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JuiceMcNasty's blog

8:18 AM on 04.07.2012

The Man, The Myth, The Nasty: 10 Things About JuiceMcNasty

10. I once pissed in a Burlington Coat Factory dressing room

I remember when I was 9 years old after having a delicious lunch with my family at The Islands Restaurant we went to a nearby Burlington Coat Factory. Before leaving the restaurant my mother warned me to use the restroom because we would not be home for awhile. Being the stubborn little shit I was I refused because "I didn't have to go then!" -- That and having the confidence that I would be able to go at the Burlington Coat Factory.

How wrong I was...

I walked up to a nearby employee and asked where I could find their restroom to which she snapped:

"Employees only"


"Not my problem"

Needless to say at this moment JuiceMcNasty was born as I made the decision that separates the men from the boys. Piss myself or make it her problem by relieving myself in the Burlington Coat Factory dressing room. To avoid the anger of my mother and an endless barrage of "I told you so", I can truthfully say that was the most enjoyable piss I have ever taken.

9. I have only finished 3 games start to finish in the last year

Despite gaming an average of 30+ hours a week, and knowing my own tastes so well that I very rarely buy a game that I personally find atrocious. I have only completed 3 games start to finish in the last year, and no I am not talking about 100% completion, I mean basic story mode.

I have ADGD.. Attention Deficit Gaming Disorder..

Growing up I never had much of my own cash, so my game purchases were rather few and far between. As an adult I have been stuck in the habit of purchasing games that I always wanted to play as a teenager but could not afford. The worst part is I have a hard time focusing in on playing just one game at a time, I want to play them all at once!

Then when you factor in Steam sales, new releases, and the fact that I play WoW you get quite the stockpile of games, and suddenly 30 hours becomes rather minuscule...

8. I want to live well into my 70's so I can do drugs

In high school I did my fair share of drinking, but never really got into experimenting with drugs. It was not necessarily a lack of curiosity that held me back, but rather a fear of my parents’ drug testing me due to my irregular sleeping habits and slipping grades.

So naturally I decided it is never too late to try drugs! -- though just not now..

Instead I will wait until I am old, decrepit, and have no one counting or relying on me and try a veritable buffet of drugs. Acid, Ecstasy, Cocaine, PCP, nothing is off limits to this old man!

7. I am currently working on a gaming web show that I hope to premiere in May!

While I don't want to give out any details until I know 100% all of the details behind this show, I am working on a video game show. What I can say is it will involve booze, games, and a lot of foul mouthed people I am sometimes ashamed to call my friends.

6. I am 23 years old and just barely decided what I want to be when I grow up.

After going through a slew of possible career choices ranging from musician, firefighter, and a few other more embarrassing idea that I won't even touch upon. I finally decided I want to be a chef, it was something that was so simple and in plain sight all of these years I just didn't bother to acknowledge it.

The truth is as far as I can remember back I would sit in the kitchen and watch my mom or nana cook. I was always so interested in experimenting with new flavors to create something new and unique. The idea, science, and art behind cooking is something that has always baffled me. The difference between mediocrity and greatness can be something as simple as a pinch of salt.

5. I one day hope to merge my passion of gaming and cooking together!

While I am unsure of the medium that I will choose to accomplish this sort of thing I am very interested in making something along these lines a reality. Whether it be a restaurant, a cooking show, or a book I am still undecided.

Aiming high; I would love to own a gamer friendly restaurant with theme dishes, served on old table top arcade cabinets.

Yeah that's right.. NOM NOM PEW PEW!

It would be complete with a full service bar with plenty of health and mana potions for all!

4. My dog is awesome, and his name is Frodo.

3. I had my first girlfriend in kindergarten because I was the Green Ranger..

The first day of Kindergarten I got my first girlfriend on the playground while playing Power Rangers. I was the Green Ranger and she was the Pink Ranger. She decided that naturally the Pink Ranger and Green Ranger are boyfriend and girlfriend so naturally that meant we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

Our relationship was turbulent to say the least and ended abruptly when she pulled the arm off my red ranger..

Yeah those ones, needless to say I am glad I kicked her to the curb, I got 99 problems but a broken Power Ranger ain't one!

2. In a perfect world all food would be Hot Wings!

As far back as I can remember I have always been madly in love with Hot Wings. Literally I could eat Hot Wings for every meal of the day, every day for the rest of my life and die a happy man. My addiction has even crawled into the realm of other foods as I pretty much pour wing sauce on everything I eat.

Everything should taste like bacon you say? BACON SHOULD TASTE LIKE HOT WINGS!

No seriously, I would not want to continue living on in a world without Hot Wings. All of my vices aside Hot Wings will top the list any day. I would give up drinking, smoking, and women before I would give up Hot Wings.

