you say "Hey ey ey O"
C'mon, C'mon everybody "Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah"
Just take the time to say "Hey ey ey O"
Check it out, Check it out
Y'all ready for this?
"You know it"
Nah...y'all ain't ready!
Y'all ready for this?
"You know it!"
C'mon check it out, Y'all ready to jam?
"You know it!"
Nah...I, I don't think so
Y'all ready to jam?
"You know it!"
C'mon

*Fuck you Google/WMG, fuck you straight up the pooper all the way to hell.