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Ah hell no. FUCK THAT. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO STAND WITH US. Hell imo youre better than most of us man. I love reading your comments and have quite enjoyed some of your blogs. You are intelligent, and I love how you write so bluntly. You have no problem stating your opinion and I respect the hell out of you for it. Those qualities are few and far between these days. I completely understand where you are coming from. I dont share your problem in reaching out, but I dont let many people get close to me at all. I keep a wall of jokes and anger between me and most folks. I've been hurt so many times in my life and always by those closest (really, who else could make it hurt like that though?), that now I stay in my comfort zone. I've been testing the waters again lately though and I must urge you to keep doing the same. So you struck out with a couple of folks? Yeah it sucks at first, but keep trying. It's taken me a few years to figure out who I fit with here. It's a big place and it may take a minute to find the like minded folks you click with the best. God, I wish I could use my words better! I'm frustrated right now because I want to convey that you are a part of this community, to me and others Im sure. It wouldnt be the same if you took a step back and I quit seeing you around. People like you and Elsa and others are what keep me here. You guys and gals are so damn smart and you know how to express it. I don't. I feel like I retarded monkey at a typewriter when I respond to you guys. I know I'm damn smart, I just don't know how to express that and as a result, I dont often talk to the folks I respect and enjoy the most around here. You are one of those folks. If you ever want to try and chat with me on psn or pc, feel free man. I dont have a headset anymore, but I can type like the dickens! (PSN: MickGuerrera, Steam: Hillbillysk8). Just don't give up on yourself or trying to find your spot here. This asshole will miss the hell out of you.
I find it hard to see how any good community interaction can take place on the c-blogs alone. Not that I am saying that is your problem. Sup bb.
@PhilK3nS3bb3n
If you start writing Shakespeare, then I'll believe your monkey analogy, haha.
I like reading your comments a lot. They're really funny. I don't believe I've ever seen you write a blog, though. Well, figuratively, of course. Me actually watching you write one would be a tad bit strange.
I've just always had the same problem bonding with people like I have with Venus. There were two friends who were close to a girl I liked (and one that slept with her, causing a lot of frustration and depression in my life) and I couldn't even break through to them.
Also, I didn't mean to imply I would cease posting on Destructoid. For awhile now, I've been writing primarily with you guys in mind and then posting those thoughts over on Screwattack. I think I'm going to reverse that trend and write for them primarily.
We'll see how everything goes, but I'm not going to leave just let.
@Tarvu
Forums aren't my thing. I've made a completely mockery of myself over there.
If you start writing Shakespeare, then I'll believe your monkey analogy, haha.
I like reading your comments a lot. They're really funny. I don't believe I've ever seen you write a blog, though. Well, figuratively, of course. Me actually watching you write one would be a tad bit strange.
I've just always had the same problem bonding with people like I have with Venus. There were two friends who were close to a girl I liked (and one that slept with her, causing a lot of frustration and depression in my life) and I couldn't even break through to them.
Also, I didn't mean to imply I would cease posting on Destructoid. For awhile now, I've been writing primarily with you guys in mind and then posting those thoughts over on Screwattack. I think I'm going to reverse that trend and write for them primarily.
We'll see how everything goes, but I'm not going to leave just let.
@Tarvu
Forums aren't my thing. I've made a completely mockery of myself over there.
Also, I find it pretty damn funny that the only person who ever has joined one of my fnf games was Gareth as well.
Hey man. I have a question for you. Are we the same person? Some of the things you described here apply to myself so much. I've had trouble maintaining friendships, there's been times where I've questioned if I should even stay on Dtoid. I've gotten mad at people for the dumbest shit. I felt I too was overbearing about my opinion, something I'm admittedly only half sorry about (trollololol) and I always put myself down. Hell even when someone doesn't respond on Twitter I sometimes feel like crap and I still beat myself up for mistakes I made, even
years ago.
This is just my experience but I was Told by my doctor not to recently that I was depressed. Suddenly my eyes are opened. I never really thought about it but it makes sense why I sometimes struggle to maintain friendships or even lack the desire to maintain them. That's just me though.
