I don't take this shit seriously, and neither should you.
Kif's Official Guide On How To Get Your Monthly Musing article featured!! (YAY!)
1. Be professional. No lolcats (Sorry guiz my cat ated tem lmbo)
2. Namedrop one of these: Half Life, ICO, Shadow, Bioshock or any game by Atlus
3. Wait for it...
4. BOOYAH!! You now have a featured article!!
(Alternative method: Write as if you were Anthony Burch)