So I own a lot of games. It's something i realized the other day. I have cabinets and boxes full of them. Pretty much every game I've liked, I've kept (except for Brave Fencer Musashi, oh how I regret that trade in.) The thing is, I have this nasty habit of loaning them out. Indefinitely.

I used to own 42 Sega Genesis cartridges, 4 controllers, and two AV cables. Now I own half of all of those. All my Xbox controllers, DDR pads, and games were loaned out and given away. I'm never going to get back a copy of PC Halo, two PS2 controllers with memory card, or my copy of Metal Gear Solid: the Twin Snakes. But I don't care. I allowed people who were unable to play video games. And that made them happy, which subsequently makes me happy.

Hardly a departure from the norm, titles on the PSN, and originally Steam were shared between all of my friends. My brother knows the logins for my PSN, so he downloaded a few games onto other people's PS3s. Yes, he used one of my six installs, but how can I feel bad about sharing games like Castlevania:SOTN, Street Fighter 2, MVC2, Megaman 9, and Battlefield 1943? These are games I love, and sharing them with other people gives me all sorts of warm fuzzies. It also helps when we get random texts from people saying "oh my god, this game you downloaded is incredible!"

Yes, yes it is.

Steam plays a bit friendlier, letting you simply download without using a license. Between me and three of my friends, there are like 5 accounts we collectively share, depending on what kind of gaming mood we're in. We all have CS 1.6, because that's what made us love steam, but each of us has different games. I have Team Fortress 2, Left 4 Dead, Portal, and Audiosurf. One friend has all of the Half Lifes, CS Source, and some of the Hitman games. Another has Oblivion, Day of Defeat, and CoD. We kinda just rotate, using the friends list to keep track of who's using what account. Its odd, but it works. I loan out my account to non-gamers all the time, simply so they can experience Portal, Audiosurf, and Geometry wars. The combination of those three games has converted many a casual player into a (more) hardcore one.

It's awesome. Feels good man. I steer people towards a game I think they'd like once or twice a week, providing either the game itself, or access to it, be it digitally or on my couch.

But for the first time in awhile, if ever, someone just gifted me mad games.

Me and my roommate were hanging out, had some friends over, when this guy Chris shows up. Chris is nice enough, but him and the roomie had a falling out (read: awkward breakup) so he hasn't been around much. But we talk about video games. A lot. It's one of the staples of our conversations.

So he mentions a game on the PSN. I'm like woo! Go games! He decides to get it, so we can play later. I think it was like Dragon's Lair or something. During the time it took him to log in, apparently Chris decided he was feeling generous.

And he proceeded to download 16 games onto my playstation.



You see, my game budget is tapped. Not like kind of tapped, completely empty. Ain't no mana in that pool. I hadn't expected to be able to afford another game for a month or two, and was prepared to go a whole year. Again. But thanks to Chris, I get to play games I never even would have considered, much less actually gotten.

And then the man taught me the hand hug.


IT'S ADORABLE. YOU MUST DO IT TO FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW AWESOME IT IS.

There may have been drugs involved, but you, sir, made my night. It's the first time in years I've gotten a game as a gift, and have such an array of options is almost overwhelming.

So this is me, hiding behind my internet (semi)anonymity sending a big shout out to my friend Chris.

This came during a rough period in my life, and it couldn't be more appreciated.

Thank you.

Over the last week or so, I've been teaching a couple friends how to play fighting games. This only happened because I recently procured a fightstick, and so now there are two available on the regular at my house. Explaining the concept of the quarter circle, half circle, forward-down-downforward, and charging has been quite the task. Apparently, the only way to get non-hardcore gamers into fighting games is to give them eight shiny buttons, and a snappy joystick. I've tried to ages and ages to get my non-hardcore friends to jump in and play games with me, but for some reason the stick was the turning point.

However, during the course of the training it became increasingly obvious that the standard tropes of the hardcore gaming niche are debilitating hurdles for any "casual" player to surmount. It begs the question, what actually defines a "hardcore gamer?" Is it even possible to switch from one party to the other? And why do so many people, including those who already play a fair amount of casual games, have such difficulty crossing the threshold?

