Left 4 Head (Windows Media Player)
Developer: Some cheap ass studio
Publisher: Rapidshare
Released: Yesterday according to /v/
MSRP: Hahahahahahaha no

Left 4 Head is a survival-horror porno. Kinda surprised it took this long to come out really, but I'm sure the fanboys crying over the various ways Zoey gets plowed will be happy now. It's around 12 minutes long and will change the way you play Left 4 Dead forever. Seriously, it's the worst thing.



So anyway, we follow Zoey walking through some wasteland city looking for Louis (Well gee I wonder why), but ends up in a house with 2 zombies. Don't worry, she kills them before they start mauling her. Then we see a Hunter crawling across the floor, followed by a quite possibly the greatest looking Smoker ever, except this Smoker has something else that's really long and extendable. Our deformed friend gets Zoey, but not before groping her and shoving his extend-o-cock down her throat. She stands there wriggling around for a good minute (Somewhere inbetween lifts up her shirt too for some reason, maybe all that infected dick was making her hot or something) before shooting the Smoker off-screen and moving on. Come the fuck on, if I'm watching a porno about zombies, I at least want to see some sweet kills as well.

Anyway, she moves on down a hallway while we hear a Hunter in the background, before it runs up behind her and takes her down to the floor and starts pulling down her jeans and lifting up her top. Apparently Zoey wears a tiny ass pink thong too, although I never saw that in the original game or artwork, so I'll just take their word for it. Then the Hunter starts feeling her up for a good minute or two which is painfully awkward to watch before getting on top of her and whipping his zombie penis out. She's kind of eager to get to work on it too, so maybe that explains why she's always walking off on her own and running into specials. This goes on for the remainder of the movie until she finishes the Hunter off, then coincidentally gets "downed". The Hunter drags her off and it ends.



To their credit, they do use the original sound effects of the Hunter and Smoker. It's really a weird mix of legitimate voice work from the game and the best worst acting I've ever seen. Then there's the setting. It goes from this empty ghost town scene with wrecked cars to some lifeless building that wouldn't be out of place in F.E.A.R., which I don't remember from any of the 4 campaigns. It should be noted that there's also no Witch, Boomer or Tank which sets up a glorious and much anticipated sequel, which I would genuinely be surprised if they didn't make. Don't act like you wouldn't want to see a shitty B-movie of Zoey getting it on with that PMS bitch.

Overall it's funny and relevant enough to keep watching, but unsettling enough to minimize and go about doing something else while the creepy generic horror music and L4D sounds play in the background

Score: 2 -- Bad (Not like "Jelly Car" bad, more like "Power Glove" bad) (2s are a beautiful disaster. Any good they might have had are quickly swallowed up by Zoey's mouth, poor design choices or a plethora of other issues. The desperate or the gullible may find a glimmer of fun hidden somewhere in the pit.)



This review was the stupidest fucking idea ever oh god I'm so sorry for this.