The good thing I've found about Dtoid is most people here won't turn their backs on you. There's some really kind and understanding folk. I know for a fact had I not had SuperMonk4Ever, ChillyBilly & Monks Brother I may not have been typing this here now 2 years after I joined. You got friends here if you need them. Don't worry about whether you go on or on about what games you do/don't like cause I'll listen. Doesn't matter the game man, you wanna chat hit me up on PSN or Xbox and we can chat about whatever. You seem like a cool guy and I'd definitely want to repeat what went down for All 4 One (minus my brother & his friend bursting in drunk)
See I too rambled on way too much about myself too. Same person, I tells ya.
years ago.
This is just my experience but I was Told by my doctor not to recently that I was depressed. Suddenly my eyes are opened. I never really thought about it but it makes sense why I sometimes struggle to maintain friendships or even lack the desire to maintain them. That's just me though.
The good thing I've found about Dtoid is most people here won't turn their backs on you. There's some really kind and understanding folk. I know for a fact had I not had SuperMonk4Ever, ChillyBilly & Monks Brother I may not have been typing this here now 2 years after I joined. You got friends here if you need them. Don't worry about whether you go on or on about what games you do/don't like cause I'll listen. Doesn't matter the game man, you wanna chat hit me up on PSN or Xbox and we can chat about whatever. You seem like a cool guy and I'd definitely want to repeat what went down for All 4 One (minus my brother & his friend bursting in drunk)
See I too rambled on way too much about myself too. Same person, I tells ya.
@King: I've never written a real blog because Im scared to throw my feelings and thoughts out there. Not because of fear of judgement or anything, but because I feel I can't express myself properly from a keyboard. I can talk like a mother fucker, but my brain goes to pudding when I type. I always feel that what Im trying to say comes out wrong and gets misconstrued. That's why my blogs are just emotions and random thoughts. Like Gareth Im also depressed. If it werent for kids... well you know. So I dont try to express myself much anyways. I hope you find what youre looking for and stay around for a long time. Glad you're not leaving just yet at least. Finally, Shakespeare was a fucking hack.
Haha Phil that wasn't unintentional, I enjoy meeting and playing with lots of people. I just tend to shutdown in groups unless I'm familiar and comfortable with the group (it's my problem not theirs). I remember playing Gears 2 and Left 4 Dead with guys like Andy Dixon and Occams literally right when I joined Dtoid.
Just call me a gamer whisperer...haha kidding. Seriously Phil, we gotta play some CoD sometime.
Just call me a gamer whisperer...haha kidding. Seriously Phil, we gotta play some CoD sometime.
Haha yes we do Gareth. Isn't that why we friended up on psn in the first place? I don't have the map packs, but next week ill host a fnf for it. In the meantime ill be on my usual times(usually after 9pst or during the afternoon between 3-4). Hit me up for some co op or w/e.
Hey, I definitely consider you a part of this community. As far as FNF goes, that just how it is sometimes. I'm starting some Saturday stuff because i figured people could get together better on the weekend. Originally Gareth's idea I think.
Sometimes I find it hard to interact with the guys I don't know so well, but that's just it, that's how you get to know each other. Keep playing stuff, chatting, whatever. I'm almost sure I'll make a dick of myself tonight, because I've been drinking and am hosting TF2. But these guys are some cool mofherfuckers.
And even though tarvu is a bird, he's right. Sometimes going to the forums or irc is a good idea. There are folks that really only hang out in one place. What I'm attempting to express, is: interact. Even if you feel awkward.
Sometimes I find it hard to interact with the guys I don't know so well, but that's just it, that's how you get to know each other. Keep playing stuff, chatting, whatever. I'm almost sure I'll make a dick of myself tonight, because I've been drinking and am hosting TF2. But these guys are some cool mofherfuckers.
And even though tarvu is a bird, he's right. Sometimes going to the forums or irc is a good idea. There are folks that really only hang out in one place. What I'm attempting to express, is: interact. Even if you feel awkward.
@garethxxgod
I actually freeze up in groups, too. I have problems talking to people if they are in excess of 3. I seem to be okay with two friends, as my trip to see Iron Maiden this past week showed me.
I remember when I had a gigantic group of friends, though, and it was chaos. I'd be chatting with one person while the other 5 were doing their own thing. I wouldn't be able to break in unless I singled a person out. It felt so impersonal and I hated just ignoring everyone else.