According to my (now dated) gaming design classes, the hardcore gamer (henceforth referred to as core) is an 18 to 25 year old male, who plays upwards of fifteen to twenty hours a week. Keep in mind, this is obviously a blatant generalization, as there are women, children, and adults who fit the loose description of "playtime of more than X hours." It was simply pointed out as one demographic that stands opposite of the casual gamer. Core gamers have a higher attach rate, more playing time per game, and a higher tolerance for difficulty. They also tend to have a smaller tolerance for bugs or imbalanced game play. This definition is kind of in transition, as the average age of the Core gaming market has increased from around 22, to upwards of 25, meaning that core gamers remain core gamers well into adulthood.

The fact remains, that even as an adult, the casual observer is less than capable at even distinguishing what is going on in the game, much less how to actively play. The complexity of games has made it so anyone even willing to try must subjugate themselves to weeks, or even months of constant losing.

It never really occurred to me how deeply I fit into the Core demographic until I was called on to teach my friends to play. Upon picking up the stick, my friends jiggled them around a little bit, had fun poking the buttons, and proceed to start to play. This is roughly how it went. For the record, we were playing SSFIV.



Me- Ok, go ahead and pick a character. I'd recommend Ryu, and his first ultra (Metsu Hadouken).

Friend- How do I pick? Nothings happening.

Me- You have to hit start first.

Friend- Oh, ok. Where's that guy?

M- Top left.

F- Why aren't there any names?

M- There are, you just have to highlight them first.

F- That confusing, how do you know who's who?

M- I just do, some of these characters have been around for like two decades, so picking out the new ones is easy.

F- Ok, whats this?

M- Costume, just hit X.

F- What's this?

M- Thats your ultra, you should pick the first one. It's a big fireball.

F- Is that japanese? How do you know which is which?

M- Just ask if you don't know, I'll explain it. Just hit X.

F- What's this?

M- Handicap, just hit X.


Notice how many questions I've had to answer, before you we even start playing.

At this point, we reach the stage select, and the game loads. The map pops up, and then we start. The basics of movement, blocking, and attacks are quickly explained, but execution is what's holding my friends back. This is fine, it's completely what I expected. I've done my best to explain which move does what, and when you want to use it. I tried doing this in lieu of having them use the move list, because it's incredibly overwhelming to try and remember what does what with the stupid little diagrams. There are, what, at least four pages for each character? Even things as simple as distinguishing between ultra one and two took an explanation. They eventually learned what they meant so I wouldn't have to do a rundown at the beginning of every match, but how is someone supposed to learn the moves if the diagrams aren't intuitive?

I had to preface the entire experience with a quick explanation of the three character types, being command, charge and grapple. This was met with a basic understanding, but ultimately I had to drop it for the sake of their attention span.

One of the first things they asked about was ultra combos. This entailed explaining the bars.



There are three of them. Each has its own specific set of rules. *Sigh* But it eventually became clear enough, and we moved on to the act of initiating an ultra.

It's funny how easy double qcf is to me, but how insanely difficult it is for a casual gamer. You can't hit in the wrong direction (with some tolerance), you have to do it fast enough, you have to hit the buttons at the right time, etc. If they mess up the buttons, it does nothing, the wrong move or an EX move, wasting meter. If you mess up the stick, it does nothing, or the wrong move. If you time either wrong, you potentially whiff. Even if they pulled it off, it must have been frustrating having it blocked, or dodged. There was a certain amount of anger when then got poked out of them as well. Even the ultra bar is an odd concept, because it seemingly rewards you for taking damage.

How did a game about beating people up get so incredibly complicated?

And so we soldiered on, and played like that for a couple days, with each person sticking with one or two characters, and I would cycle through random so they could see each person, learn how they move, yadda yadda yadda. I sandbagged pretty hard, knowing from experience that getting absolutely beat on isn't conducive to any sort of learning environment. They steadily improved, getting more and more consistent with each passing day. It was at that point that I decided to introduce more key concepts.

First was focus attacks. Two buttons, easy enough, right? Hold them down, charge it up, let it fly. I figured it would be pretty easy to explain, but as always, hard to master. The thing is, it's not that easy for anyone who doesn't play fighting games regularly.

