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11:30 PM on 05.18.2010

Okay, so I went to the juice store about an hour ago and they were out of “Lots Of Pulp” Tropicana Orange Juice, so I had to get “Some Pulp” orange juice instead. I mean, even the “Lots of Pulp” doesn’t really have enough pulp in it, but it’s as good as I’m going to get. And I know that, so I was expecting “Some Pulp” to definitely not have enough pulp for me. But I just drank a glass, and all I have to say is WHAT THE CRAP IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? You guys actually drink this junk? This stuff is little more than dirty water. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t have the right to call itself a beverage! Beverages are supposed to be delicious and refreshing - but drinking this sewage is ACTIVELY STRESSING ME OUT. Now I understand how Europeans feel when they try drinking American beer.

You know, I think what I really want is just to eat an actual orange without the inconvenience of having to peel it and chew it and watch out for the seeds. Why can’t I just pour a whole orange out into a glass and drink it? It doesn’t seem all that difficult. Surely the technology for this must exist somewhere.

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