To let you all know, I had a long battle with depression in high school. I was very suicidal and even made a few attempts on my life. I took medicine up until the end of my sophomore year in college.
I refuse, now, to go back on meds, but clearly the symptoms came back. It all started after I had a falling out with a girl. She broke my heart and it's been next to impossible for me to be happy.
I actually freeze up in groups, too. I have problems talking to people if they are in excess of 3. I seem to be okay with two friends, as my trip to see Iron Maiden this past week showed me.
I remember when I had a gigantic group of friends, though, and it was chaos. I'd be chatting with one person while the other 5 were doing their own thing. I wouldn't be able to break in unless I singled a person out. It felt so impersonal and I hated just ignoring everyone else.
To let you all know, I had a long battle with depression in high school. I was very suicidal and even made a few attempts on my life. I took medicine up until the end of my sophomore year in college.
I refuse, now, to go back on meds, but clearly the symptoms came back. It all started after I had a falling out with a girl. She broke my heart and it's been next to impossible for me to be happy.
Just keep trying. I haven't found one single friend here yet, but will I let that stop me from trying? Of course not. You went through a lot it seems, but it'll get better, just as long as you don't give up. This I promise you. :)
@Solar: I love your blogs. You can hit me up too, if interested. My blogs and info panel pretty much let ya know how I am, so click my name, check me out, hit me up. If ya want.
@Everyone: Lets bring it in for a group hug. I love all you (Except Tarvu).
Just kidding Birdman.
@Everyone: Lets bring it in for a group hug. I love all you (Except Tarvu).
Just kidding Birdman.
I'm only hear because of Friends I've made though FNF, C-Blogs and general weirdness on Twitter. I swear if I hadn't had bought Socom Confrontation back when it came out for PSN FNF way back when, I wouldn't be here.
So yeah, let's be friends. Add me on Xbox Live: Daxelman. We'll play Reach or something.
...
Once I get more games.
So yeah, let's be friends. Add me on Xbox Live: Daxelman. We'll play Reach or something.
...
Once I get more games.
"I actually freeze up in groups, too. I have problems talking to people if they are in excess of 3"
That's pretty much a hard and fast rule for myself too. Just keep trying. I really don't think an introvert can turn himself into an extrovert but you can always get more comfortable with yourself and others.
I should get more involved with the community here too :/
That's pretty much a hard and fast rule for myself too. Just keep trying. I really don't think an introvert can turn himself into an extrovert but you can always get more comfortable with yourself and others.
I should get more involved with the community here too :/
Eh don't be like that! You're one of us!!
You're doing a much better job at mingling than I am. I've been here 5 years now and don't really play with anyone regularly outside of the odd FNF. Hell, I'm still shy when using a mic (though right now my internet connection prevents me from using it. Honest!). I've had a chance to hit up a Dtoid NARP but was too nervous to go (wasn't exactly close either). Even most of my time spent on the site itself I seem to be participating from the shadows. So just keep at it. Sometimes you just need to be playing the right game, at the right time to find that other Dtoider that you'll end up connecting with.
Also part of the problem is that we haven't friended each other yet. I'm CelicaCrazed on PSN, Live, Steam, iPod GameCenter/OpenFeint.
You're doing a much better job at mingling than I am. I've been here 5 years now and don't really play with anyone regularly outside of the odd FNF. Hell, I'm still shy when using a mic (though right now my internet connection prevents me from using it. Honest!). I've had a chance to hit up a Dtoid NARP but was too nervous to go (wasn't exactly close either). Even most of my time spent on the site itself I seem to be participating from the shadows. So just keep at it. Sometimes you just need to be playing the right game, at the right time to find that other Dtoider that you'll end up connecting with.
Also part of the problem is that we haven't friended each other yet. I'm CelicaCrazed on PSN, Live, Steam, iPod GameCenter/OpenFeint.
>I've made a completely mockery of myself over there.
Yeah but we all do that. It's kind of like an old-school text adventure where we make exaggerated parodies of our true selves for the amusement of ourselves and others. It's fun dude, you should try it again sometime.
...
Unless I'm the only one who does that. In which case you should ignore me, because I am bad and terrible. But even then, if a guy like me can get along there, surely you can. Right?