For one, getting them to understand the focus armor was difficult at best. Being able to eat a hit sounds fun, until you realize it doesn't come back if you get hit again. You can't move, making it strategically difficult, but explaining dashing out of it was simply too much. If they mash focus during specials, it does a focus cancel, draining their super meter while seemingly doing nothing. Every time a logical sniggle arose, I was forced to do my best to explain it, without speaking in jargon or being condescending.

And then there are the armor breaks.

Keep in mind that this if for a simple two button command.

Topics as of yet unexplained include frame canceling, super and ultra canceling, feints, counters, wake up and stand up attacks, the magic series, 360 and 720 buffering, holding attacks by holding buttons, command throws, etc. etc. etc. etc. ETC. ETC. ETC.


WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!? I can't possible explain all this! I can barely understand when this shit happens, much less actually integrate it into my game. And now I feel motivated to teach it. What kind of sadistic asshole designed this shit?

My friends have valiantly plodded forward, getting better and better. They'll continue to do so, so long as I'm willing to open my house up to them so they can practice. But it raises the question, if I hadn't taken the time to explain all of this to them like my brother did for me, what would they be doing?

The answer is simple. Someone would buy Super Street Fighter 4, because it was pretty. The players would dick around, occasionally throwing (read:spamming) hadouken, and perhaps if enough flailing was going on, they'd get to see a super every couple of rounds. There isn't a good tutorial, there isn't a dictionary, and there is hardly a welcoming community around to help. Not saying people aren't friendly, but without arcades, the only experience playing actual people would be online, and it can only be assumed that everyone online is a soulless asshat (myself included.) You don't go online to give pointers to the scrubs you fight, you mercilessly destroy them.

And so, the casual player would get bored, stop playing, and an incredibly fun and deep game would go unplayed, becoming a 60 dollar beer coaster.

But moving on.

For example, this is the Tekken 5 DR character select screen.



Notice the lack of any names whatsoever. The only name you can see isn't even a character name.

And lets check out the command list. I'll show you the one for Devil Jin (not regular Jin, mind you), who's one of my favorite characters.

http://www.tekkenzaibatsu.com/tekken5dr/movelist.php?id=deviljin

Yeah, click that.

And then tell me, if you don't play Tekken, if you can tell what the fuck is going on.

Because I bet you can't.

And this isn't an isolated incident in fighting games. Have you ever watched someone play COD:MW or MW2? The game is confusing enough, with the quick deaths, frantic pace, flash bangs, killstreaks, etc.

But then there are the menus.

Have you ever watched a true gamer creating his classes in between rounds? Even the most experience player has trouble following the actions of other people in the menus. That shit is out of control. Besides the complexity of the system in general, the need to constantly update your classes creates this artificial wall, which you CANNOT surmount without the technical ability to navigate menus. Granted it's why you have multiple classes, but passing while playing with casual players online or even split screen means having to struggle with the menu in the minute you have in the lobby. It's yet another way that the casual gamer is discouraged from entering into the Core audience.

Consider any game, since we here are mostly core gamers. Any one you play a lot. It can safely be assumed that you would have to explain the finer points of that game to any friends that aren't as hardcore as yourself. Smash brothers seems to have successfully bridged that gap, but with the addition of Brawl, Nintendo firmly declared their devotion to the casual market with the addition of "balancing" like the incredibly frustrating tripping.

Why is it that core gamers are relegated to a niche market? Games have become insanely popular, but without a middle ground, there cannot be a true general understanding of games among those not technologically inclined. Is it simply too difficult to create a game that has depth, without culling the casual gamers at the difficulty wall? Because it certainly isn't a curve.

I'm done ranting for now, I might add some later, but can anyone explain this to me?

It's been quite the month bumming around the northern wilds, which resides east of the west boondocks. Anyone who lives ANYWHERE in America knows that we've been getting a slightly absurd amount of snow/ice/cold/wind. As a result, most people have become reclusive, choosing to hide from the inclement weather in the safety of our homes.

An impromptu trip to NY and LA notwithstanding, me and my friends fall have fallen into the same cycle of work, game, sleep, rinse, repeat. Who needs the sun anyway?

