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About
Welcome to a blog of infinite wisdom and magical fun...Just kidding. I'm a gamer with a huge taste for adventure. If you'd heard of a genre of gaming, chances are I've played it. Nothing is foreign to me.

Some of my favorite games include anything Zelda or Mario related, Street Fighter III: Third Strike, Metal Gear Solid 3 and the Yakuza series. I'm an old school gamer at heart, but I do enjoy my PS3 and 360. Nintendo fanboy all the way, though.

I have some pretty strong opinions about the things in my life. Be it my friends, family or any kind of media, I often let my personal feelings get in the way of fair judgement. If I ever offend you, please let me know so that we may both grow together.

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KingSigy
4:08 PM on 07.07.2012



The end of summer is nearing and one thing has dawned on me; I might actually miss some of the co-workers that are leaving. What else dawns on me, though, is how much of an objectifying pig I am.

You see, I’m truly saddened that one girl, in particular, is leaving because she is stunningly beautiful. She never wears makeup and she’s still far prettier than a fully glossed out super-model. I cannot believe the natural makeup of her complexion, but I’ve never really taken the time to learn a damn thing about her.

I know where she’ll be attending college and I know how old she is, but I couldn’t tell you a thing about her personality, what types of films she enjoys or even her favorite bands. She’s spoken to me numerous times about what she wishes to become in life, but I don’t even remember that!

This isn’t a recent discovery of mine, either. When I look into my past and picture the previous women I “fell” for, I often don’t remember much about them, other than their faces. That might have more to do with age (my highschool crush was almost 7 years ago!), but I’m fairly certain I was a pig back then, too.

Women are something that is foreign in my life. I have a mother (obviously) and an older sister, but neither has ever spoken at length to me about how to listen to other females. I definitely love my mom and often have deep, intelligent conversation with her, but the same cannot be said for my sister. She just exists in my life, as sad as that may be.

Regardless, I’ve never looked at them as only “women.” They’ve been family members, first, and friends second. With others outside of my lineage, though, I find it incredibly difficult to picture them as friends or family! It’s impossible to stop thinking with my libido and start utilizing my mind.

There was one girl with which I did treat as more than a mere object. Her name was Stephanie. I remember wanting to cheer her up one day because I saw her crying. I’m not sure what else my motivation was, but maybe I did truly wish to aid her. Regardless, we became friends and began chatting a bit.

We hung out, saw some movies and even got dinner a few times. It was fairly fun, but my mind was fixated on another girl in our class. I was head over heels for her, but Steph just happened to fall for me. I never even noticed this, seeing as how I’d never really bonded with a woman before.

Regardless of any other details, I probably broke Steph’s heart. I suppose I should have realized something was up when she kissed me on the cheek one night, but the path of conversation we were having just made me believe she was proving a point. I’m an idiot!



Aside from that one example, I can’t think of another woman I’ve treated with respect. Now, don’t think that I go up to women and yell at them or speak in a derogatory tone. I usually just treat them like any other person in my life; if they piss me off, I’m mean and if they’re nice, I respond with kindness. But, I often fail to remember details about them other than looks.

Is this the same for females in games? To me, no. For some reason, I’m able to actually focus on the gameplay more than anything else. While fighting games certainly have their fair share of scantily clad women and I’ve failed at viewing Juliet Starling as anything more than a mere sexual object, I can safely say that other games are different.

In the Uncharted series, Elena and Chloe are simply other people to me. I like Elena a lot for her bravery and aptitude on the battlefield. Chloe I dislike because of how bitchy she is, but I approve of how she’s not characterized as just “woman.”

I often cite Cate Archer from the “No One Lives Forever” series as another strong female role. She and Joanna Dark, from “Perfect Dark,” are women cast in the role of a typical male character. They get a huge arsenal of guns and mow-down baddies just like any other male. Never once do they mention anything about “girl power” or being a woman.

Maybe those last two, though, are because of the perspective. If Perfect Dark were in third person, would I be able to not stare at Joanna? Well, I never did so in “Tomb Raider,” so maybe? I will admit that I like the remodel of Lara Croft from the Crystal Dynamic titles, so I guess that point is moot.



Morrigan Aensland of “Darkstalkers” fame is also another one I let slide. She’s insanely oversexualized, but her character is a succubus. If you saw a succubus wearing non-revealing clothing and being slightly overweight, it really wouldn’t fit into the role of the character. You can play on desire and lack “desirable” qualities.

Then again, maybe that is the whole problem with me. My own fetishes are upheld to such a high standard that when I see someone meet them, I just lose it. I’ve never been attracted to celebrities or models because of how fake they appear on the surface, but I’ve lost my senses to regular women for their realistic beauty.

As I continue to ramble, though, I notice that I still am failing to talk about anyone’s personality. So come next week, when my co-workers leave, I’m not sure what I’ll do. Obviously another person is going to replace my affection, but hopefully I can see past the surface details. I’m not optimistic, though.
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Dude, you're overthinking this. So you notice beautiful women. Congratulations: you're a hetero man. It really means nothing more than that. There's a huge difference between objectifying and being entranced by beauty.

