Talking Bout Your Sex Appeal!

Tomorrow sees the release of Suda51’s newest title, “Lollipop Chainsaw.” I know very little about the actual gameplay and there doesn’t seem to be any extensively in-depth previews on the internet for me to read. All I really have to say about the game is, “I FUCKING WANT IT!”

Why is that? For once in my life, I think I’ve fallen for the “sex-appeal” angle of marketing. It’s terrifying to me as I’ve never been prey to such stunts, but it looks like WB Interactive was won the war this time.

Juliet Starling is so outrageously sexualized that one cannot help but be entranced. The art designers went with blonde hair for obvious reasons (Blondes have more fun!) and even gave their character an excuse to wear practically nothing by designating her as a cheerleader. It’s all too damn clever for me to not fall victim to.

It doesn’t help that the real life analogue of Juliet, the fabulous Jessica Nigri, is a bomb shell. Jessica isn’t sexualized, but taking a look through her cosplay resume reveals that she isn’t afraid to show off her “assets.” It’s insane how uncanny the relation she has to Juliet is, but they both are insanely attractive.

Still, I feel a bit remorseful for objectifying this woman and the character in the game. I should be able to look past such things and notice what the game is actually all about. I’ve been able to do it in the past and I still look at other games with clear sex symbols for their gameplay.

The only other character that has been able to slightly breach my mind is Morrigan Aensland from “Darkstalkers.” Her entire existence is as a sex symbol, being that she is a succubus. I’ve let that one slide as an unsexy demon wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense in the lore of the series. Then again…


Be still my gentle heart...

It doesn’t help that Ms. Nigri has also cosplayed as Morrigan, so I think this whole fusion of Juliet and Jessica was just meant to happen. I was meant to play previous Suda51 games and have excitement for his new title on pure name alone. Not only that, but these two super-sexy and drop dead gorgeous women were destined to be marketed to me.

I just wish I could separate my hormonal mind from myself long enough to know if “Lollipop Chainsaw” is even going to be worth my time. I’m sure at some point during the game I’ll be able to disconnect my mind and sex-drive long enough to know whether I’m enjoying the game or merely the “eye candy.”

Then again, is it really wrong for me to have a crush on a game character? Considering the situation of my life, love isn’t something that comes around often. Maybe having someone to idolize whom I can’t actually impose danger to isn’t so bad. The only thing that could go wrong is that I get sucked into a fantasy which I never leave.

I don’t really see that happening. I’ve always been able to differentiate between fact and fiction ever since I was a child. At the tender age of 8, I was slaughtering people in “Mortal Kombat 3,” but I’m not a merciless killer. I’ve been stomping on Goomba’s since I was 4, but I’ve yet to jump on someone else’s head.

As I grow older, though, I thought I’d have a better shield against juvenile marketing campaigns. While sex clearly sells and I know about its importance in life, the marketing for “Lollipop Chainsaw” is a bit tasteless for me. That’s the whole problem though.

Well, whatever the case, I’m excited for the game and I’m wondering if anyone else suffers this same dilemma. Who else wants Suda’s new game, but only based on sex appeal?