Which brings me to the point. I'm going to do a quick revival of the (long) forgotten Bargain Bin Laden, the D-toid equivalent of G4's illustrious "Games for Cheap Bastards."

DISCLAIMER!
I own a PS3. Guess which system I'm going to do this for? Get over it.

Final Fantasy XIII


My name's Lighting, and like all FF protagonists, I'm emo. Please, there are hundreds of emos out there, and they're just looking for a home.

It's not even Squeenix's most recent foray into the gaming world, but it could be considered the most recent true iteration of the franchise. I loves me some MMO action, but the Final Fantasy flavored offerings seem a little too bland, and a lot too sadistic for my tastes. A new copy of 13 is still an absurd 40 bucks, but Amazon offers it for 30, and various online and brick and mortar retailers have it for under 20 dollars. It seemed like it was worth picking up.

If if you don't know at this point, this game is linear. Not kind of linear, it's a line. FFXII does eventually open up to almost overwhelming proportions. However, during the introduction of the convoluted storyline, and the handholding through the easy-to-understand-yet-needlessly-ambiguously-named Paradigm system and Crystarium Grid, you will be walking down a hallway. This hallway has no doors, no bathroom, but a really pretty view.

That being said, the sniggles and annoyances of the previous games have been all but erased. They were on their way out in FFXII, but the thirteenth installment grinds the boot on their neck. No random battles, auto-heal/status cure after every battle, and the elimination of MP altogether have streamlined the process of progressing immensely. In the other direction, sometimes the game feels like a button masher due to it's simplicity. With very little exception, battles all tend to progress the same way, assuming you maintain a well crafted set of Paradigms, but the occasional boss battle does spice things up.

The story is decent, if a bit ridiculous, and if you can ignore the overuse of apostrophes and horrible English voice actors, it's actually pretty amusing. I can see why this game was both critically panned and praised, but at a $20 price point, it's hard to ignore the siren call of another Final (right...) Fantasy.

Besides, who wants to get left out on the gripping story of Fabulous Supernova Crystally Fantasy HD Turbo Longname?


Fallout 3



It's like shopping for death. I'll take the ribs, you can't beat that price.
You can find this game for $20.

Go buy it.

Now.

The release of New Vegas has finally let the price of this game start to fall. I can understand how it never had the standard depreciation, because this finely crafted masterpiece probably was a beast to develop. But it's finally cheap, and therefore affordable. If you have any tolerance for shooters, you need to get this game. And even if you don't, the VATS system is an incredible crutch for even the most ceiling-staringest, stuck in cornery-est of gamers.

The vault is open, there's a big world out there. Go blow it up.

Tekken 6



When I was your age, I had to walk uphill in the snow both ways. Also my father tossed me into boiling hot magma.

The King of Iron Fist Tournament has a long history of deceit, intrigue, and romance.

Ignore it.

Apparently nobody can die in this franchise because everybody, with few notable exceptions, has come back to join the fray. Thrown into a volcano? No biggie. Killed and buried? Whatevs. Getting eaten and possessed by a crazy South American Ogre got you down? FUCK NO! The roster in this game is huge, and unlike SFIV, people related by blood and storyline are similar, yet distinct enough to warrant another character. But the story doesn't make a lick of sense, and the fact that Bryan is legit a zombie soldier pretty much negates any dramatic deaths that occur.

With the announcement of SFxTekken, it's opposite, and Tekken Tag 2 (Squeeeeeeeee!) this already cheap game has had its price pushed through the floor. I found a new copy in a Walmart for a paltry 18 dollars, and I can only imagine used copies are much cheaper.

This is probably the buggiest of games I'm going to suggest, but that's simply because online is annoying at times, and the load times are grating at best. But don't fret, a simple install and shutting off/turning on motion blur remedies most of my issues with the game. Even at what seems to be a low resolution, the rock solid framerate has stolen my heart.

This game has depth. A lot of it. Easy to learn, but hard to master, Tekken is what 3d fighting games should strive to be (coughcoughFUCKYOUVIRTUAFIGHERcough). The online is a bit wonky at times, but is much improved from Tekken 5 DR, and Soul Calibur 5 thanks to some hefty patches and updates. Feel free to ignore the story mode, because you only get costumes, and 3d brawling is annoying with the Tekken engine.