Yeah but we all do that. It's kind of like an old-school text adventure where we make exaggerated parodies of our true selves for the amusement of ourselves and others. It's fun dude, you should try it again sometime.
...
Unless I'm the only one who does that. In which case you should ignore me, because I am bad and terrible. But even then, if a guy like me can get along there, surely you can. Right?
Well, I definitely consider you a part of Dtoid community, but I can relate. I only write stupid blogs here once a year, so I'll be suprised if anyone remembers me at all (SO SAD). I follow many dtoiders on Twitter, so I guess that's something. Don't give up, man. I really like your blogs (the one about Ezio is probably my favorite), so I hope you will continue to write awesome stuff. Let's all be friends, you guys, and play XBAX together or some shit like that!
Just wanted to comment on a few things. The FNF stuff, especially on PS3, there just aren't a lot of us on PS3 that participate in the game sessions. It's usually the same 4-5 people, although we have been expanding a bit lately, but it focuses primarily on two games right now: Battlefield 3 and Starhawk (and of course Elsa's MAG). And I've only been community-active about half a year, and that's really all that's consistently played. Killzone 3 had life for a while but that seems about gone, too. Short version is it's not you, getting people to show up for FNF is difficult.
I'm not one to give advice on this type of stuff much, but I did want to suggest to focus more on the fun you have interacting with people, than what it means to you or what you want it to become.
I'm not one to give advice on this type of stuff much, but I did want to suggest to focus more on the fun you have interacting with people, than what it means to you or what you want it to become.
@KingSigy... I love this blog! I think you actually speak to a common truth that many people here probably feel.
I'm here on the c-blogs a lot (probably too much) and even I feel that I'm on the outside looking in. Like yourself, I too am actually a bit shy in person. I have a natural tendency to be a loner and to be bossy... which is not a good mix! LOL! I've met people from the site at PAX and I loved that there were evening events planned because that was the time when I got to meet people - most of the days of PAX were spent alone with just my husband, though I would have loved to group up with others but just didn't know how to go about it.
I think a lot of the issue is that much of the socialization and deeper friendships here on the site are formed off of the site - on social media such as twitter or facebook or emails. This then seems to lead to people either meeting in person or just forming those deeper friendships where you know their dog's name. The problem is that when people turn to twitter, etc - they do form those deeper friendships, but they also seem to disappear from the main site. For myself, I choose to spend my time on the site rather than learn twitter et al and form those deeper friendships - at the cost of less time here.
I do think that it is quite possible to form relationships just by hanging out on the forums or the c-blogs or the video formats (it's hard to hang out at all of them), but those relationships will definitely be more constrained and slightly less personal than using social media. It comes down to choice and what you want as well as the time you have.
I find twitter to be very overwhelming so I tend to avoid it and don't really know how to use it well (as you know... I never did manage to tweet you! LOL)... so I've made the choice to stick to the c-blogs and the FNF. The FNF is an awesome place to meet people, but it's currently hard to find a game that everyone is playing. I'm not a fan of Starhawk, but traded in some older games to get it just because it does seem like one of the few games that might hold some longevity for FNF. I was really, really, really lucky with MAG... I managed to get in with a small group of people and we have played for over two years now. I have a genuine affection for those people and still play primarily for the chance to talk to them once in awhile (Tsukanda showed up last night and it was awesome to talk to him again!! It's been so long!)
Anyway... it really comes down to what you are looking for. For myself I keep trying with the FNF and do meet some very cool people that way (I had a ton of fun playing Ghost Recon co-op with Patman one night!) but it's something you have to keep at pretty persistently. For the rest, I know I'll stick to the c-blogs just because I don't want to become another MIA Dtoider who I know is still around, but is on twitter or other social media and not on the site. That's likely the way to go if you want those deeper relationships, but I guess I'm happy with the shallow relationships and feeling a bit of an outsider because I just can't seem to make the effort to learn social media and spend the time to form those deeper friendships. :(
... and if you ever want to play a co-op game and chat... let me know! My husband has car night on Tuesdays and is out and that's always a good night for me for a regular co-op game! (even something old like Resistance 2 co-op, or the newer Ghost Recon, or Portal 2.... or anything!)
