On my last blog I received a comment telling me to re-write the experiences I've had as a gamer in about fifteen years. He felt that my blog wasn't relatable enough to the Destructoid community. I'd ask that today you try to look past my age, and instead look back on a similar gaming experience in your life. Mostly though, I'm deathly afraid that you'll ignore me because I'm not as experienced as you are.



Before you run away at the sight of that all to familiar image, I'll have you know that this isn't a Final Fantasy VII fap-fest. I'm an admitted Final Fantasy fanatic; I've played every game at some time during my life. The tragic twist on this love affair of mine is that the only Final Fantasy I've ever managed to finish is the original; remade for the Gameboy Advance. The only other one I've come close to completing is Final Fantasy IX; which I quit right before the final boss. After a certain number of failed playthroughs I began to question what was driving me to come back time after time; fighting the same battles and experiencing the events within.

The answer lies within the very essence of Final Fantasy itself. Inside each of the games respected worlds lies familiarity. Familiar places, familiar people, and a consistency that the real world doesn't allow. As with any other video game, the Final Fantasy series serves as an escape from reality into a world much more exciting and interesting than our own. When I was younger I had a real fear of Sephiroth and Kuja. The motives behind their actions proving to be a challenging thing for a seven year old to wrap his head around. To me they were not only the "bad guys"; they were also the very essence of what I was afraid of. The unknown.


He might be a "trap", but he's one of the scariest villains in video game history.

I briefly shared the story of how I acquired my first Final Fantasy here, but for the sake of ease of use I'll reiterate here. When I was nearly seven years old, I had achieved a solid A+ on my report card. True to her word, my mother took me to the nearby Target to pick out a brand new game for my Playstation. I have a vague memory of seeing Cloud's spiky blond hair behind the display case, the Shinra tower looming ominously over his head. I told her that was the one I wanted, and she went to go fetch the cashier. I remember the look on his face when he realized how young I was, and he told her that the game in question might be too much for a seven year old, that it would go straight over my head. He was, of course, right, but I begged and pleaded with her until she caved and laid down the twenty dollars to purchase me the game.


Despite being somewhat cliched, I still love the cast of FF7, pre-whoring

My reading skills not quite up to the caliber of the Final Fantasy, she would sit with me and read me the text boxes. I naturally progressed very slowly due to my lack of reading skills, and my desire to understand the games plot. Slowly, over time, my reading comprehension skills grew to the point where I could play and read Final Fantasy VII without the assistance of my mother, much to her delight. This marked a strange phase for me though, where I would run from every random encounter so that I could get to the next plot point faster. It wasn't about fighting monsters, it was about reading my interactive book. Unfortunately, this halted my progress near the end of Disc One when I was so massively underleveled that it was proving impossible to progress.


I know everyone in this picture by name.

Nearly ten years later I have yet to complete Final Fantasy VII. I'm fear that I will fall back into old habits and reach the end, delete my save, and start the journey over again. Maybe I feel like the game will lose its appeal, the magic that drew me into it in the first place, if I do finally take that step and finish it. Avoidance is something we're all guilty of, whether it be within games or in the real world. If I do ever catch the man in black, I guarantee you that Destructoid will be the first to know. Until that day I'll enjoy Final Fantasy for everything it's worth.