I’m a habitual complainer. If there’s one thing you can count on me for, it’s realistic and consistent criticism. I do not let things fall through the cracks. If I see a problem, it’s promptly put on trial.
Still, I’ve noticed something recently; my cynicism has made me completely jaded. I either just really hate modern gaming or I dislike everything popular. That cannot be the case, but those reasons certainly explain my utter hatred of “inFamous 2” and a few other titles from last year.
My older groups of friends always dismissed me and my friend Jim’s musings because of our similar thoughts. Every time we explained why we disliked something, they’d turn around and state, “That’s just because you hate everything.” Well, what if that is true?
There has to be some starting point to all of this bitterness. Maybe it happened in middle school? I remember meeting some new friends and quickly adjusting my gaming tastes to match theirs. It ended up with me loving the Unreal series, so that doesn’t make sense.
Maybe it was high school? My first few years were pretty awful, but I always talked about “Grand Theft Auto” and how fantastic that series was. That can’t be it either…Hm?
This has me in a cynical fit, though!
I think the problem is just more modern. My pessimistic interest in modern gaming probably stems from the fact that I’ve been gaming for close to 20 years now. When you’ve played and been exposed to something for more than half of your natural life, you’re bound to notice repeated trends and styles.
When every fighting game started to end up like Street Fighter in the mid-90’s, I stopped playing those and hated the new ones. Now I’m back into that genre and “Street Fighter IV” is a favorite (sort of). Where the others failed to me, IV reigns supreme.
When “Guitar Hero” began to overstay its welcome in 2009, I looked to “DJ Hero” for revitalization of the genre. That paid off in spades, but “Guitar Hero” wouldn’t stop for another year. I couldn’t muster any kind of pleasant words about the franchise.
Shooters stopped being a lot of fun for me after “Call of Duty 4” and only recently have I started to get back into them. With the yearly installments of COD, that genre just seems like the same shit to me. There is only so much brown and grey one can tolerate.
But is my waning interest in these games due to the series growing stale, or simply because I “hate” everything? 2011 had me playing the fewest amount of new games that I could remember. I believe my total count was around 15, which is a huge downgrade from the 30-something I played from 2010 or close to 50 in 2009.
As I grow older and watch the industry mature alongside me, I just get an overwhelming sense of sameness. Trends repeat every 5 or 6 years and it’s becoming tiring to watch people praise things I loved almost a decade ago. Yeah, open-world games were great back in 2001 when GTAIII first did it, but we have to move on!
Maybe the whole thing is because of how I view myself? My life has certainly not turned out the way I thought it would in senior year. I believed I would be a Chemist and concocting different formulas for some drug company. Now I bag groceries.
Even Letterman bags, so you know it's awful!
Today, a former classmate ran into me at my store. He immediately recognized me and I was stunned. Why did this kid have to come here? He shook my hand and began to explain how he was employed at a hospital, working in their IT department.
Well, I’m so thrilled for you! When is it my turn to reap some rewards? While that thought is completely selfish, maybe that’s a part of my apathetic nature. Maybe my own self-pity and egocentric thoughts are why I’m jaded.
Or maybe gaming really does just suck? There has to be something wrong when big titles like “Skyrim,” “Uncharted 3” and “Saints Row: The Third” are just pure trash to me. I can’t be alone in my antipathy.
Whatever the reason, I just know that I’m a jaded gamer. If something isn’t good enough to me, the world will know. If I come off as somebody who “hates everything,” then I guess that’s just the cross I have to bear.
I can't even use the word "jaded" without thinking of them...
KingSigy's blog
Follow
RSS
Contact
I don't want to just serve up a second helping of the same ol' stuff, but I figure it's been awhile. Just a gentle reminder that gaming is only a hobby, a superficial thing, and we both know that your feelings of disappointment stem from deeper experiences, right? You're not jaded, your apathy is not in your 'nature,' you suffer from chronic depression. It's an affliction. It will lie to you and tell you that you hate your life, even that you hate living. You don't. You hate parts of your past that you've not yet let go. That hate, that pain, that dissappointment, that self-loathing sets in like rot and taints new experiences.
It's fantastic that you've found a safe place to blog about these things with a caring community, but nothing beats real conversation with flesh-and-blood. Have you found anyone older and wiser to really confide in? Trust is hard, I know, but the returns are worth it.