Anyway... you're not alone (and dammit, don't you go all Twitter on me and disappear from the c-blogs, I'll be pissed as shit if another one of those who I regard as my friends disappears into that abyss!) :)
I'm here on the c-blogs a lot (probably too much) and even I feel that I'm on the outside looking in. Like yourself, I too am actually a bit shy in person. I have a natural tendency to be a loner and to be bossy... which is not a good mix! LOL! I've met people from the site at PAX and I loved that there were evening events planned because that was the time when I got to meet people - most of the days of PAX were spent alone with just my husband, though I would have loved to group up with others but just didn't know how to go about it.
I think a lot of the issue is that much of the socialization and deeper friendships here on the site are formed off of the site - on social media such as twitter or facebook or emails. This then seems to lead to people either meeting in person or just forming those deeper friendships where you know their dog's name. The problem is that when people turn to twitter, etc - they do form those deeper friendships, but they also seem to disappear from the main site. For myself, I choose to spend my time on the site rather than learn twitter et al and form those deeper friendships - at the cost of less time here.
I do think that it is quite possible to form relationships just by hanging out on the forums or the c-blogs or the video formats (it's hard to hang out at all of them), but those relationships will definitely be more constrained and slightly less personal than using social media. It comes down to choice and what you want as well as the time you have.
I find twitter to be very overwhelming so I tend to avoid it and don't really know how to use it well (as you know... I never did manage to tweet you! LOL)... so I've made the choice to stick to the c-blogs and the FNF. The FNF is an awesome place to meet people, but it's currently hard to find a game that everyone is playing. I'm not a fan of Starhawk, but traded in some older games to get it just because it does seem like one of the few games that might hold some longevity for FNF. I was really, really, really lucky with MAG... I managed to get in with a small group of people and we have played for over two years now. I have a genuine affection for those people and still play primarily for the chance to talk to them once in awhile (Tsukanda showed up last night and it was awesome to talk to him again!! It's been so long!)
Anyway... it really comes down to what you are looking for. For myself I keep trying with the FNF and do meet some very cool people that way (I had a ton of fun playing Ghost Recon co-op with Patman one night!) but it's something you have to keep at pretty persistently. For the rest, I know I'll stick to the c-blogs just because I don't want to become another MIA Dtoider who I know is still around, but is on twitter or other social media and not on the site. That's likely the way to go if you want those deeper relationships, but I guess I'm happy with the shallow relationships and feeling a bit of an outsider because I just can't seem to make the effort to learn social media and spend the time to form those deeper friendships. :(
... and if you ever want to play a co-op game and chat... let me know! My husband has car night on Tuesdays and is out and that's always a good night for me for a regular co-op game! (even something old like Resistance 2 co-op, or the newer Ghost Recon, or Portal 2.... or anything!)
Anyway... you're not alone (and dammit, don't you go all Twitter on me and disappear from the c-blogs, I'll be pissed as shit if another one of those who I regard as my friends disappears into that abyss!) :)
I never said anything about the forums, just saying that the c-blogs alone seem pretty poor for community interaction to me.
I spread myself all over.
I spread myself all over.
I was going to say I really enjoyed playing Global Offensive with you :D Even though I kept getting nominated for a kick hahaha.
Hell I felt like the rude bootay for having to leave, but you seemed like a really cool chap.
Just know that whenever you are with other people, chances are high that they are just as worried about making a good impression with you as you are with them. The best thing you can do is to not stress it too much. Speaking for myself, all I care about when I am playing a game with someone or hanging out with someone is that they are having a good time themselves. They do not need to entertain me or feel pressured to be someone they are not. I would say the same to you as well, just have fun. When you are having fun, chances are great that other people are as well.
Just know that if you ever want to play a game or something, just hit me up. I promise that you will not have to feel pressured to make conversation or feel like you have to be someone you are not. Honestly, it is just nice to have someone you know playing with you. The company is always nice.
Hell I felt like the rude bootay for having to leave, but you seemed like a really cool chap.
Just know that whenever you are with other people, chances are high that they are just as worried about making a good impression with you as you are with them. The best thing you can do is to not stress it too much. Speaking for myself, all I care about when I am playing a game with someone or hanging out with someone is that they are having a good time themselves. They do not need to entertain me or feel pressured to be someone they are not. I would say the same to you as well, just have fun. When you are having fun, chances are great that other people are as well.