But if you have any friends at all, Tekken is an excellent game for giving that cathartic beating.

(Also, look for the $30 PS3 SFIV SE Fightstick. It makes fighting games so much better, though you might have to fix the stick to prevent it from committing suicide. Google Fightstick and Loose Washer to learn how. You can also swap out everything for Sanwa parts, and it's really easy.)


Uncharted: Drakes Fortune



Seriously? I built that to hold all the good reviews I got. How did you not know that?

This game is a benchmark for exclusives, PS3 games, technical achievement, and storytelling.

Like it's predecessor Tomb Raider, this game will take to you various exotic locales, pit you against unreasonable odds, and force you to make split second survival decisions. The difference is there are less tits. But that's ok, because they're much higher polygon count, and therefore much more amazing.

Getting back on topic, this game was loved by everyone who played it. EVERYONE. I could go into detail about how the storyline is engrossing, or the fact that the main character isn't a single minded automaton of a space marine, but you probably knew that, as anyone who played this game couldn't shut the fuck up about it.

Uncharted costs less than $20 dollars online, and Uncharted 2 is about $30. So for the price of one shitty Wii game, you can have two incredible PS3 games. Not to mention Uncharted 3 is in the pipeline.


Borderlands: GOTY



Hows about you buy my game, instead of waving your disgusting meat flaps?

I paid full price for Borderlands. I bought one DLC for like ten bucks. For seventy dollars, I feel like my money was well spent. I've level capped, or come close with five characters, and gotten hours and hours of incredibly satisfying playtime out of it. This game converted more than one of my friends to shooters/rpgs/video games in general, and is fun to boot.

So when they released all of the DLC's, and the game on one disc, for 40 dollars, my jaw hit the floor.

You'll need to buy your own copy, because you only get to use the DLC codes once (I'm pretty sure), but you are literally getting $100 worth of entertainment for $40. You are getting days of fun. WEEKS even.

If you enjoy shooters at all, on any platform, you have to buy this game. No, it's not an option. You must buy this game.

The storyline is mediocre at best, but literally nothing beats the screams of midgets as you blast them with a shotgun, or the confused cries of "WHY AM I ON FIRE?!" from the larger, dumber foes. The balls out joy of the BOOMHEADSHOT combined with the stream of numbers tallying your damage from MMO's makes this game more satisfying that almost anything I've played in recent years.

At $40, it's a steal.

Get your loot on.

Contrary to what I said in my last blog, from who knows how long ago, I have not been keeping up with the D-Toid Blogosphere. I miss you guys. Srsly. Unfortunately, my rapidly declining bank balance keeps informing me that I have many more important things to pay for. Electricity, heat, internet, tuition, rent, and the list grows longer every day. Desfortunamente, this means my gaming budget has had to be slashed by a whopping 100%. Yep, you read that correctly folks, I paid very very close to zero dollars on gaming in the last calendar year.


Yeah, it's only 30 degrees in the 'Shire, but it's not even cold yet. Damn you electric heat.

What I have been doing is trying to hold it down for all of the technologically inclined folks up here in East Bumfuck. I recently hosted a Halo Reach LAN party, which is funny since I own neither a 360 nor Halo Reach. For old times sake, several liters of Mountain Dew and far too many five dollar pizzas from Dominoes were consumed in between beers and blunts. All it all, it was pretty fun, and many good laughs were had. Sadly, this is something that hasn't really made a dent in the public perception of the gaming populous here.

What I have been actively working on is regular meetings to play and practice in various fighting games. Lucky for me, my blood brothers and fraternity brothers have been all about this, which has been all sorts of awesome.


You about it?

A pretty HD tv, a pair of six button fight sticks, Tekken 6, SSF4, and MvC2 have been the flavors of choice of late. A six man rotation and the sticks helps me forget the fact that arcades are all but dead on the American east coast. Regardless, it's been a ton of fun, and having a stick makes T.Hawk's 720 throws soooo gooood.


TONY HAWK 720 DOUBLE DOME SLAM!!! (as described by my little brother. he's 16. also awesome.)