This is like porn for my soul

1. I don't have the best voice, but that doesn't stop me from singing!

I have always loved playing guitar, and in high school wanted nothing more than to be a rock star. As I got older I focused more on singing as it was something that I found to be insanely fun -- even if I wasn't the greatest. For the longest time I was too scared to ever sing in front of anyone, slowly over the years I became more comfortable with singing to close friends.

This is the first time I have ever posted something like this in a completely public place, and I am okay with it. Only took 10 years to stop being a pussy,   read

9:46 AM on 04.06.2012

Dreaming: nom nom nom MASSIVE BRAINS!

As with the end of every expansions lifespan, boredom begins to sink in, and I decide to freeze my WoW account until the next expansion. The biggest problem with this being after about a week I want to play a new MMO. After much trial and error with new MMOs I find myself wanting something new, different, and exciting! While my idea is not original and is completely tangible -- this blog is more of a focus on my opinion on how the game should be handled in terms of game play, presentation, and substance. I am aware and really excited for the "Class 3" project by Undead Labs that will make its way to XBLA in the future.


I am a pretty simplistic - easy going guy when it comes to expectations, I like my beer cold, my flags American, and my zombies dead, and there is nothing wrong with tried and true clichés. Dumbing the overall plot down is not necessarily a bad thing when it comes to the legions of undead waiting to feast on your flesh. When it comes to the survival brand the most important part is the player’s personal trials and tribulations of the players involved. The focus on how the world came to be becomes almost miniscule when compared to the personal narrative of each survivor and their non-stop struggle for survival.

Personal narrative in MMOs has always been awkward territory, though better in recent years it is still a work in progress. The hardest task is finding the right balance between generalized plot points that fit every possible outcome, yet still not so broad that the player feels excluded. I felt that a great example of how to remedy this was DCUO and the post solo instance cut scenes. It was a very well presented collection of comic panes that delved deeper into the psyche of the hero or villain that you just defeated. It did not try to awkwardly fit you into the storyline, but at the same time drew you more into the story learning more about your enemies.

Plus it is very pretty!

Game play:

The overall game play would be of the third person shooter variety that Left 4 Dead has done very well. While the game is suggested to be played with other players it is not required as you are capable of doing instances solo. While doing them solo is an option it is at a scaled down difficulty which also means scaled down loot.


The game would revolve around 4 main character classes each with their own personal strengths and weaknesses bring a level of diversity to the game play. Sorry for the lack of creativity when it comes to class names, but sadly that is just not my expertise.

Soldier/Brawler (tank, dps): This is your run of the mill tank class focused on leadership, moderate damage dealing, high damage mitigation, and crowd control. This class focuses more on heavy weaponry to draw in the hordes of zombies to assure the survival and safety of the rest of the party. The Soldier/Brawler is also very capable of hand to hand combat utilizing items in the environment to their advantage when ammunition is at a premium. Though the Soldier is capable of dealing higher damage and absorbing more damage, the Soldier is slower than other classes.

Trapper/Demo Expert (dps, support, tank): This class will play hand in hand with your tank assisting in crowd control to keep the focus off the core dps and support classes. The Trapper’s focus is luring the hordes into cleverly placed traps for maximum efficiency and damage. While not as effective as the Soldier in terms of defense this character is capable of tanking with clever use of the tools at their disposal. This character is capable of modifying weaponry and ammo for more power, and capable of repairing items. In the end this character is the jack of all trades but master of none.

Gunner/Sniper (dps): The Gunner/Sniper class will focus only on dealing damage and dispatching enemies with the upmost efficiency. The Gunner/Sniper is capable of using and mastering any type of firearm at their disposal. Whether you like to run and gun for maximum carnage or like to take your time to focus in on your target with a well placed shot for the kill this is the class for you.

Medic/Chemist (support, dps): Almost every MMO has a need for a medic in one form or another. This character will focus on keeping the rest of the party in good health. The Medic is a master of utilizing resources to provide provisions for the party. The Medic is also able to create concoctions to help raise party morale and immunities. Though a support class the medic is capable of holding their own in a fight by using their vast knowledge of chemistry to create deadly mixtures to fight the undead.


The specialization system will allow you to build your own unique variation on whatever class you choose. A perfect example of this sort of thing done well is Borderlands. While you are bound to a certain class it doesn't mean you cannot be unique and still customize your character to your personal play style. While this seems to be a staple of MMOs I felt Borderlands did a great job of making this work for a shooter. Even if you are in the camp that it was just a complete rip of other games various "talent" systems; what works, works.

Instanced Combat:

All of the games combat would be instanced; the ability to seclude a player in their own personal story while still existing in a massive environment has been a huge boost to story progression. This allows for very intense scripted moments of game play that can often be quite memorable when done correctly. This also gives a chance for developers to give a nod to the greats *wink* MALL LEVEL *wink*!!
The world outside of the instances would be a collection of safe zones in which players can socialize, trade, and purchase provisions. Getting into an instance will be as simple as waiting in a queue or forming up a party by hand.


