I feel obligated to write this blog you know , I don't want to be labeled as an irated French Canadian complaining about everything but I have to give you guys my 2 cents about this matter. And I know that it is not intentional to think that the law on which I'm going to talk about is stupid but you have to understand the other side of the coin here.


For most of you , English is a universal truth on which all living being on the internet should master as a primary tool of communication and I completely agree with this statement. The "Star Trek" tongue , it is spoken mostly everywhere in the business and entertainment of the western world and revered as one of the most universal dialects of human kind. English is to the modern world what Latin was to the Antiquity , the most common language used by the Occident in a time of which a great power was or is in place during that period. Once Roman gouvernors than Lords of the British Crown.

You are probably wondering where I'm going with this? Well going all historical on your heads is the last thing I want to do but turns out there is about 9 millions hard-headed resisting Gaulois still left in North America mostly in the Province of Quebec.

So what does it have in common with Videogames? Well we play them... that's a pretty shallow statement but it also turns out that we have laws to legislate all of our entertainment, politic and education systems in order to prevent our beloved tongue to be lost in time like tears in rain...

****Spoiler alert ... go watch Blade Runner first if you want to see this clip......****

This is probably why I love Blade Runner so much , Freedom , emancipation of a kind, creed or people , Do we really have to suffer extinction to be remembered by mankind? I think not.

There is a lot of edgy subjects concerning our native tongue and as of late , videogames have been a major one in our societal discourse. I'm going to give you some example to show you guys where I'm coming from;

Last year Rock Band 2 was embargoed by the Quebec gouvernement because a bilingual version of the game was available elsewhere in the world namely France, the state did not permit any sells for that title. Of course it was still sold illegaly by many retailers at the time because like books , movies or anything else the only thing required was a billingual packaging (Who's going to look if the game has both languages just by looking at the box , if there are french writting on it, it must be french right?). But not that time , the law was clear and simple ; Any form of retail or rental digital entertainment was to be translated in both French and English in order to be sold in the province of Quebec or had to have a seperated version translated by the publishers in order to be legaly sold. (EA , Ubisoft , Microsoft Studios SCEA, These are the companies that applied to this law)

For a while we didn't have any problems , Fable II had a french version , Mass Effect , Bioshock pretty much all of the titles we're offered in both French and English and it was great. I had the privilege to consume my favorite hobby in the language that I wanted (English , because yes I strongly believe that if you want to play videogames you should know at least a tad bit of english and not rely on a native language to hold your hand) while other people who didn't had the opportunity or exposition to learn english we're capable of playing them in French.

(Montréal and Sherbrooke on a wider spectrum are the only places in Quebec where you are going to have a very large English speaking community)

So what's the problem Kraid? What are you complaining about then? Well there it is.

As I stated before , I saw this with my own eyes , I was working in retail at the time and as a manager at a Quebec owned Videogame store brand. I saw the tidal wave coming , because right after the new year passed the law became more and more effective and went official as of March '09.

So this is when it hit our shores; As of today, 38% of videogames sold in the Province of Quebec are bilingual or at least possess a billingual case and manual. There is 62% of games that are concidered illegal in my province only because 85% of the total population as been speaking french for the past 450 years.

Not only did the videogame industry was absolutely incapable of maintaning such an updated prefix for a very small portion of the market but we have to suffer for it due to our gouvernement incompetence. THERE IS NO LEGISLATIONS OR ORGANISATIONS dealing with this problem. There is no way for us to get these games translated because many companies like Atlus , NIS , EA (outside of Canada) , Konami , Capcom are refusing or down right closing their doors because of the law on videogames. They do not want to translate an entire game for a very small market and it's totally understandable.

The only thing that really bothers me about this whole thing is that we are paying the price; Oh Quebec is such a pain in the ass , or Quebec this , Quebec that. I'm going to be straight with you guys , probably 95% of the consumers I've talked to (French speaking of course) during my time in retail we're completely against the law and found it to be as useless as anybody else (Mind you we we're in Montreal, probably one of the most billingual cities in the world where English and French are used daily) It's a very complicated and harsh topic to get into so I'm going to stick with the basics , (If you want to hear more about the subject I would more than gladly talk about it in private or in a gathering)



Outside of Montreal , there are concentrated pockets of English speaking folks but the vast majority is occupy by us silly Quebecers.

