Hello, avid(ish) readers! It is I, the expert on all things vague, unimportant, and based on opinion.

That's right bitches, Kinjir0's making his triumphant motherfucking return.

Or so I thought...

So for all/none of you that remember, I blogged here. Once once or twice. Awhile back...

But unfortunately for me, my little summer vacation a la casa de Orso had to eventually end, as both employment and education beckoned from the great white north (formerly known as New Hampshire). So what the fuck have I been doing?

I became the salt of the motherfucking earth. I worked on an organic farm, harvesting and distributing food to the yuppie farmshares that would bitch incessantly about nothing and then take other people's food. Really, it was pretty fun, and I got a sexy tan. It was also convenient because I got a share of vegetables once a week, helping lessen the financial strain.


Like this, but less Asian. But only by half. And I definitely got paid more

In the mean time, I was moving out of my parent's house, and into my new apartment. That meant transitioning my bedding, clothing, posters, games, electronics, and other shit from the attic to my second floor apartment. Surprisingly enough, it went relatively quickly, and I rather enjoyed the experience. This is mostly because my apartment is more awesome than words can convey.


Like this. But that definitely isn't my furniture, though I am quite partial to the floral bedspread...

"But wait!" thinks the average reader, "What does this have to do with games?"

Hold your motherfucking horses and take another adderall. I'm getting there Mr. Antsy pants.

The farm job lasted three and a half weeks, and thus began school. I lived pretty barebones during that working period, because I was working 50+ hour weeks, and simply crashed when I got home from work everyday. Unfortunately, every college student is essentially required to have access to the internet at all times, and the waiting list to have Time Warner drop off the modem I could buy for thirty dollars and install myself was just over two weeks.

If you remember (you don't), I've only had access to a Wii since mid May. My PS3 was left in the 603, so I couldn't wait to get online with it. The problem was that two week wait. After a month of work, and a two week wait, I couldn't wait to partake in some online gaming.

There was more feverishly anticipatory lip biting than that badly produced porn on youporn/tubegalore/tube8/redtube/PORN.

The day finally arrives. Internet day. I wake up at 6 AM to ensure that I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed when the worker arrives. He finally shows up, and bumbles around my apartment for awhile, going through three refurbished (and subsequently useless) modems. Eventually, it's up and running.

There was a happy dance at some point.

After a whole day of being distracted in class, I finally get home, and get down to the mother fucking gaming.

I'm so ready. Some boom headshots, rides that I'm going to be taken on, and hardcore lane defense seem inevitable. And then this happens.


WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

PS3 firmware- Update Required

Vista Updates- Update Required

Modern Warfare 2- Update Required

Battlefield 1943- Update Required

League of Legends- Update Required

Counterstrike Source- Update Required

Team Fortress 2- Update Required

Me- GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! RAAAAAAAAGEE

Everywhere I turn, my lack of internet connectivity from before has artificially extended itself. And it's never a small update, oh no. LOL- 48 updates, two hours required. PS3 update, 35 minutes. Windows Vista- 30 updates.



GOD DAMMIT MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SPAWNED OF BITCHES AND DOUCHEBAG FURRIES I COULD KILL YOU WITH A SPORK AND A PACIFIER IF YOU WEREN'T ELECRONICS AND SERVERS...

And I'm still waiting.

and waiting.

and waiting....


Oh mystical and benevolent flying spaghetti monster, will you ever provide deliverance from this hell, this internet gaming limbo which seems to have consumed my very soul...

TLDR: The internet is good for you. Make sure you get your daily dose, or you WILL regret it.

Oh wait, LOL is finally done. Fuck this noise, I'm out.

I love you guys actually.


It's gweat to be back Amewica!