Also, I've been working on building a music library so I can potentially start DJ-ing. I'm a Chemical Brothers guys living in a Nickleback world, and it's almost literally painful to deal with the shit they put on the radio. Not even worth turning on. I've been working on getting my college friends into the music I have, and songs that I introduced to campus have been party hits. Also, a friend from Greece has been educating me as to the history of European techno and house music, so the horizons are ever expanding.


A tasty morsel. Up the quality, headphones or a subwoofer a must.

With that, I'm out.

Hello, avid(ish) readers! It is I, the expert on all things vague, unimportant, and based on opinion.

That's right bitches, Kinjir0's making his triumphant motherfucking return.

Or so I thought...

So for all/none of you that remember, I blogged here. Once once or twice. Awhile back...

But unfortunately for me, my little summer vacation a la casa de Orso had to eventually end, as both employment and education beckoned from the great white north (formerly known as New Hampshire). So what the fuck have I been doing?

I became the salt of the motherfucking earth. I worked on an organic farm, harvesting and distributing food to the yuppie farmshares that would bitch incessantly about nothing and then take other people's food. Really, it was pretty fun, and I got a sexy tan. It was also convenient because I got a share of vegetables once a week, helping lessen the financial strain.


Like this, but less Asian. But only by half. And I definitely got paid more

In the mean time, I was moving out of my parent's house, and into my new apartment. That meant transitioning my bedding, clothing, posters, games, electronics, and other shit from the attic to my second floor apartment. Surprisingly enough, it went relatively quickly, and I rather enjoyed the experience. This is mostly because my apartment is more awesome than words can convey.


Like this. But that definitely isn't my furniture, though I am quite partial to the floral bedspread...

"But wait!" thinks the average reader, "What does this have to do with games?"

Hold your motherfucking horses and take another adderall. I'm getting there Mr. Antsy pants.

The farm job lasted three and a half weeks, and thus began school. I lived pretty barebones during that working period, because I was working 50+ hour weeks, and simply crashed when I got home from work everyday. Unfortunately, every college student is essentially required to have access to the internet at all times, and the waiting list to have Time Warner drop off the modem I could buy for thirty dollars and install myself was just over two weeks.

If you remember (you don't), I've only had access to a Wii since mid May. My PS3 was left in the 603, so I couldn't wait to get online with it. The problem was that two week wait. After a month of work, and a two week wait, I couldn't wait to partake in some online gaming.

There was more feverishly anticipatory lip biting than that badly produced porn on youporn/tubegalore/tube8/redtube/PORN.

The day finally arrives. Internet day. I wake up at 6 AM to ensure that I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed when the worker arrives. He finally shows up, and bumbles around my apartment for awhile, going through three refurbished (and subsequently useless) modems. Eventually, it's up and running.

There was a happy dance at some point.

After a whole day of being distracted in class, I finally get home, and get down to the mother fucking gaming.

I'm so ready. Some boom headshots, rides that I'm going to be taken on, and hardcore lane defense seem inevitable. And then this happens.


WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

PS3 firmware- Update Required

Vista Updates- Update Required

Modern Warfare 2- Update Required

Battlefield 1943- Update Required

League of Legends- Update Required

Counterstrike Source- Update Required

Team Fortress 2- Update Required

Me- GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! RAAAAAAAAGEE

Everywhere I turn, my lack of internet connectivity from before has artificially extended itself. And it's never a small update, oh no. LOL- 48 updates, two hours required. PS3 update, 35 minutes. Windows Vista- 30 updates.



GOD DAMMIT MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SPAWNED OF BITCHES AND DOUCHEBAG FURRIES I COULD KILL YOU WITH A SPORK AND A PACIFIER IF YOU WEREN'T ELECRONICS AND SERVERS...

And I'm still waiting.

and waiting.

and waiting....


Oh mystical and benevolent flying spaghetti monster, will you ever provide deliverance from this hell, this internet gaming limbo which seems to have consumed my very soul...

TLDR: The internet is good for you. Make sure you get your daily dose, or you WILL regret it.

Oh wait, LOL is finally done. Fuck this noise, I'm out.

I love you guys actually.


It's gweat to be back Amewica!

