I need a very cold shower....

I'm not going to lie to you guys , I am a very faithfull Bubble Bobble fan , I love the franchise and the original NES port is probably one of my favorite party games of all time. I remember two years ago my friends and I played the game till four o'clock in the morning non-stop after a delicious pizza and some Contra action.

So needless to say I was pretty excited to hear that Bobble Bubble Neo was coming up on XBLA this very day. Here's a very good opportunity to boot up my 360 again a play an awesome game capable of holding four player coop like Castle Crashers. Much less expensive than anything else right now and a couple of playtrought of B&B would probably kill some time until Katamari Forever comes out next week.

Well I was wrong , I was so fucking wrong I am now an angry motherfucker. Fuck this fucking shit Taito shat on everybody on this one. The game is fun , hell it's still the classic I love and still praise to this day. No the big problem that really made me popped was the fucking controls. This game is so broken it's unbelievable , the jumps are way off , the 180 degrees turns are obsolete (See level 72) and the hit detection is worst than R-Type.

I don't fucking believe it , I'm still in a state of shock on how I cannot be good or play this game at all. Mind you , I'm not the best player of Bobble Bubble but I was still able to finish the game with very few loses not too long ago. But right now I am completely shattered by it's difficulty. Bubbled monsters can actually kill you know for some reasons , the bubbles are moving around like your character weights 5 tons and the worst part is the hit boxes of those little dinosaurs.

When did it came to mind for a developper or in that case TAITO, to completely fuck up such an amazing experience , there so much bad design implemented in this game it's infuriating. There is someting about adding 3D models for the in-game characters that completely misses the point. Why in the holy mother of hell do you need a bigger hit-box on a reflex based puzzle game , it is absolute non-sense. You cannot break a mechanic in order to make a game more beautiful. It's imperative that it doesn't affect the core gameplay and in this way provide a better experience all together while retaining it's classical flavor.

Bionic Commando was the perfect example and Street Fighter II HD Remix aswell. I hate it when a games do this to me , when the overall experience is overshadowed by frustrating and awfull controls. The same thing happened when I tried to play Megaman II on my IpodTouch, one of the best game ever created ruined and done better on a fucking Sony Ericsson cellphone.

Same could be said about Scribblenauts right now , I have never in my life cursed so much on games than this week. I think the Podtoid crew resumed it pretty well when talking about the game. It's a genious piece of software but good god are the controls.......

I DUNN LAIK BOARKIN CONTROLS! K?!