Don't forget to look past gaming and find things you can do to give to others. Unselfish giving is huge boost to your self-esteem and makes life sweeter. It also makes you more attractive to the ladies! It's no matter if your rich or poor, because the most valuable and precious commodity you have is your time. Give your time to friends and family, running errands, doing chores, listening to them, showing an interest in what they find important (without the trademark criticism). Their gratitude will be more satifying than any virtual accomplishment in the digital realm.
It really sounds like your soul is craving something real. Games are meant to be entertaining diversions, nothing more. They feel hollow because they are. Spend some extra time contributing to the people in your life, and when you take a break from it the experience won't feel like such a let-down.
Take care, and keep fighting!
I do think that switching genres up helps a bit. I hadn't played many shooter games prior to my PS3 so they stayed "new" for awhile. I stuck with MW3 this time, so it's the first CoD game that I've played online beyond level 5 or so - and it's given me some insight into why it's so popular (I still find the game a bit soul-less, but it's a very easy game to just boot up and play online).
For me, it's not often that something truly different or interesting comes along. I think that's one of the reasons that I loved MAG. The focus was on cooperation and leadership and with 256 players in the game - it truly was a different take on both online play and shooter games. Starhawk is another game that seems to be different - with a twist on online that combines teamwork and RTS elements.
... I guess I take the little things in some games and appreciate the "newness" of it, though that newness doesn't last long. I loved how Borderlands combined RPG and shooter play - but I'm sure that Borderlands 2 will seem a bit like "more of the same".
However the high level of irritation you get probably stems from outside sources. I remember one of your past blogs you talked about how you playing video games seemed to have prevented you from other things. Sometimes I feel like the amount of time I spend playing games is a waste I spent all of this time, money and energy into games. Is it worth it? sometimes it feels like it is other times it doesn't. Though I'm sure this is a question that everyone with a hobby deals with.
@DynamoJoe
Things outside of gaming aren't going as well as I'd hope, but I have been playing a bunch of TF2 and Left 4 Dead with a fellow co-worker. He's a nice kid, but we never really chat about anything outside of the game.
The girl I was interested in has completely no interest in me. It's really hard to deal with that, but I don't see her often anymore, so I believe I'm just going to have to let it go.
Other than that, my life just consists of work. I keep covering for co-workers and then getting no thanks in return. I suppose money is the ultimate reward, but it's difficult to waste my entire day (10 fucking hours!) and then have no one thanking me after.
Ah well, that's just the way it is.
@Elsa
MAG didn't draw me in that much, but you are right. I don't believe I've ever played a shooter with more than 128 players. I've also heard the game has improved over the years with it's updates, so maybe it is time I give the game another shot. I don't get much PS3 time, though, so I think I'm screwed on that front.
@GlitchMaster8
One of my goals, currently, is to become a gaming journalist, so I never try to hide my harsh criticisms. I'm glad someone else understands that bitter love is better than blind adoration.
@Ben77
I don't look at games and assume they will suck. I mean, not until recently. GTAV looks really tired and sad to me, but I usually still try the games before I make a final judgement. It's not right to just write something off without giving it a fair shot.
@Scissors
I'm with you on the fetch quests. It's so damn cheap and useless. I know Zelda employs some, but they are all secondary to the main game (aside from a few instances). And even then, Zelda has some of the best side-quests ever. Not even in terms of design, but just pure rewards. I can't think of any modern game that actually gives you something for finding all 600 or whatever, but Zelda consistently provides that.
I'm going through the same process. I often find myself feeling jaded towards modern gaming, sometimes for good reason and sometimes not. But I think...I've always been this way. Even the slightest design flaw is just....ugh, murder. Throw it out. I had the same perceptions when I was a kid or teenager, but I also didn't have fucking responsibilities that have eaten my game time alive. Games didn't exist under the pressure of, "I only have 45 minutes of free time today and this game I'm going to spend it one better be FUN dammit!" I just played games, usually for hour after hour without a care. I think that, sometimes I'm grateful I only enjoy around .5% of all the games I come across, because that's all I have time for anymore.
On the other hand, value is defined by scarcity. It only makes perfect sense that games of genres that are being sequelized to death become less valuable to you or I, and eventually become outright annoying. I love a nice, big cheese burger...every once in awhile. Not every day. I love a great, violent first or third person shooter...every now and then. Not all the goddam time, and they all have the similar color palettes, and the same controls and the same online stat-grinder... Of course we're jaded, consuming the same thing over and over again with little or no variation for years at a time makes people crazy.
So in my disenfranchised life playing games I've found that there is probably even more out there for people like me than every before. There may be more crap than ever before, but there's also more diamonds in the rough, too. I still think our best days are ahead of us, not behind.