Just know that if you ever want to play a game or something, just hit me up. I promise that you will not have to feel pressured to make conversation or feel like you have to be someone you are not. Honestly, it is just nice to have someone you know playing with you. The company is always nice.
Man, there's so much here I don't even know where to begin!
First off, I've always considered you a part of the community, and I have noticed times when you don't post as often (I'm Magnalon by the way!). I love your blogs, and even if you don't get as many comments/interactions as you'd hoped for, people are reading them.
I know that's an easy thing to say because you can't really verify that, but I've found more solace in Twitter than anything. I remember over two years ago people were clamoring for me to get Twitter because so many Dtoiders were on it -- it's basically my Dtoid feed.
I interact with so many people on Twitter who either aren't here anymore, or just got here, it's insane. I know you're already on there, but check out my following/followers lists, and see if you can find some peeps on there you'd want.
That's just my two cents, and how I grew closer to the community as a whole -- it doesn't work the same way for everyone. I was always a full time front page kind of guy myself, so I met a ton of people from that as well. Forums and Outer Heaven are also an option.
But yea man, you aren't alone, and a lot of people either feel this way, or have felt like this at some point in their life. The best advice I can give in this situation is that everyone is different -- you shouldn't feel weird for being the way you are.
We all have faults and things we may want/want to work on, but I've always enjoyed you for you!
First off, I've always considered you a part of the community, and I have noticed times when you don't post as often (I'm Magnalon by the way!). I love your blogs, and even if you don't get as many comments/interactions as you'd hoped for, people are reading them.
I know that's an easy thing to say because you can't really verify that, but I've found more solace in Twitter than anything. I remember over two years ago people were clamoring for me to get Twitter because so many Dtoiders were on it -- it's basically my Dtoid feed.
I interact with so many people on Twitter who either aren't here anymore, or just got here, it's insane. I know you're already on there, but check out my following/followers lists, and see if you can find some peeps on there you'd want.
That's just my two cents, and how I grew closer to the community as a whole -- it doesn't work the same way for everyone. I was always a full time front page kind of guy myself, so I met a ton of people from that as well. Forums and Outer Heaven are also an option.
But yea man, you aren't alone, and a lot of people either feel this way, or have felt like this at some point in their life. The best advice I can give in this situation is that everyone is different -- you shouldn't feel weird for being the way you are.
We all have faults and things we may want/want to work on, but I've always enjoyed you for you!
I promise to add all of you to the respective networks you mentioned, but I just got home from work. I had a 9-8 shift. My life sucks, haha.
@Elsa I would loooove to play old games. I wish the site had some kind of social function where you could list the games you want to play and for what systems. Then you could click on a game title, and see who wants to play it. I still haven't finished Portal 2 co-op! I'd also love to do stuff like Trine 2, the PSN zombie games they've given us, etc.
@Dare... I don't have a lot of PSN games (no PS+ subscription) but I do have Portal 2 and while I did play through the original co-op game there is a lot of new (and free) co-op DLC that I haven't played yet! My surgery has been delayed till August 01 (I got bumped from July 11th) so I have a bunch of Tuesdays if you want to tackle a regular co-op game on Tuesday nights - send me a PSN note if you want to tee something up!
... and yeah, it would be nice to see something where we could tee up older games and people to play with (I do love playing R2 co-op still!). They have the "fight" Destructoid link at the top, but it seems very limited in the games that it covers and primarily seems to be sports and fighter games (though they've also added starcraft). I wonder how many people actually use it?
I did try using the forums at one point to get a Tuesday night retro Warhawk game going... but it wasn't overly successful. :(
... though the forums might still be the best place to try at this point.
... and yeah, it would be nice to see something where we could tee up older games and people to play with (I do love playing R2 co-op still!). They have the "fight" Destructoid link at the top, but it seems very limited in the games that it covers and primarily seems to be sports and fighter games (though they've also added starcraft). I wonder how many people actually use it?
I did try using the forums at one point to get a Tuesday night retro Warhawk game going... but it wasn't overly successful. :(
... though the forums might still be the best place to try at this point.