Throughout gaming history, there have been numerous game changing franchises. Starting with the experimental Tennis for Two, Atari proved that idea can be taken and polished, and subsequently change the face of gaming forever. The resultant Pong was responsible for the creating the gaming landscape that would experience various waves of change. Blizzards Diablo and Starcraft are still beloved franchises, despite years separating past releases and their sequels in development. The list goes on; Rare's Goldeneye, Bungie's Halo, Square's Final Fantasy VII, Shigeru Miyamoto's beloved Mario and Zelda, Capcom's Street Fighter 2 and Megaman 2, EA's Madden series, and many others too numerous to list exist as crowning achievements in the gaming world.

But for me, there is always going to be a single developer that stands above the rest. There is one that nurtured my love for gaming before I know what gaming really was.


Hail to the King, baby!

That's right, the learning company. Bitches.

Now I know that anyone older than 25 or so has completely tuned out at this point, but hear me out, I know there is at least one game that you've all played and loved.



That's right, the Oregon Motherfuckin' Trail. Now I know that this game was made by MECC in the 70's, and I've played that version on the Apple II with it's glorious monochrome screen. Despite this, my introduction to the series came late in the game, playing it on my fathers behemoth DOS machine when I was still a baby. This was the simulator that existed before simulators were cool. Specifically, this predated the wildly popular Sim City by over a decade. While the latter was out when I was capable of using a computer, I'll always remember the original version we had.

When we got our Gateway PC with Windows 98 in the late 90's, it came with the sequel Oregon trail 3. Many hours were lost to that, but I still concede the fact that the original was by far the most memorable and ground breaking. What other game has spawned as long a running joke as the simple statement "YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY"?



Besides Mole Golf, Think Quick was literally my first entry into the gaming world. Considering I played this before I had a Sega, I was barely three when me and my brother entered the castle in search of the scattered pieces of the magic Knight. I didn't understand why the Dragon needed to be slain initially, but the reasoning that he tore the Knight apart became reason enough for his downfall. I literally had nightmares about the slime worms after our first encounter, but finding the colored flower that put the first one to sleep killed that. There were keys to be found, doors to be opened, and dragons to be killed.



I can truthfully say that I have yet to find all of the pieces of the noble Knight. But I was playing a game that was made for people twice as old as I was, and therefore felt no shame in being unable to complete the trials. But still, something about the pastel glowing enticed me to repeatedly return and try again.

On game that I did play to completion was Treasure Mountain. Anyone who knows this game immediately knows the song that accompanied this adventure game. Going in search of clue bearing elves to find the object that was hidden was difficult, and fun. You had to be careful in using the net, because they were in very short supply.


LISTEN TO THE THE AUDITORY BLISS! (that's looped FOREVER. Also, skip to 6.25 for a midi treat

At the end of the day, when you had captured enough elves to find the keys and treasure chests, you trekked all the way to the summit of the mountain. You were going to see the elusive Master of Mischief. It was he who scattered the much sough after toys across the world of Shady Glen, but returning them was made difficult as he would knock you off of the precarious ladders. Each toy made your XP go up, and you got to keep one at the end of the day. Essentially it was a continuous fetch quest, where you had to read and do math to win. There were also simple logic puzzles. I played this game ahead of the recommended age again, but it was okay because my parents "games" in the car were actually the secretly teaching me how to read.

Honestly, we several of these games, ranging from other challenges with the Master of Mischief in Gizmos and Gadgets, Midnight Rescue!, Operation Neptune, and Treasure Mathstorm. Everyone was playing Math Blasters when I was in second and third grade, but I had no interest as I had already learned the skills through these games. Operation Neptune marks the end of my experience with The Learning Company. I was 10, and the science and mechanics based puzzles were amazingly fun to complete, despite the fact that it was homework disguised as a thrilling survival game.



My little brother came to the gaming scene a little late. Being five years younger than I was, he played Playstation much more than PC or even our Sega Genesis. Besides some Jumpstart Reading and other Jumpstart games, he never really bought into the whole educational game thing.

Regardless, I think The Learning Company deserves a whole lot of credit for disguising many aspects of learning into legitimately fun games. I feel like the the generation immediately following mine missed out on many opportunities to further their education by playing games.

Am I the only one that played these games, or do other people remember them as fondly as I do?