To get back on the topic at hand ; The thing is even thought Quebec consumers are hostile towards the law myself included , we still respect it. And here's the weird dilemma on which I think I'm going to end this rant because this is becoming way too long for my taste.

We want to be served in French , play the game in English and talk about it in French.

It's not that we don't like the English language , hell I would never play a game in my native tongue because like I said a game should be played or experienced in it's native language like movies or music.

Do we translate American or English Canadian music? Of course not , same should be said for videogames but ; Our population is not enough exposed to Shakespeare's tongue because we have bounded our culture and our tongue with what we define ourselves as a people for the last four centuries.


Nous parlons le Français en Amérique .

Maybe it's the fact that it's now 3:00AM up in here and that my hands hurt from too much Borderlanization and the fact that I'm kinda mellow right about now , mainly because I'm listenning to Method Man's Tical album as I write this C-Blog. ANYWAY! I better get started before I fall asleep on my keyboard.

For those of you who are still one the fence about getting Borderlands or want to have a good old time of videogame playing before the final game rush of '09 well let me tell you very clearly.

WHAT TEH HELL R U WAITINGS FOARZ!

The game's amazing and it's probably the best coop you'll ever get until Left 4 Dead 2 drops and I'm still pushing it. Borderlands is straight up fun alone or with friends and you would be a goddamn fool passing over this great title. (2K I'm waiting for that generous check KTHX)

Borderlands is freaking great and a lot of DToiders have done it justice by many great C-Blogs impressions but as far as I'm concerned I'm here to talk you guys into something very important that I have come to realized in the past days. You need to , NO ! You are obligated to finish the game and start a Playthrough 2 save game in order to fully appreciate this gem.

Much like any quest based RPGs Borderlands kinda falls flat in the first hours by giving you very simple and repetitive missions à la Assassin's Creed or World of Warcraft but don't be fooled by the bland nature of these missions and by all means KEEP PLAYING. To be honest I personnaly rushed the entire first playthrough by running and shooting like I was running from the cat. Seriously I think I finished the last quest in an hour by skypping enemies and shooting the shit out of foes with my trusthy SMG.

The game truely shines however when the difficulty is upted a whole lot with the New Game + and for that you need to finish the game. Gearbox are freaking genious of RPG making they nailed it right on the spot not only are the loots and experience all ranked up with your level but the enemies also which is kinda natural you would think but HOLY FUCKING SHIT , you ain't seen nothing yet.

Let's put it at that ; Have you ever finished a battle shooting your way thru every centimeter against 5 BAD MUTHAS MOBS? (Which are the upgraded version of Badasses or Elites) and about 15 other opponents raging between bloodthristy creatures to beefed up thugs, well I did.



And it's probably one of the most addictive and satisfying experience I have played in a very long time. That is particulary why I dictate you to keep playing even if you have finished the story line once. Your initial playthrought will not provide the same intensity that Playtrought 2 offers.
The amount of mobs is extremely increased and the encounters pack a real punch.

You will be most likely to be equiped with 85% of purples and with a nearly completed skill tree, you'll feel like a total badass even if you are playing your life each time you're pulling the trigger.

We all love a challenge and the fact that we have to play about 20 hours of Borderlands before we encounter that little bugger is kinda dissapointing but once you've left the whom of I-Will-Hold-Your-Hand-Kindergarden you'll never want to go back in that comfortable pussy of a nest.

So my fellow D-Toiders , if don't already have , go buy this game and anticipate that sweet smell of Hardcorism in your trousers.

I'm out son!



See I'm a bad mutha!

I need a very cold shower....

I'm not going to lie to you guys , I am a very faithfull Bubble Bobble fan , I love the franchise and the original NES port is probably one of my favorite party games of all time. I remember two years ago my friends and I played the game till four o'clock in the morning non-stop after a delicious pizza and some Contra action.

So needless to say I was pretty excited to hear that Bobble Bubble Neo was coming up on XBLA this very day. Here's a very good opportunity to boot up my 360 again a play an awesome game capable of holding four player coop like Castle Crashers. Much less expensive than anything else right now and a couple of playtrought of B&B would probably kill some time until Katamari Forever comes out next week.

