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KingSigy's blog

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KingSigy avatar 7:11 PM on 04.17.2012  (server time)
What I Want in Life

Last week marked a particularly high and low point of my life. On the plus side (hugely, I might add), I got to meet Troy Sander. Troy is the lead singer/bassist of the metal group Mastodon. He signed my friendís LPs and we even had a small chat with him about the groups work.

On the low point, I was asked by a co-worker, ďWhat do you want to do with your life?Ē Seeing as how my birthday was the next day and Iíve been struggling with my own mortality a bit, I had no idea what to say. It sent me into depression and I actually blacked out at the bar I was at.

Suffice to say, I was at a loss for words about what I hold dear to me. No one seemed to care that I met someone that was important to me and everyone was eager to talk about my future instead of trying to make me feel better. It wasnít very pleasant.

Enter ďYakuza: Dead Souls.Ē While itís not a particularly strong entry in the series, the narrative is very strong. It not only helped me feel accomplished in a week of garbage, but if gave me an answer to my co-workers question. What do I want to do with my life, you may ask? Well, simple; I want to pass on love.

See, Kazuma Kiryu has an unconditional love for his adopted daughter, Haruka. He would do anything to protect her and his commitment is shown to its fullest extent in Dead Souls. While he has been serious in the past, the conviction in his face and anger dripping from his words is unrivaled.

One soldier goes to grab Kiryu and he stops his arm in mid-air and replies ďDonít touch me right now. Iím not sure what I might do!Ē Kiryu even walks into a zombie and yells, ďTHE HELL YOU LOOKIN AT?!Ē Itís so raw and passionate that I couldnít help but be fully engaged.

For fans of the series, seeing this play out is just awe-inspiring. Kiryu has always been a man of strong doctrine, but weíve never seen him literally lose himself to save someone. Kiryu finally gives up his no firearms policy once he realizes that punching a zombie into oblivion will yield nothing.

While I donít necessarily want to kill people to protect what I love, I want something in my life that I feel is worth dying for. I know I have my friends Jim and Dan, but I would like to have a Haruka of my own; someone to pass on my traits and qualities to while guiding through life.

I donít only want a child, though. I canít say that young kids go well with me, but I would love to care for an adopted person. While I love my mother, Iíve always felt kind of abandoned as my father has never been a strong presence in my life. I donít have memories of us doing anything together because weíve done very little. He mostly drove me to the doctorís office after my mom yelled at him and left me standing alone after my first driving class.

I feel that I can right the wrong of an orphaned childís life by providing them with the care that my father and their parents never did. I want to guide them on the path to self-discovery and help them become the best they can be.

I suppose kicking the shit out of a bully or two wouldnít be so bad, either. Hell, Iíve never considered myself a nice or upstanding citizen, so why not get a little dirty to protect what I love? At least I could knock some sense into the kids.

I digress, though. My life isnít something I have set in stone. Nothing really interests me and I donít have a definitive plan for what Iíd like to be in the future. What I do know, though, is that I want something to love, plain and simple.

Be that something a woman, a child or my best friend is irrelevant. I just know that I will do everything to make their lives better.

While my Twitter may not be full of loving comments, you can still follow me for some guidance with games @KingSigy. Be sure to leave me some insights about what things you love and maybe Iíll love them too!

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