If you truly objectified women, you wouldn't care about how much you knew of them. You wouldn't even think of it or write this blog. Worse yet, you'd probably be proud of your myopic viewpoint.

As for listening to women - it's no different from listening to anyone else. Make eye contact, repeat what they're saying in your head, pick a point of interest and ask an open-ended question about it. (That's a question that can't be answered with a yes or no.)

Have you ever thought that maybe you don't recall details of your conversations with women because you've yet to meet one that really interests you? There's no crime in that. Even after you fall in love and enter a relationship, you'll still see beautiful women every day, women whose faces and silohuettes will imprint themselves on your mind. But you won't get to know them, you won't remember their tastes or hopes and dreams. You'll conserve that mental energy for the girl you go home to.

One last thing: please, please don't make the distinction between your libido and your mind. That is such a huge fallacy of Western culture, and a huge pet peeve of mine. Sex is essential to life. Sex is essential to health: mental, emotional and physical. Sex is not some primal urge you have to combat in order to behave 'properly.' Sex is proper. As people, we connect, accept, reject and relate to each other on a sexual level every day, all the time. Therefore, sex is also essential to interaction.

You want to attract a woman? You want to relate to them? You wonder how love will ever be mutual? Loosen up. Stop guilt-tripping yourself about sexual attraction. It's not wrong. It doesn't devalue anyone. It's the catalyst for so much of life. Accept it as part of your mind, and you'll grow much more comfortable with yourself. And that, my internet friend, is a trait most women find very desirable.

Oh, and is Stephanie still single? If she is, maybe give her a call. Unless you just couldn't find her attractive at all, of course. Otherwise, in my opinion, it's a terrible shame to waste love that's offered you.
I'd like to take this moment to give Dynamo Joe an interweb high five for summing up in the best possible way.

*WOOPSHHHHH*
@DynamoJoe

I haven't spoken to Stephanie since 2007. I have no idea where she is or what she's doing. Even if I wanted to find her, I couldn't.

I'm also not sure I agree with sex being essential to physical health, but that's just my own opinion.

I also find it strange that I can remember nearly everything about random guys that walk into my life, but not women. That bother's me a lot.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, you're no pig. Prejudice is something we all have, but we chose to either flaunt it or try and address it, and you're doing the latter. You obviously want to recognize women as individuals, you just aren't giving yourself the opportunity. Just strike up a conversation, it's not too hard, and there's really nothing you can talk about with guys that you can't talk about with girls. If you think there is, then that is sexism, but what you're describing isn't. Your heart is in the right place, but like DynamoJoe said, you're over thinking it.
It's a double edged sword but it's not a fine line to walk, man. If you want nothing but to connect to them on a personal level, find out if they have similar interests and personality quirks, for starters. If they don't then it's probably best you don't bother trying much harder, otherwise you'll be disappointed or worse.

But most importantly, it takes time. It's different for everyone, but don't try to rush anything if either of you aren't comfortable enough. Confidence is knowing who you are and what you want. Figure that out first, and the rest will get much easier to deal with.

Hope that helps.
... what dynamoJoe and Irishladdie said.

(and noticing attractive people is not specifically a male thing, women do it too. Look at all the young girls drooling over Justin Bieber. For women, having a crush on an attractive unattainable male is often part of growing up, for me it was David Cassidy! I remember when I worked in an all-female office and we all used to objectify the replacement purolator delivery guy we had one summer... he was very attractive and we had no intention of getting to know him, but we all used to argue over who's turn it was to "receive the daily package". Women can be pigs too.)
If you don't like how you relate to women, there are steps you can take to address and change that.

Honestly though, it sounds like that will address itself over time. Have you fallen in love yet? Most of the time, when you're really in love, you feel as thought the person you love is an extension of yourself, which is the opposite of objectification.

I hope you find love, dawg!
@irishladdie727

I have no idea how to strike up conversation. I've yet to meet a woman who actually enjoys video games, save for the few I've screwed things up with.

@Nihil

I just want someone to be with. I don't even care what else about them, but that doesn't seem to work.

@Elsa

Hahaha. I'm not sure if I take solace in knowing that, but I guess it will give me some piece of mind.

@J Holmes

I've fallen in love numerous times, but it's never been reciprocated. I'm still undecided on whether I fell in love with the person, or their looks. I'm leaning towards the latter.
"I just want someone to be with. I don't even care what else about them, but that doesn't seem to work."

You may want to try online ads for independent escort services then.

I mean online dating. Yeah, that's what I meant...
The idea of a non-sexy succubus is actually pretty interesting , I would enjoy that, kind of like how I sympathize with fat old Megaman from streetfigther x tekken I would sympathize with her
@Kaggen
There's always someone that will find that succubus sexy.
@KingSigy If there's a girl you're interested in, find out what she likes, and ask her about it. If you take an interest in her life, she'll take an interest in yours, and that includes video games. Good luck, this sounds like more of a shyness problem than a sexism problem. You've just got to put yourself out there!

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