In what I’m sure will be only one of many, many horrible Valentine’s Day related posts I offer to you a quick list of video game characters that have made my fire flower moist with the dew of gender confusion.
These are listed in no particular arrangement other than the order in which these deviants drifted into my thoughts as I stared listlessly out the window towards some unforeseen horizon where Zangief frolics and spins just for me.. *Le Sigh*



Raiden
This Bishonen-bitch made his unforgettable debut in MGS2:Sons of Liberty gripping his gonads and cart wheeling his way into my dreams. There’s just something about the way he uses his sword..


Alucard
This half-vamp vixen has it all; style, sex appeal, a brooding, dark attitude to match his equally dramatic past and hair that would make Fabio weep with joy if his sight wasn’t blinded with blood and duck feathers. Seriously what are the chances of hitting a fucking bird while riding a rollercoaster?
Women want to be him and men want to rip off that exquisitely tailored jacked and supple leather pants.


Nights
Overly expressive eyes with that come hither grin all tucked under that tasty, purple jester’s cap. Seriously, who hasn’t thought of jumping behind Nights and grabbing a hold of those things like they were reins and riding this androgynous stallion off into sunset?
More like NiGHTS into WET-Dreams, ‘mirite?


Flea
Okay this one is a bit obvious but aside from the oddities like Buck Angel, how many other people were able to make the post op look so confusingly good?


Poison
Junk tucked in the Trunk, need I say more? Poison is curvy queen that’s got nice lady lumps in almost all the right places..


Quina Quen
Who else spent those long hours leveling up wondering if you’d ever see if there was a muffin to go with that hat? Seriously with a tongue that makes Gene Simmons feel inadequate it’s hard to imagine this…thing dateless on a Saturday night.


Bridget
Yup, I had to include everybody’s favorite underage jailbait. I like to think that in a nightclub somewhere on the streets of rage, amidst flashing lights and the repetitive pounding of bass the tranny-torch was passed on to this saucy little nun.