I Do Not Like Nathan Drake.

I always wished that I’ve written more, yet the same obstacles always spring up at me whenever I do make an attempt; college work, lack of ideas and poor grammar being the main culprits. Fortunately summer is upon us, at least I think it is (There’s enough rain to convince me otherwise), and with exam result passed there should be no reason why I shouldn’t be blogging more. Except for that big stack of games I have that has been piling up since February. Games which were put off because of college work, lack of ideas and poor grammar. One of those games being Uncharted 3.
Now I’m not the biggest fan of Uncharted series, but I will admit the improvement between the first two was notable so I figured that Uncharted was one of those titles that with eventually win me over or at least exhaust me until I’ve have no other option. Unfortunately Naughty Dog’s third installment has failed to do so, well for me anyway. I can see others complimenting its’ visual and set pieces, even if they seem forced at time and the dogfights are something I can really admire if I weren’t so busy glued to walls. There are games with more flaws that that I forgave and games I have praised games which lacks the polish and shine that Uncharted 3 presents itself in. Then again a majority of the polish and shine comes from the unkempt hair of Nathan Drakes, who is one of the biggest plebs of all of video games.
Escapism is always what drew my into computer games, donning the shoes of someone else and marching onward for an adventure where the skies, or the invisible walls, are the limits. However it’s very hard to appreciate the adventure and the good times to be had in it because I’m controlling a person who probably would have made fun of me up for playing video games in the first place. It’s not the fact that Nathan is unlikeable, but there are genuinely interesting people in the Uncharted universe that ignored in favour of Drake. For example Charlie Cutter, the double agent who aid Drake and Sully on their quest for the mystic maguffin. He’s polite, tough, knowledgeable and has a great taste in films yet whenever it Cutter has something interesting to say it always seems to be interrupted for Nathan ‘clever’ one liners.
I’m not saying Nathan should stop being a jerk but if I were to have it my way things in the Uncharted series would differ in certain ways.


In retrospect, I do like the moment when the gang went on about mobile phone contracts

Have someone genuinely hate Nathan.
Honestly I’m fine with playing as a jerk as I’ve done so in the past. However, the problem isn’t that I’m playing a jerk but rather I’m controlling a jerk in an alternate dimension where everyone doesn’t realise who much of a pillock he is. Take alpha-jerk Bill Murray for example, Hollywood’s go to guy for a tosser. However what differs Bill Murray from others is that whenever he acts in a rather unpleasant manner he dislike for doing so. But Drake just says whatever he wants whenever he wants and the rest of his friends just accept what spawned out of his mouth was the fried gold of wit.
Villains don’t count, in fact the antagonist of Uncharted 3 don’t really seem to mind Drake as a person. In fact one person looks like the kind of guy that would hang around with drake in his school years, helping him to beat me up for playing videogames.
What I want is someone who is forced to hang around with Team Nathan so I can personally refer back to know that I am not away with the fairies.

Have someone regularly insult Nathan.
Standard dialogue of Uncharted goes as follows; someone makes the setup, Nathan steals the punchline, pause for laughter, rinse and repeat. Humour is opinionated and if you find Nathan worthy to split your sides to, power to you. My gripe is why is ‘he’ the only one to poke fun? Every game he takes a swing at his comrades and they just absorb the insults. Why? It’s not like Nathan is flawless, there’s lots for Sully to poke fun at. For an adventurer and an extractor of the world’s most valued possession, he’s pretty accident prone. Nathan Drake? More like Nathan ‘Break’! There, that is the Hindenburg of awful puns but at least it shows that funnies aren’t in favour Nathan.

Have Nathan Drake Learn a Lesson.
Ok in fairness Uncharted did have good intentions and had a moral to teach at the end of Uncharted 3. At certain points of the game the gang decide to use that frontal lobe and question Nathan’s goal and whether or not the juice was worth the squeeze. This is good question, they’re not risking anything and the opposing team are willing to risk the worst case scenario to get it. ‘This is great’ I thought, this gives Nathan firsthand experience of what peril he is putting everyone when the worst case scenario does happen, when he then realises what a massive spanner he is. Unfortunately Nathan doesn’t come to terms with this, ignore the idea and proceeds onward for more hijacks.
I suppose that would be a radical for this to happen since it’s a thought that could terminate the series as a whole. Then again Uncharted have other morals that it could teach; one-liners don’t suffice as a comeback, your wealth is directly proportional to how evil you are and stop ditching Elena Fischer*. (*seriously)



Perhaps it is rather petty for me to moan about a game and its’ main character. Also odd, after all, he ‘is’ the main character. This isn’t the daring tale of how you saw your best friend found the mystic maguffin. Uncharted is really about the adventure and the Nathan is simply vessels that allows you to experience in it. But that’s the thing, it is about the adventure, one which I would like to experience but can’t Nathan Drake isn’t the kind of guy I’d want to take an adventure in the first place.
I’ve the same problems with Uncharted as I do with The Cather in the Rye, I want to support the idea of the rebellion and angst but it’s very hard to when the protagonist is a smug, spoilt dullard. If I can’t enjoy and support The Catcher in the Rye if it means agreeing with Holden’s viewpoint I certainly can’t enjoy Uncharted if it means going by the World according to Drake.
They say that it’s not the destination that makes the person but the journey and this one made me a bitter and less tolerable with for weak sarcasm and more appreciative of the mute button.



- Sorry for the weak title. An alternate would of been For F**k Drake but I felt I couldn't pass it off without sounding like a pleb myself.-