It's been quite the month bumming around the northern wilds, which resides east of the west boondocks. Anyone who lives ANYWHERE in America knows that we've been getting a slightly absurd amount of snow/ice/cold/wind. As a result, most people have become reclusive, choosing to hide from the inclement weather in the safety of our homes.

An impromptu trip to NY and LA notwithstanding, me and my friends fall have fallen into the same cycle of work, game, sleep, rinse, repeat. Who needs the sun anyway?

Which brings me to the point. I'm going to do a quick revival of the (long) forgotten Bargain Bin Laden, the D-toid equivalent of G4's illustrious "Games for Cheap Bastards."

DISCLAIMER!
I own a PS3. Guess which system I'm going to do this for? Get over it.

Final Fantasy XIII


My name's Lighting, and like all FF protagonists, I'm emo. Please, there are hundreds of emos out there, and they're just looking for a home.

It's not even Squeenix's most recent foray into the gaming world, but it could be considered the most recent true iteration of the franchise. I loves me some MMO action, but the Final Fantasy flavored offerings seem a little too bland, and a lot too sadistic for my tastes. A new copy of 13 is still an absurd 40 bucks, but Amazon offers it for 30, and various online and brick and mortar retailers have it for under 20 dollars. It seemed like it was worth picking up.

If if you don't know at this point, this game is linear. Not kind of linear, it's a line. FFXII does eventually open up to almost overwhelming proportions. However, during the introduction of the convoluted storyline, and the handholding through the easy-to-understand-yet-needlessly-ambiguously-named Paradigm system and Crystarium Grid, you will be walking down a hallway. This hallway has no doors, no bathroom, but a really pretty view.

That being said, the sniggles and annoyances of the previous games have been all but erased. They were on their way out in FFXII, but the thirteenth installment grinds the boot on their neck. No random battles, auto-heal/status cure after every battle, and the elimination of MP altogether have streamlined the process of progressing immensely. In the other direction, sometimes the game feels like a button masher due to it's simplicity. With very little exception, battles all tend to progress the same way, assuming you maintain a well crafted set of Paradigms, but the occasional boss battle does spice things up.

The story is decent, if a bit ridiculous, and if you can ignore the overuse of apostrophes and horrible English voice actors, it's actually pretty amusing. I can see why this game was both critically panned and praised, but at a $20 price point, it's hard to ignore the siren call of another Final (right...) Fantasy.

Besides, who wants to get left out on the gripping story of Fabulous Supernova Crystally Fantasy HD Turbo Longname?


Fallout 3



It's like shopping for death. I'll take the ribs, you can't beat that price.
You can find this game for $20.

Go buy it.

Now.

The release of New Vegas has finally let the price of this game start to fall. I can understand how it never had the standard depreciation, because this finely crafted masterpiece probably was a beast to develop. But it's finally cheap, and therefore affordable. If you have any tolerance for shooters, you need to get this game. And even if you don't, the VATS system is an incredible crutch for even the most ceiling-staringest, stuck in cornery-est of gamers.

The vault is open, there's a big world out there. Go blow it up.

Tekken 6



When I was your age, I had to walk uphill in the snow both ways. Also my father tossed me into boiling hot magma.

The King of Iron Fist Tournament has a long history of deceit, intrigue, and romance.

Ignore it.

Apparently nobody can die in this franchise because everybody, with few notable exceptions, has come back to join the fray. Thrown into a volcano? No biggie. Killed and buried? Whatevs. Getting eaten and possessed by a crazy South American Ogre got you down? FUCK NO! The roster in this game is huge, and unlike SFIV, people related by blood and storyline are similar, yet distinct enough to warrant another character. But the story doesn't make a lick of sense, and the fact that Bryan is legit a zombie soldier pretty much negates any dramatic deaths that occur.

With the announcement of SFxTekken, it's opposite, and Tekken Tag 2 (Squeeeeeeeee!) this already cheap game has had its price pushed through the floor. I found a new copy in a Walmart for a paltry 18 dollars, and I can only imagine used copies are much cheaper.

This is probably the buggiest of games I'm going to suggest, but that's simply because online is annoying at times, and the load times are grating at best. But don't fret, a simple install and shutting off/turning on motion blur remedies most of my issues with the game. Even at what seems to be a low resolution, the rock solid framerate has stolen my heart.

This game has depth. A lot of it. Easy to learn, but hard to master, Tekken is what 3d fighting games should strive to be (coughcoughFUCKYOUVIRTUAFIGHERcough). The online is a bit wonky at times, but is much improved from Tekken 5 DR, and Soul Calibur 5 thanks to some hefty patches and updates. Feel free to ignore the story mode, because you only get costumes, and 3d brawling is annoying with the Tekken engine.

But if you have any friends at all, Tekken is an excellent game for giving that cathartic beating.

(Also, look for the $30 PS3 SFIV SE Fightstick. It makes fighting games so much better, though you might have to fix the stick to prevent it from committing suicide. Google Fightstick and Loose Washer to learn how. You can also swap out everything for Sanwa parts, and it's really easy.)


Uncharted: Drakes Fortune



Seriously? I built that to hold all the good reviews I got. How did you not know that?

This game is a benchmark for exclusives, PS3 games, technical achievement, and storytelling.

Like it's predecessor Tomb Raider, this game will take to you various exotic locales, pit you against unreasonable odds, and force you to make split second survival decisions. The difference is there are less tits. But that's ok, because they're much higher polygon count, and therefore much more amazing.

Getting back on topic, this game was loved by everyone who played it. EVERYONE. I could go into detail about how the storyline is engrossing, or the fact that the main character isn't a single minded automaton of a space marine, but you probably knew that, as anyone who played this game couldn't shut the fuck up about it.

Uncharted costs less than $20 dollars online, and Uncharted 2 is about $30. So for the price of one shitty Wii game, you can have two incredible PS3 games. Not to mention Uncharted 3 is in the pipeline.


Borderlands: GOTY



Hows about you buy my game, instead of waving your disgusting meat flaps?

I paid full price for Borderlands. I bought one DLC for like ten bucks. For seventy dollars, I feel like my money was well spent. I've level capped, or come close with five characters, and gotten hours and hours of incredibly satisfying playtime out of it. This game converted more than one of my friends to shooters/rpgs/video games in general, and is fun to boot.

So when they released all of the DLC's, and the game on one disc, for 40 dollars, my jaw hit the floor.

You'll need to buy your own copy, because you only get to use the DLC codes once (I'm pretty sure), but you are literally getting $100 worth of entertainment for $40. You are getting days of fun. WEEKS even.

If you enjoy shooters at all, on any platform, you have to buy this game. No, it's not an option. You must buy this game.

The storyline is mediocre at best, but literally nothing beats the screams of midgets as you blast them with a shotgun, or the confused cries of "WHY AM I ON FIRE?!" from the larger, dumber foes. The balls out joy of the BOOMHEADSHOT combined with the stream of numbers tallying your damage from MMO's makes this game more satisfying that almost anything I've played in recent years.

At $40, it's a steal.

Get your loot on.