Well I was wrong , I was so fucking wrong I am now an angry motherfucker. Fuck this fucking shit Taito shat on everybody on this one. The game is fun , hell it's still the classic I love and still praise to this day. No the big problem that really made me popped was the fucking controls. This game is so broken it's unbelievable , the jumps are way off , the 180 degrees turns are obsolete (See level 72) and the hit detection is worst than R-Type.

I don't fucking believe it , I'm still in a state of shock on how I cannot be good or play this game at all. Mind you , I'm not the best player of Bobble Bubble but I was still able to finish the game with very few loses not too long ago. But right now I am completely shattered by it's difficulty. Bubbled monsters can actually kill you know for some reasons , the bubbles are moving around like your character weights 5 tons and the worst part is the hit boxes of those little dinosaurs.

When did it came to mind for a developper or in that case TAITO, to completely fuck up such an amazing experience , there so much bad design implemented in this game it's infuriating. There is someting about adding 3D models for the in-game characters that completely misses the point. Why in the holy mother of hell do you need a bigger hit-box on a reflex based puzzle game , it is absolute non-sense. You cannot break a mechanic in order to make a game more beautiful. It's imperative that it doesn't affect the core gameplay and in this way provide a better experience all together while retaining it's classical flavor.

Bionic Commando was the perfect example and Street Fighter II HD Remix aswell. I hate it when a games do this to me , when the overall experience is overshadowed by frustrating and awfull controls. The same thing happened when I tried to play Megaman II on my IpodTouch, one of the best game ever created ruined and done better on a fucking Sony Ericsson cellphone.

Same could be said about Scribblenauts right now , I have never in my life cursed so much on games than this week. I think the Podtoid crew resumed it pretty well when talking about the game. It's a genious piece of software but good god are the controls.......

I DUNN LAIK BOARKIN CONTROLS! K?!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT BATMAN!! This is all I have to say. This game is probably my biggest suprise of '09 and probably one of the best game I have played in my life. OK I might be exaggerating a little bit but seriously as I have stated in my impressions of the game, Arkham Asylum delivers on every aspects. The boss fights are diverse . the combat is brutal , the overall platforming and stealth gameplay are top notch, the story above all is delivered brilliantly.

I have finished the game at 68% meaning that there is a lot of things that I've left off during these pass 10-12 hours and this is not counting the challenges and the bonus content.

There is nothing more satisfying than crowd controlling in that game , you feel good about yourself and it makes you fell like a MAAAAAANNN. And there are some sequences in the game that left me completely speechless by the shier genious they were done.


I'm definitely going to give a in-depths look in my next Brinstar Depths once everybody will have had the chance to pick it up because this game is cash money.

Once again I highly recommend getting this.

This game deserves 11 Tyranitars out of ten.

Disclaimer: This blog will not contain any spoilers from the story of the overall content of the game.

I was lucky enough to get from one of my supplier today an handfull of copies of Batman Arkham Asylum and I wanted to share my experience so far in order to enlighted you with some of my concern and praise for the game.

I had time to play about three hours into the game tonigh and I am far far behind the expected schedule for modern videogame releases. I have heard from many people who tested the game that it should take about 20 hours to get throught the story and complete the bare minimum , I'm starting to feel why.

Not that is a bad thing of course ; the game takes itself very slowly and many of you who seen the demo know that it is not an action brawler at all since pretty much all the fights are scripted into certain areas of the map. So far the game is devided in three distinct paths , Exploration (Detective Mode) , Stealth and Combat.

Althought the game is fairly linear and the puzzles are quite straight foward (for now) I found myself very suprised to find hidden places and alternative routes that I didn't noticed the first time. This is probably one of the best aspect of the game being that the first time throught you're gonna stumble and might even complete certain rooms of the Asylum without the proper course of action you'd wanted it. So by adding the knowlegde that certain areas can be approched differently it let you as the player think about what you've could've done and most certainly encourage you to play it again.

The gadgets can be used both in combat or in Stealth mode. The upgrade system is kinda confusing for now since most of the time the upgraded moves and gadgets require a very specific sequence to be activated or used by Batman.

