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About Me
The world's a pretty nice place, really. It's got sunshine and it's got rivers and it's got clouds. Rather nice.
The world also has Ebola and Dengue Fever and Malaria. Think about that for a while.

But the world also has video games - which are nice. Unless you've got Ebola. Then video games are of no use to you. You've got Ebola, you see. For those without Ebola (raise your hands), video games can help you forget that there ARE people with Ebola. So that's good.

So the world's good - if you live in a developed nation and have money. Otherwise it's pretty bad. Someone I once knew (or maybe I didn't know them at all), had a saying - "Life is like a sack of potatoes - you just keep getting beaten with it until you die". So that's unpleasant. Being beaten. With a Sack of Potatoes. Not a popular sport I gather.

Thankfully, I've never been beaten with a sack of potatoes. If you're reading this, you probably haven't been either. Is that a good thing? For you or the potatoes?

Do I think about Potatoes a lot? No. I wouldn't say I do. Do you? You probably don't. Unless you're an Irish man. In that case, you probably think about potatoes a lot. In fact, too much. Please hold on while I make a few calls

RING RING RING *CLICK* "Hello?"

"Hello, my name is sebastian buckminster-fuller cartwright Korolev, the Senior. I have an Irishman here, who apparently thinks about potatoes. All the time. In fact, too much of the time. I fear he might pose a threat to public sanitation. Especially if he gets a hold of some potatoes. Do see what you can do"

"What the hell are you -" *CLICK*

Ah there we are. No need to worry now. No potatoes where you're going. So please, do sit down and play some video-games. It'll take your mind off Ebola.

And do mind the Potatoes.
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Modern Warfare 2: Ridiculous plot extreme mode alpha action tango bravo mike!!!!
Korolev | 5:40 PM on 11.19.2009 4 comments


An obvious spoiler warning for Modern Warfare 2

If you’ve read my review for MW2, you’d know that, even for the PC version, the game is fun and worth your money.
You’ll also know that I do not think much of the plot. Here is why the Plot for MW2 is stupid beyond redemption.

1) Private Allen turned CIA superstar. Become a deep under-cover operative in 5 easy steps! Anyone can do it! Learn Russian perfectly overnight! Even the accent! Yes it’s entirely plausible and possible!
Okay, your plan is to pluck the most lethal field soldier you can find, a soldier with no previous undercover experience, knowledge of the Russian language, special operations experience or cultural experience, then give him a bad Russian name (something ending in Bog or Ov or Din predictably) and then viola! Instant deep cover operative? How the hell did Shepard even get clearance from the CIA to do that, and Private Allen must have been about as intelligent as a pinecone to agree to such a stupid plan, I mean what did he say - “all I have to do is say my name is Alexei and then I’ve successfully infiltrated the most secretive terrorist unit in all of Russia!? Whoda thunk it? Dur hur hur hur!” I know that in the context of the story, Shepard purposefully sent Allen to be betrayed, and informed Makarov as well, but come on, the set up is so STUPID that no one would have let Shepard do it, and as if the Russian Intelligence services (who don’t like the US in the story line) wouldn’t have possibly picked up on the fact that there’s an American man who speaks bad Russian pretending to be a terrorist landing on their doorstep.

2) How could Russia have known Allen was an American?
Makarov and Shepard’s plan was for Russia to find a dead American body at the sight of a Terrorist Attack and thus use it as justification for an invasion (OOOH I see what you did there infinity ward, that’s very clever political commentary on current US foreign policy, oh you’re such a clever boy IW, here have a sticker for effort). But how the hell did they know he was an American? Where did they get the idea that he was working for the US government? And as if they would jump straight away for the war option.

And further more.....

[My brother walks in]

Brother: Hey I heard you were complaining about MW2’s storyline

Me: Yep. It’s totally stupid isn’t it?

Brother: Well yeah. It’s a video game. And besides you liked Metal Gear Solid 4’s plot, right?

Me: Yeah....

Brother: {Stares pointedly at me]

Me: [Hangs head in shame]. I’ll shut up now.....

And so he did. But not for long! Within minutes he was back on the forums railing on about video game plots, feeling smug using his mighty intellect for arguing against a video game story that....

Oh. Okay. There's no way I can really get angry over video game plots and still have a shred of dignity left is there?

Is..... there?



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3 comments | showing # 1 to 3
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Tarvu's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/19/2009 18:15
Tarvu
No
MrChewie's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/19/2009 18:59
MrChewie
<//3
puppy's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/20/2009 03:24
puppy
hehe. you liked Metal Gear's story. hehe.
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