We're getting older. One day, before you know it, you'll be walking by O'Douls pub on Granville street, and see kids with their Fallout Boy haircuts and, for some reason, see that half of them are dressed like zombies, and you'll say to yourself: "I am so not a bright-eyed youth any more."

And that's okay. We all grow older. There's good things about it, too. For instance: I'm almost done paying off my 2004 Mustang GT, which most of us couldn't have afforded as a teenager. (Except for you rich jerks with nice parents.) I have an apartment with no parents around. I can afford to buy more than one video game system at a time.

There's one thing that's been on my mind recently, as I age: am I getting better or worse at video games?

Better

Evidence: Deus Ex for the PC.


Use your stealth powers... in the face!

I received Deus Ex as a Christmas present in the year 2000, at the tender age of 20. I installed it on my then-pretty-good Athlon Thunderbird PC with a half-decent Matrox card. Unfortunately, it didn't run great at the time. While I loved the ideas behind the game, I remember that it was a constant source of frustration. The game was pushing you towards being stealthy and non-lethal, but at the same time, was pretty stingy with its ammunition, especially non-lethal stuff like tranquilizer darts and stun prods. The very first mission, in the ruins of the Statue of Liberty, I remember taking me hours upon hours. I couldn't do it without getting caught and killing dozens. I did keep on playing it until I eventually got very stuck, without ammo, and hemmed in by the pretty good AI. Then when I wiped my system and reinstalled everything with a better video card, and couldn't reinstall Deus Ex, the disk had reading errors.

Deus Ex lay on my computer desk for the next seven years, until a few weeks ago, whereupon I had learned of the freezing trick for getting a scratched CD to work. I tried it with a copy of Blue Stinger, and hey, it works. I put it in the freezer overnight, let it thaw out in the fridge for an hour, and the disk worked. Stressing and contracting the surface plastic expands the scratches, so they obscure the disk less, or something. Anyway. I installed Deux Ex on my much faster PC, and tried it again. The Statue of Liberty? No problem. Playing it on the "realistic" difficulty level, too. Getting stealthily by all those guards wasn't a big deal at all. I'm more methodical. I save often, check nooks and crannies for any datapads left around, and then hotwire the security systems to make them do the work for me. Maybe it's that I've got more experience with the stealth genre now. Or just more experience with video games in general. I also am not so impulsive, and I've realized that game designers, especially in these open-ended PC worlds, almost always give you a back-door option that is intrinsically easier. BioShock taught me the joys of letter machines and others do the work for you. The game is well-designed in letting you be as sneaky as you want, something I just didn't get at 20.

That being said, I am at a pretty hard point in the game - tracking down the Ambrosia shipment means going into a room with half a dozen soldiers, not easy to do if your goal is to not kill anyone. Gas grenades ahoy, I think!

Evidence: SpellCaster for the Sega Master System.


1989: Freaky hard. 2007: Pffft. No problem.

This Castlevania-crossed-with-Shadowgate action / adventure hybrid stumped me as a kid. My brother purchased it in 1989, as it was billed as being a follow-up to Phantasy Star in Electronic Gaming Monthly or Video Games and Computer Entertainment. It wasn't, but it was still good. But I couldn't play it. I was terrible at it. The action sequences were just too hard for me. Now, by that time I was almost 10. My running and jumping skills were fine, but decoding the boss battles was a little more than I could handle.

Cut to 2007, and I'm on vacation back at my parents house in Ottawa. I hook up the old Sega Master System, and give SpellCaster a try. Admittedly, I'm using the six-button Genesis asciipad and not one of those shitty Sega Master System controllers, but this game is easier. Much easier. Yeah, I have GameFAQs to lean on for the slightly incomprehensible adventuring portions, but the boss-battles were not the challenges they once were. What has changed? I've learned to look into all the magic spells available. There are plenty there that do lots of damage, or heal you completely. Save your magic for the boss, use your strong attack magic, and you can pretty much just sit there and destroy him. I didn't consider that possibility as a kid. Now they're toast. Also, it gave you a flying spell you could use to get past the worst of the platforming sections, which, given my abhorrence for precision jumping, came in useful.

Worse

Evidence: Mega Man 1/2 for the Nintendo Entertainment System.


Pretty much what watching me play Mega Man looks like.

I used to be not bad at these games, not bad at all. I remember renting Mega Man 2 with my friend Lee for his Nintendo, and destroying it pretty quickly with him. And that was without even knowing the best combinations of weapons to use with what boss - he didn't have a Nintendo Power subscription.

Now, going back and playing the Mega Man games on the XBox collection, I'm finding myself really, really bad at these action / platforming sections. I fall all the time. Seriously, all the fucking time. While the bosses are much easier than they use to be, getting there takes me hours. I have vivid memories of getting through the Elec Man and Fire Man stages fast, but now... it's just brutal.

Evidence: Wonder Boy in Monster Land for the Sega Master System.


About as far as I can get in this game before throwing controller down in disgust.

This side-scrolling Zelda II style game was great for the time, with one caveat: you couldn't save your game. Ever. Imagine a six hour quest, with difficult bosses, upgraded weapons, etcetera, where you can't save. It's nuts. I believe that my brother bought this with his own money, or received it as a birthday present in 1987 or 1988.

But I got pretty close to beating it. My brother Nick (11 or 12) beat it. I used to not mind the idea that I would be sent back tot he beginning of the game if I died (though you could get extra lives).

I try playing it now, and I can't make it past the second boss. Maybe it's a lack of desire. Maybe I'm just not as good as I used to be. Maybe I'm so out of the rhythms required to be good at these games. I know that I'm absolute shit at most platformers now, but it was a skill that I once had. Is it because I'm getting old?

(Note: My dad finished Super Monster World. He was 40. So there you go.)

Sorry for not writing for a while, my core writing time has been taken up by Professor Layton and that freaking Curious Village. Honestly, though, love the game... definitely the best DS game I've played. I don't get why people hate the music, though. I guess I have a soft spot for accordians.