The story is good , the voice acting is excellent (Mark Hamill is outstanding) if you are a fan of Batman or have the desire to beat the shit out of every villian in the comics (Most of them) it is a very satisfying game. (Mainly because the combat is fucking brutal)

The only downside and I'm saying this in all modesty is the graphical quality of most of the humans NPCs present in the game being more of less badly designed or just plain ugly due to the lack of polish; It's only a minor concern thought since most of the key characters a very well rendered. However it feels out of place in some scenes because overall the Asylum is very well made and beautiful to look at.

So yeah all in all the first couple of hours we're pretty satisfying and I didn't had any hype whatsoever for this game , it delivered in every aspects of what a good stealth action game should be and it has a very classic style of beat'em ups at the same time.

DC comic fans , Batman fans , Hitman fans and even Tenchu fans should find they're jam in this merry title. Rocksteady has nailed the Eidos way of doing Stealth action game and this only could be for the best; The Hitman serie was outstanding and Blood Money was a masterpiece.

Arkham Asylum is the best stealth action game I have played since Metal Gear Solid 4.

Go pick it up when you have the opportunity it's worth every penny.

Quick reminder ; I've previously stated that my blogs would be weekly and that I vowed to fulfill JOURNALISM, Well my fellow gamers.. I lied; I am a clever con artist...it is regratable but actually I've been way too busy with my biddings and to be honest , Sassy Bounty hunters propinquity are less than few in my lair nowadays. So inspiration is not to sly either.

Enough rambling pilgrims! A blog draws near!

Since I was a little green monster growing up in my resident Brinstar , way after the advent of Super Metroid and Donkey Kong Country 2 , I've always had a sweet spot in my little reptilian heart for Startegic war games. It is not suprising that two slots in my top ten videogames of all time are occupied by representatives of that genre.

With the clairvoyance of my JOURNALISM I can already hear you say:

SHEEYEAH SON! STARCRAFT IS LAIK TEH BEST SHIET EVAR MAYNE ! ISS LAIK STRAIGHT UP YOUSE BUILD A BASE AND THEEN IS LAIK 30 SECONDS ZERG RUSHZES KEKEKEKKEKEKEK!

Now hold there little fella! The complexity of my love is not satisfied by the shier appeal of space marines or even alien civilizations. I concur that Science Fiction is awesome, have a look at my entire trivia on videogames and you shall find reasoning.



No today , I am here to talk about the best real-time startegy game on this side of Company of Heroes. In my perpetual tradition of clearing things up here's a list of why Men of War performs excellence in it's kind;

- No Ressources (Because they are for pussies)
- Limited ammo and gear (Because superior firepower is for pussies)
- Bad Voice Acting (Because David Hayter's acting is for pussies)
- Russian Made (Because in Soviet Russia pussies wear blue hats............. .. . -_-)
- Direct Control Mechanics (Because automation is for pussies unlike Riker who fuckin' docked the Saucer Section manually!)
- Tiger tanks get raped by Maltildas (Because THIS GAME DOESN'T FUCK AROUND!)
- Destructable environment (Because the French do not need housing)

I have rarely in my life played an entire serie of games capable of implenmenting standards RTS basics while on the other hand giving the player the freedom to do whatever he wants and destroy what ever he wishes on the battlefield. (We all know that freedom is purely american, Althought I am a french-speaking canuck) The perfect blend of many genres are what make Men of War such an enjoyable but somehow underappreciated title, not to mention the threshold installment in the franchise being one of my highly revered games.



Strangely enough the franchise has been kept under your furry noses and commercialized like an utter trainwreck jumping from three publishers in less than five years. Customers should be advised that this outstanding trilogy is available off the capitalist digital distributor leviathan that is Steam for reasonable pricings.



Men of War is the best russian made videogame since Tetris and even if your blockie attitude makes you vacillate, tear down that wall mister Destructoid and give it a warm American tackle. The only thing that can happen to you is full communist endoctrinement during the playthrough.

Long live Premier Zangief and his maszuuuuulz and his chest hair.


You are standing in front of Brinstar Elevator chamber
But you forgot to bring your cheap vodka and funky Anubis Camo.

Shall you redeem yourself to capitalism until next time?