While this is just the very basics of what it would take to make the game work all of these ideas together would be my true dream game. Though it is very obvious this is a mass of ideas lifted from other games and condensed into one, why fix what isn't broken?

A man can dream can't he?

2:27 AM on 04.03.2012

The effects of presentation on perception.

I find myself time and time again drawing inspiration from the same places over and over again; it seems as if every one of my posts begins with a passionate gaming discussion amongst friends. I won't try to fight influence and accept the fact that I predictability incarnate.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon gaming session with two close friends; we continued to pass on the controller to one another as the other would lose. Mindlessly gaming and chatting about anything and everything relating to games, current and past. We delved into our usually stomping grounds which always seem to lead into some form of a Metal Gear Solid based discussion. As we jumped from rant to raves we stumbled upon a sore subject in my mind.


I will warn you ahead of time that my hatred for this game is rather unjust as I have yet to play a final product, but I am like a parent protecting their cub when it comes to certain levels of nostalgia. The Metal Gear franchise alone has held countless memories for me, as I am sure it does for many of you out there. For me this series has proven that proper storytelling can immerse a player on a level where you have to ask yourself, is this really all just a story -- or a potential portrayal of what happens behind closed doors. Perhaps I am a bit too passionate, but I digress.

When asked what it is about this game that I unjustly held so much distaste for, I had absolutely no solid answer. I continued to stumble over my words making no logical sense, I knew how I felt, was sure I knew why I felt that way, but just could not put it into words. Finally giving up with a long drawn out sigh -- "Fuck it". After another hour or so of gaming and discussion we decided to call it a day.

Even after they left I was still troubled and frustrated with myself being unable to give reason as to why I was so unhappy with this game. Then it hit me plain as day, I watched the trailer again and was filled with that hot burning nerd rage! It was so simple, how could I have been so stupid, it was the trailer alone that made me dislike this game with such a passion.

Thought provoking, subtle, and inspirational are words I would never even dream of associating with this trailer. Instead I was given fast riffing metal guitars, with mindless hack and slash violence, and giant bold words with words akin to "VENGEANCE", "RISING", and "MOTHER FUCKING BRUTAL VENGENCE!". Well maybe not that last one, but I think you understand what I am getting at here. Instead of a series that was known for deep thought provoking concepts and ideals of political climate, I was given something that felt cheapened and relative to a straight to DVD action movie.

Sort of like this.. But worse..

Before you demand my head on a pike or release the hounds; I completely understand this is not your run of the mill Metal Gear game. I understand the game was built on the principle of "Lightning Paced Action" where stealth game play is not the focus. I am okay with all of this, I really am, which is why I know no matter how much bitching I do I will still end up buying this game in the end, I am a chump.

I am just saying if your gonna be hardcore, you might as well go balls out! Thanks to my buddy Jon Armstrong for providing the Macho Man voice. Also I apologize in advanced for anyone unfortunate to watch this atrocity.

I guess my biggest pet peeve was in the manner that something of this manner was presented. Instead of garnering the quality I expect from anything relevant to the series, it felt cheap and out of place. While the game still might be great I have found this overall flaw in my opinion to be quite the turn-off for something that would normally have had me screeching like a child on Christmas morning. Instead now I am screeching like a bitchy little child who didn't get what he wants..

Well played Konami... Well played...

I suppose I have veered quite far off my original point of making this post. I found it quite interesting the presentation of something like a trailer can have such a huge impact on your overall opinion of a product. The music choice, the wording, even the font choices were enough to have me ready to condemn this game as pure garbage that should never see the light of day. While this does seem completely absurd and unjust is it really in the end when we have so little to go off of?

I would love to hear your opinions on this, have there ever been any games that previews whether it been screenshots, trailers, or descriptions have turned you off to a game? Extra credit if it is a game that you were turned off to and eventually found out was great!

By the way thanks to my friend Angelica for giving me a solid jumping off point for this article! If you guys have the time you should check out her cosplay group. They make all their own costumes and are quite phenomenal at what they do, perhaps you will catch them at a con! Any support you can throw their way is much appreciated. Check them out on Facebook and Youtube!


1:25 PM on 11.30.2010

I am 22 today.. Another year.. less skills than before.. Also love story?

So after many days of work with almost no time off I decided nothing sounded better than relaxing at home lazing about and playing some Call of Duty online. After a few rounds of Domination and getting destroyed over and over again by players more than likely half my age it set in.

Another year has gone by and my video game skills have only gotten worse.

It is a sad realization that has been sinking in as the years go by, I went from being able to breeze through Contra on 10 lives, or Megaman X in one sit down session with no continues. Now I find my skills on par with.. well.. this:

Okay so maybe I exaggerate a bit but I must admit I am nowhere near where I used to be in terms of skills. So after much pondering and loathing the aging process I have come up with a few reasons as to why I fail now.

Devotion and dedication!: When I was a kid I had no concept of time when my SNES was on. There were many mornings I would force myself to wake up at 5am just to get an hour or two in before school. When I got home I would rush through my homework (or not do it.. sorry Ma) just to get right back into my gaming sessions. I would never give up, no matter how hard a game got I continued trying over and over again no matter how absurd and ridiculous the difficulty got. I was a glutton for punishment through and through and would never call it quits or even think of turning down the difficulty. I simply lived with the mentality of "I came, I saw, I conquered". The constant strive and perseverance pushed me to the very brink of my prepubescent sanity, but in the end paid off as even some of the most complex games were cake to my young mind.

Lack of money: When your allowance is only 5$ a week it takes a vast amount of time to save up for a new game. Especially when your day to day life included resisting temptation such as trips to the ice cream man for party poppers, cap guns, and Pokemon cards well over a reasonable price. Under these circumstances my game library as a child was somewhat limited seeing as the only times of year I could bank on a freebie were my birthday and Christmas time. This being the case I was forced to play what games I had to the point that I had left no stone left unturned, no secrets left behind, and 100% completion being the norm. Even when I found myself stuck and unable to advanced I knew I would get it eventually seeing as it could very well be another 6 months until I receive a new game.

Lack of Time: Though lack of money was a big issue in the war to satisfy my cravings for video games the one thing to counteract this problem, only one sentence could make me jump for joy.

We're going to Blockbuster.

If there is a heaven, this was it. I could spend hours upon hours reading each box to find the one perfect game to take home with me, if my parents would have let me that is. I have so many fond memories of playing some of my favorite titles of all time thanks to Blockbuster Video. The only thing that held me back was whatever title I took with me I only had 3 days to beat it. Unfortunately there was a time that Blockbuster only allowed 3 day rentals on games and 2 days on new titles, which does not leave you much time to beat a game. Being pushed into a corner I was forced to play on a skill level that forced me to optimize my playtime!

Overall love for what I was doing!: Video games have always been a big part of my life. From the first time I played at the age of 5 it has been a 17 year long love affair. Allowing me to be the super hero, the villain, the race car driver, the pilot, and the list goes on and on. This was an idea that was so awesomely absurd to me then and even now that I still at times have a hard time fully grasping it, and that is okay. I love video games for what they are and the fact that I have received so many hours of enjoyment, learned valuable lessons at times, or been able to experience some of the best stories ever told through an interactive medium.

I could go on all day, but you get the gist.. Though my skills have diminished much over the years my love for video games will live on.   read

1:12 AM on 11.18.2010

Tony Hawk Fail, Response to Jim Sterling and Activision.

After reading a recent post from Jim Sterling about a Tony Hawk game that I had no clue about until seeing this post and the pitiful sales numbers.

3,000? That is disgusting in terms of sales, almost unbelievable. To fall from the top being a franchise that has generated over a billion dollars of revenue since the series launch to.. well.. this..

The biggest issue I have found with the series is the push towards "realistic" game play and leaving out the fun factor. The biggest downfall being that of an added peripheral to really "draw the gamers into the experience" and make you feel like your "really skating" just like Tony Hawk! When in actuality all this does is add frustration and essentially the factor of being unable to play the damn game.

No seriously please take 5 minutes out of your time to go over to YouTube and type in Tony Hawk Ride fail and you will find plenty of related videos. Even one of a kid knocking himself unconscious while trying to preform a grind. Something that used to be as simple as tapping X and hitting triangle, has morphed into an actual feat that could cause you bodily harm. Hell maybe I was wrong to judge the realism of the Tony Hawk Ride and Shred series, maybe it really is more like skating than I was led to believe.

But I digress.

The one thing I find the Tony Hawk series lacking these days is fun. I remember how good it felt to pull off insane combos or jumping out of a helicopter into a half pipe and getting insane air. I remember how much fun it was to play with the level editor and codes just to find a bowl to grind just as the clock is about to end to preform a never ending grind that essentially became an endurance test between friends testing who would quit first. I miss Officer Dick and Spider Man as playable characters, yes absurd and completely awesome at the same time. I loved completing the level objectives no matter how repetitive they were the fact that you threw me in a new level just to do what I did in the previous was enough for me. Simplicity is something I find lacking often in these newer generation games and I feel like this series still has life left to give, so long as developers are willing to stop trying so hard for realism and ground breaking territory and give players what they want. Simplistic, High Scoring, Super Combo, Dark Sliding, 2520, Dick Spider Man, Fun.. Especially fun.

Even though I have long grown out of my skating phase I can truthfully say to play another true Tony Hawk Pro Skater game would be amazing.   read

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